Slipped Away
by MovesLikeHummel
Summary: Severus Snape tries to get out of being a Death Eater and supposedly gets killed. Lily wants nothing more than to forgive him. Will their second chance turn out like they thought? Snape/Lily AU DISCONTINUED INDEFINITELY
1. Torture

Another story idea I got. Sorry the first chap is so short. Enjoy!

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The sun was shining down on the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry one warm September afternoon. Lily Evans was particularly enjoying the good weather by sitting by her favorite tree near the lake. She was sitting with an open book in her lap as she watched her boyfriend, James Potter, playing with a golden snitch. His friends sat around in the circle watching him as well.

James loved to be the center of attention, and Lily didn't really mind that. She tended to be the center of attention as well, just because she was popular. Lily's gaze drifted from James to other kids enjoying the sun. The fall of their sixth year at Hogwarts was turning out to be harder than they thought. Lily had passed all of her O.W.L. examines, which meant she continued in every subject she took. She found all the courses to be a lot tougher that she thought.

Her gaze drifted over and landed on a dark figure huddled over a book by a tree. Her heart skipped a beat as she recognized it, but her anger overwhelmed that feeling and she tore her eyes away from him. She would not, could not forgive Severus Snape for calling her that nasty name. It was all because of those horrible Death Eaters he was hanging out with. She told him not to hang out with them, but he wouldn't listen. She felt this way, he learned his lesson.

"Hey, Lily, whatcha looking at?" James asked as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She snuggled closer to him, enjoying the feel of him close to her.

"Nothing." she leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her book. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Just talking about how Wormtail didn't make it into Potions this year because he blew up his cauldron during testing last year." Sirius said as they broke out in laughter. Wormtail's face was red as his friends laughed at his expense.

"Oh, that's too bad." Lily smiled sympathetically before laughing with the others. She glanced back over to the dark figure sitting by the other tree. Shocked, she found herself staring into his black eyes. When they met, she looked away quickly.

"Lily, are you ok? What is it?" James asked.

"Nothing." Lily sighed. James looked over at the other tree where her gaze had been.

"_Snape_." he narrowed his eyes. "What is he doing this time?" James grabbed for his wand and was about to stand up.

"Nothing! He hasn't done anything!" Lily grabbed James' robes and pulled him back down.

"What's gotten into you, Lil?" James questioned.

"There's nothing wrong." Lily snapped. She reached for her book and chanced one more look over at the tree. This time, she found herself looking at nothing but the tree. Shrugging, she turned to the book and tried to focus on the words as her boyfriend and his friends went back to their chatter.

Suddenly, a little ways from where they were, a bang caught them all by surprise. Lily jumped up, abandoning the book on the ground. Everyone else jumped up as well, and they all had their wands in hand. The resident tribe of Death Eaters – minus Snape - ventured across the grass, pushing anyone out of their way.

"Snape? Where are you?" one of them yelled. Lily grasped her wand and leaned against James as he held her, wondering what they were up to. A first year was sitting in the grass in front of where they were headed. "Get out of the way, Mudblood!" the leader yelled, kicking the first year until they scrambled away. The little boy scrambled until he was out of the way, tears running down his cheeks as he sobbed.

"That's horrible!" Lily cried as they watched them. It wasn't very often that they made this little trip through the grounds, but it was usually hell when they did.

"SNAPE?!" They yelled. Lily was looking around, wondering where Severus had gone off to. Not that, she cared or anything. But she saw him finally emerge from the bushes behind the tree and join the group. They quickly disappeared behind the bushes once again and everyone was able to take a breath, the tension gone.

"That poor kid." Remus sighed. "Next time, they'll probably kill someone."

"That's awful. I wonder what they wanted with Sev – Snape." Lily said.

"Who cares?" James shrugged. "Let's head back inside and see if that kid made it to the hospital wing."

"That sounds like a good idea." Lily said as she picked up the book she had left on the ground. She and the Marauders headed up towards the castle. As they neared the entrance hall, they heard screaming coming from near they had been. Lily looked behind her, but James and Sirius were pushing her inside.

"We don't know what it is. Best just to get inside!" James said.

"Wait!" Lily wretched her arm out of James' grip. She turned and started to walk back. A fourth year Ravenclaw girl was running as fast as she could to the castle. Lily stopped her. "What's going on?" she questioned. The girl's eyes were wide in fear.

"They are torturing that Muggleborn girl that was sitting out by the lake. It's horrible. They're making that greasy boy do it!" the girl was taking five times the normal speed.

"Snape is doing it?" James pulled out his wand again.

"They're making him! They're threatening to kill him if he doesn't! I'm going to tell a teacher!" she told them as she started running again. Lily's eyes were wide in horror as she grabbed her wand again and ran back through the courtyard back toward the lake. The screams of kids surrounding and the girl being tortured echoed across the grounds.

"Oi! Thugs!" Sirius yelled as they approached, prepared to hex them all. The Death Eaters looked up at the five of them getting closer. Severus spotted Lily stared at her with wide eyes as he put his wand down. His expression was something he didn't show very often, fear. His mouth was open like he wanted to say something, but before anyone could do anything; Avery wrapped his arm around Severus' throat and put the tip of his wand to his neck.

"_Expelliarmus_!" the voice of Dumbledore echoed as Avery's wand flew from his hand. He tightened his grip on Severus' neck, nearly choking him. The teacher's were approaching, motioning for the students to back away. "Let him go!" Dumbledore held his wand up, ready.

"He's a bloody traitor!" Avery spat, tightening his grip once more. Severus was gagging, trying to pull away. Nothing he did could get him away. Behind them, Evan Rosier had pointed his wand at the bushes. The group of young Death Eater's moved to huddle together, dragging Severus with them.

"Accio portkey!" Rosier shouted. From the bushes, an old boot flew towards his hand. With a crack, the group disappeared.

Everyone lowered their wands. Professor McGonagall rushed over to see to the motionless girl. Dumbledore turned to face the other students.

"Everyone inside! Now!" he shouted. McGonagall had the girl's body floating in the air, a look of worry on her face.

"Sir! What's going on?" Lily tried to ask as the Marauder's were dragging her toward the castle. Dumbledore ignored her as he talked to McGonagall.

"C'mon Lil, I'm sure they'll figure it out." James grabbed her hand and headed for the castle.

"But…what about Sev?" Lily found herself saying. Her anger bubbled inside her even more when she saw him torturing that poor little girl. But the look of fear on his face when he looked at her was a bit of a shock. She figured he'd enjoy using the Cruciatus curse on some muggleborn.

And what was it Avery had said about him being a traitor? And why was he choking Severus? So many things ran through her mind, she could hardly keep track.


	2. Worried

disclaimer: nope, not mine

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"PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!!" the voice of Severus Snape howled as he backed against the tree nearby. He slid down so that he was sitting, his knees unable to support him any longer. His robes were torn and blood soaked. He was sure nearly every bone in his body was broken. Blood dripped from his nose, the corner of his mouth, and even the tips of his long black hair.

"Shall we kill him now?" the hauntingly smooth voice of Lord Voldemort asked his followers as they gathered around him. "Or should we offer him a chance at life again?" Voldemort looked down at Severus, who looked up at him with wide, terrified eyes. "I could make him duel for his life, huh? Wouldn't that be exciting?" Voldemort sneered as he reached into his robes and pulled out Snape's wand. Slowly, he grasped the end of it, extending the handle towards Severus. Terrified, Snape reached out for it. Thinking it his chance to try and get away, he grabbed it and scrambled to his aching and most likely broken feet.

Deciding it was time to use nonverbal spells, Severus thought, _Sectumsempra! _Voldemort blocked the spell as soon as Severus casted it. Limping, Severus tried to run behind the tree before Voldemort could cast another hex at him. All Severus could hear as he attempted to catch up on his breath was Voldemort's maniacal laughter. Thinking he was ready to cast another spell, Severus turned around with his wand up, but he was hit by a painful blast of the Cruciatus curse. Severus let out a painful scream, deafening the laughing Death Eaters.

"Please! Please…kill me…just kill me!" Severus pleaded, clutching his side as a burst of pain shot through it from someone kicking him.

"Shut up, traitor!" someone shouted.

"Silence!" Voldemort yelled, pulled back the torture curse. As he moved to step towards Severus, a loud _crunch_ was heard. Voldemort shook his head as he tucked the two pieces of wand into his robe. He looked down at the sobbing boy.

"My Lord, not that I am questioning your judgment, but he is just a boy. Don't you think this is a little harsh?" a sweet voice spoke. But it wasn't the voice that silenced the death eaters. It was the words.

"He has made his choice. And that choice is punishable by death, no matter what age he is, unless you feel for this boy? This _child_?" Voldemort looked at Narcissa Malfoy with a questioning look on his face.

"My Lord, it pains me to see him like this. I knew him in school. Lucius and I, we befriended him. _Tried _torecruit him. He's still young. He has yet to sort out his priorities." Narcissa folded her hands in front of her and bowed her head when she finished speaking. Voldemort looked from the sobbing boy on the ground to the woman in a hooded cloak standing before him. He thought about his options before looking up at Narcissa.

"Perhaps, Narcissa, you would perform the killing curse on him yourself?" Voldemort grinned and raised an eyebrow as Narcissa looked up at him with wide eyes. Her already pale skin turned a ghostly white.

"N-no My Lord. I couldn't possibly." she managed to say.

"It would be putting him out of his misery. When he's dead he can't feel things like this!" Voldemort pointed his wand at Severus and yelled, "Crucio!" Severus howled as pain coursed through his veins, causing his body to seize uncontrollably. When the curse began to fade, he laid there gasping and moaning as his stomach retched but nothing came up.

"Alright! I'll do it, My Lord." Narcissa took another step forward, trying not to look at the bloodied mess of a boy. She reached into her robes to pull out her wand. Severus looked up at with a terrified look.

"P-please Cissy d-don't d-do it! P-please…I'm sorry…" Severus sobbed staring up at the blonde woman, who had silent tears rolling down her cheeks.

Narcissa raised her wand, and with a catch in her voice, she whispered, "Avada Kedavra." A flash of green light came out from the end of her wand.

XXXXXX

Lily could hardly concentrate on making her potion as she looked at the empty table near the front of the classroom. It had been a week since they had disappeared with Severus, and her anger had quickly disappeared and turned into fear. What if something happened to him? What if she never saw him again? Oh how she wanted to tell him now that she forgave him…

She was startled out of her thoughts when a hand was placed on her arm. She looked up to see James, standing next to her looking worried.

"Is something up, Lily?" James wandered. He followed her gaze to the empty spot that Snape usually occupied. _I thought she was over him_, James thought to himself. "Don't worry about him, Lily. He's probably off killing muggles or something." James sat down next to her. She turned her head sharply and gave him a glare that startled him.

"How could you say that? How could you say something so horrible?" Lily's eyes began to water as she glared at him.

"Relax. I was only joking." James held up his hands in defense. He looked over at their cauldron, trying to change their topic by looking in the potion. "What are we supposed to add next?" he asked when Professor Slughorn was walking by.

"I…I think the chameleon scales." Lily wiped her eyes and gathered the small pile of chopped scales. Just as Slughorn paused to watch, she dropped them in.

"No! You shouldn't be-…" Slughorn was cut off by the boom of an explosion. Lily and James' potion had blown up and splattered everywhere. Slowly, everyone came out from under their tables. Lily stood, tears in her eyes, covered in potion.

"Oh Professor, I'm so sorry…" she sobbed as boils began to rise on her and James' faces and hands.

"That's alright, Miss Evans. You have reason to be distracted." Slughorn sighed as he cast a quick glance over at Severus' desk. Even though Severus didn't have many friends, a lot of sixth years were restless and distracted after the incident by the lake a week ago. No one wanted anyone to be hurt, not even Snape.

"We should go to the Hospital Wing." James grabbed Lily's hand and looked up at Slughorn.

"Yes, yes very well. Madam Pomfrey should help you with those boils." Slughorn nodded as he pulled out his wand and waved it over the mess in the classroom. The remnants of destroyed potion disappeared instantly. Outside, James and Lily were walking up the staircase out of the dungeons.

"What's going on, Lily? I thought you hated Snape?" James questioned as he adjusted his glasses on his boil covered nose.

"I didn't hate him! I was just angry at him! I didn't like the way those death eaters were influencing him. When he called me that word, I knew I couldn't be friends with him if he was going to be that way. But you saw the way they were trying to hurt him!" The tears in Lily's eyes began to flow down her cheeks.

"Lily, I'm sure Snape can take care of himself." James sighed, a bit annoyed.

"You're just saying that because you don't like him! It's been a week, James. A _week_! What if there really is something wrong?" Lily was sobbing as James pulled her to him. She cried into his shoulder.

"We should be getting to the hospital wing." James smoothed her red hair away from her boil covered face and held her hand as she stepped away.

"You're right." she wiped her tears on her sleeve and followed James as they made their way to the hospital wing. "I'm just so worried…"

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Ok, here's the second chapter. hope you liked it. If you did, please review!! It gives me inspiration and makes me update faster!!


	3. The Riddle

Don't own them. Darn

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Albus Dumbledore sat in his office, contemplating his next action. He had not attended a meal in the great hall for the past week; instead he had the house elves bring him food. He knew that the only thing he could do now was wait and hear for news of Severus Snape. None of the other students had come back either. How had this happened right in front of him? Hadn't Severus come to him the day before asking him for protection?

Severus had realized the mistake he had made by getting involved with the death eaters, so he went to Dumbledore, hoping that the headmaster could offer him some help and protection. Albus had questioned his motives at first, prodding at the boy to get him to confess what was behind his sudden change of heart.

"_Lily Evans, sir. It tears me apart to see her hanging all over Potter. I want to show her that I'm not bad like them, that I realized my mistakes." _

The boy had been reduced to tears, right here in his office. He had never seen a soul as closed and distant as Severus' nearly explode from emotion. Albus had ached for the boy, realizing the pure love that coursed through his veins. It seemed strange for a Slytherin, cunning and resourceful, to be on his knees sobbing and asking for help guidance in front of the Headmaster's desk.

Albus had offered the boy different sleeping arrangements, as to avoid contact with his peers. He had asked the other teachers to keep an eye on him at all times. Severus had told him that he could get out of it, that he had yet to take the dark mark on his arm. He had assured Albus that as long as he had protection, he could get out of it. Severus had told him it was not too late.

But Albus knew differently. Albus knew that Voldemort thought a sixteen year old boy could be easily manipulated. It was far from over. They wanted Severus' power. They would kill to have it, and if they couldn't have it then no one else could.

Those thoughts ran through his head again as he sat at his desk, trying to figure out his next action. Just as he began to stare blankly at the wall because he was so lost in thought, an owl squawked and flew in, landing on his desk. It held out its leg. A small scrap of folded parchment was tied to the owl's leg. Dumbledore leaned forward with curiosity. He untied the parchment from the owl's leg and handed it a small treat he had sitting in the candy bowl on his desk. Unfolding the parchment, he found it to be red with dried blood. On one side was the loopy handwriting of Severus Snape. They were notes that had something to do with some potion and changing ingredients for something or other. Albus turned the parchment over and saw a different kind of handwriting, and the whole time he read it, he held his breath.

_Dear Albus,_

_We regret to inform you of the unfortunate passing of Severus Snape. You should have seen it, it was awful. Bloodied and broken, the boy begged for death. Pity, isn't it. He did __betray us, and he deserved death. Perhaps you'd like it described? He cried the whole time. He cried out for you and for some girl named Lily. It was gruesome, really. The Cruciatus curse was used a lot. We all took joy in throwing him around. The sound of his bones breaking as he was smashed against a tree, or the sound of his cries as we burned him from the inside out. Oh yes, he practically begged for death. He asked for it. He pleaded for it. You can't blame us for granting his wish._

Dumbledore let out the breath he had been holding in. Fear coursed through his veins as he stood quickly. He went over to the fireplace, throwing in a small handful of powder, he said "Minerva's office" and stuck his head in.

"Minerva!" Albus said.

"Goodness, Albus you scared me." Minerva stood from her desk and rushed over to her fireplace.

"Gather Horace and Poppy. Meet in my office. Quickly!" Albus said. He pulled his head out before Minerva could respond. Albus made his way back to the desk and stared at the note. Under it, a riddle was printed. There was a catch in his throat as he read it. _Yes…_ he thought to himself. The thought of a smile had crossed his mind, but he didn't think he could bring himself to actually do it.

Moments later, McGonagall, Slughorn, and Madam Pomfrey entered his office. They were shocked to see Albus sitting in his chair staring up at the ceiling with a blood stained piece of parchment in his hand. They were sure it was about the recent disappearance of Severus Snape. The one that they had not acted quick enough to prevent.

"What does it say, Albus?" Minerva asked. Ignoring her question, Dumbledore mumbled his thoughts as he stood.

"The worst. I feared the worst. I tried to offer protection, but it didn't work. Now the worst has happened on my watch." Dumbledore muttered as he made his way to the front of his desk.

"What does it say?" Minerva repeated her question, stepping towards the headmaster.

"He's dead. It says he's dead. There's a riddle. I…I think it might tell us where his body is." Dumbledore crushed the paper in his hand. His face was contorted in anger and pain as he thought very hard about how it could've happened.

"Who is dead?" Slughorn questioned stupidly. Madam Pomfrey shot him an angry glare.

"Severus Snape." Minerva turned around and spoke his name quietly. Slughorn's eyes grew huge before filling with tears.

"What? No! He had so much potential! He could've _been_ someone in the world!" Slughorn wailed as he sat down in one of the chairs near the desk.

"_Far and near you'll look  
__But it'll be so clear  
__Right in front of you he'll be  
__But blindness separates  
__Life and death, you see  
__Find him before you can't  
__And he may just have a chance." _

Dumbledore began to read the riddle that had been written under the cold words informing them of Severus Snape's demise. _He practically begged for death. Bloody and broken, boy begged for death. _

"Albus! We have to inform the Ministry! They've got to know that he's killed a student!" Minerva took another step toward the headmaster.

"I'll owl the Ministry tonight. But Minerva, there is a possibility he might be alive. Maybe if we tell his friends…" Albus was interrupted by Madam Pomfrey.

"The boy had no friends! None at all! Why do you think he was in this mess? No one cared for him, about him! Lily Evans was the only one!" Madam Pomfrey spoke harshly, her eyes filled with tears. She had cared about him more than any of the others in the room.

"There has got to be someone who will help beside just the staff. Maybe Minerva is right and we should recruit help from the Ministry. Aurors, maybe." Slughorn suggested.

"If we solve the riddle in time, we can save the boy. I know that he asked you for help and you feel guilty you couldn't help him. If we think about this we can find him before it's too late." Minerva placed a caring hand on Albus' arm. "At the very least, we can give his family a body to bury."

"Are we going to inform Miss Evans? Earlier today she asked me if I had heard anything about his disappearance. She is still concerned about him, even after their famous little incident last year." Madam Pomfrey said.

"Tomorrow morning. For now, we must let her sleep." Albus sighed. The riddle was running through his mind non-stop. What was right in front of him that he couldn't see?

XXXXXXX

It was nearly midnight when Lily awoke for the eleventh time that night. Her face covered in a thin layer of sweat and her night clothes sticking to her body. Her red hair was stuck to her face and her eyes were filled with tears. She had that horrible 

dream…again. The one where she was walking by the lake after dinner and she spotted something moving in the bushes by the edge of the forest, then she went into the bushes and saw Sev hanging from a tree while the death eaters laughed at his body.

She thought about waking James and seeking his comfort, but that wouldn't help. James was no comfort. He hated Sev. She even blamed her lost friendship with Sev partially on him, but wasn't angry at him for it. It was in his nature to be a little rough with others.

Instead of seeking comfort with her boyfriend, she quietly got up and exited the dormitory. She made her way down to the common room and went to the fire that was still crackling. Sitting on the floor, she hugged her knees to her chest and began to cry. She wasn't mad at Sev anymore. She forgave him. She wanted to be his friend again. She wanted to tell him how she really felt about him. She wished she could hug him and tell him that _she_ was sorry she hadn't accepted the apology sooner and that she was James' girlfriend. She knew that she would never see him again, and if she did it might be in a casket at a funeral in which few people attended. Nobody who was kidnapped by death eaters and gone a week ever returned alive.

She buried her head in her knees and sobbed. She didn't know how long she sat there and sobbed on the floor of the common room, but eventually she felt someone's hand on her back.

"Go away, James." Lily sobbed, not looking up at the intruder.

"I'm not James." the voice of Remus Lupin said quietly. She snapped her head up, looking at him with red, puffy eyes. "I heard you get up." he said as he sat beside her. "What's up?"

"Oh, Remus! I had a dream that he was killed!" Lily leaned onto Remus' shoulder. Even though she had been going out with James since the final week of her fifth year, she always found that she liked spending time alone with Remus. They had been close friends since their third year, but nothing more.

"That's awful." Remus sighed.

"I know you never liked him, and all, but I feel so guilty! What if he is dead?" Lily sobbed even harder.

"Why do you feel guilty? It's not your fault." Remus questioned.

"I know, but I never got to tell him that I forgive him! That I…." Lily trailed off and turned her head away from her friend.

"That you what?" Remus asked softly.

"That I loved him." Lily whispered. "I loved him before he called me that horrible name."

"It's alright, Lily. You don't know if he's de-…gone. He could show up at breakfast in the morning." Remus sighed.

"You don't know that!" Lily sobbed.

"Lily, maybe you should go back to bed or something." Remus stood and tried to grab her arms to pull her up.

"No!" Lily shrieked. She pulled her knees to her chest and began crying again. "Please…I just need to be alone for a while. I'm so worried…" Lily spoke after a few moments of silence.

Remus nodded and left her.

XXXXXXX

The next morning at breakfast, Lily was nearly the last one to arrive. Her face was pale and her eyes were still puffy. Her face void of emotion, she took her usual seat next to James at the Gryffindor table.

"Hey Lils. You look tired." James went to wrap one arm around her, but instead yelped as he received a kick in the shin from Remus. Lupin gave him the look that had don't-mention-last-night written all over it. Before anyone could say anything else, a first year Ravenclaw came running up to Lily.

"Lily Evans?" the girl asked.

"Yes." Lily responded.

"For you." the girl quickly shoved a note in Lily's hand before running off. Lily's brow furrowed as she curiously opened the envelope.

_Miss Evans, _

_Please meet me in my office as soon as you can._

_Sincerely,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

_p.s. Licorice Snaps are quite delicious, don't you agree?_

Lily stared at the writing on the parchment. Her eyes began to tear up. She knew exactly what this meeting was about.

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Hope you guys like it! Thanks to all who reviewed and inspired! Please review, as it really does make me update faster!! Thanks


	4. Realization

I own Sev's wand, but not him or anyone else. Poo...

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James looked over at his girlfriend as he saw her read the note. He had a touch of concern on his face as he saw her eyes tear up. He had an idea that the note was about Snape. He almost hoped the greasy git was dead. Instead of voicing his feelings, James put on a mask of concern.

"Everything alright, Lily?" he asked. She didn't answer. Instead, she handed him the note. He glanced over it before handing it back to her. "I'm sure it's just prefect duty or something." he shrugged.

"It's got to be about Sev." Lily wiped her eyes. James stiffened as she said this. She hadn't called Snape "Sev" since before the Incident last year. "I'm going now." Lily pushed away her untouched breakfast and stood. She was about to walk away when she felt James' hand on her arm. She stopped and looked at him.

"You want me to come with you?" James looked sincere. Lily knew she should be accepting his comfort, but she was just so _worried_.

"No." was her reply as she hurried out of the Great Hall. Before James could even follow her, she had disappeared out of site.

Hurriedly, Lily went from walking to jogging to running very quickly in a rush to get to the gargoyle statue. When she reached it, she muttered "Licorice Snaps". The gargoyle nodded and allowed her passage. She sprinted up the staircase, two or three steps at a time before she reached the entrance to Dumbledore's office. She knew the headmaster had been hiding in his office the past week. No one had seen him at any of the meals.

Lily knocked on the door and heard a muffled "enter". She opened the big wooden door. Dumbledore's office was nothing new to her. In fact, the portraits and the knick knacks where a common sight for her. She often spent time reporting people and their wrongdoings. Sighing, she stepped closer to the desk. Dumbledore was in his chair, but he wasn't facing her. Instead, he had the back of his chair turned and he was facing Fawkes the Phoenix, perched on his stand behind the desk. After a few minutes of awkward silence in the room, Lily spoke.

"This is about Severus, isn't it?"

From the movements of the top of his pointed hat, Lily could tell he had turned his head as if he were trying to see her. He made no effort to turn around and face her directly. Instead all he said was, "The parchment on the desk, Miss Evans."

Lily stepped closer to the desk and spotted a scrap of reddish parchment. She read the side facing up. It was one Severus' notes that he frequently scribbled and shoved in the pocket of his robes. She thought this meant nothing until she ran her fingers along the paper. She noticed the red splotches faded in and out in some spots. Realizing it was blood crusted on the parchment, she nearly dropped it.

"Oh god…" _Is that Sev's Blood?_

"Turn it over, Lily." Dumbledore's voice cracked as he spoke her first name. _It has to be bad, _Lily thought. Dumbledore never addressed her by her first name. Lily turned the parchment over in her hands and read the writing.

_Bloodied and broken_…

_His bones breaking…_

_Practically begged for death…_

_You can't blame us…_

Every word she read made her heart pound faster. Her mind began to grow foggy and her knees became week. She clutched the blood stained parchment in her hand as she fell to the floor of Dumbledore's office. Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed.

"Why?" Lily cried as she buried her head in her hands. "Why didn't I tell him that I forgive him? Why didn't I tell him that he was my best friend?"

_No…he can't be gone._

_It's not possible…_

As she sat and wept on the floor, Dumbledore turned around and looked at the weeping girl. He saw the look of pain on her face as she cried. He knew about the fight between them, and the day that their friendship was lost.

"Why didn't I tell him how much I loved him? Why didn't I tell him how much he meant to me?" Lily was practically shouting at the walls of the office, gaining sympathetic looks from the former headmasters in their paintings. Some shook their heads as they looked down at her, while others were dabbing their eyes on handkerchiefs that had been painted into their pockets.

After what seemed like hours of watching her cry, Dumbledore decided to say something. "Miss Evans…" he said softly. He was now by her side, helping her off the floor. He helped her sit up in the chair and her sobbing was reduced to the occasional sniffle and heavy sigh. When she looked up at the headmaster, he stared into her eyes, shocked.

If the eyes were a window to the soul, then Lily's was broken.

"Miss Evans…" Dumbledore, for once in his life, could not think of a word to say. Somehow, someway, this was affecting everyone more than they ever would've thought.

"What about his body?" Lily spoke softly. _Will I get to see him one more time_? She asked herself. She tried to picture him in her mind: tall and thin, greasy hair, overly large nose, and slightly crooked teeth. No one would find him directly attractive. But if you looked past it all he could even pass for cute…

"There's a riddle." Dumbledore said. Lily looked down at the floor, her face now a blank expression. "There's a riddle that says…" Dumbledore paused to choose his words wisely. "It says that if we find him before we can't see him, he'll be right in front of us." When Lily looked up, Dumbledore felt himself get somewhat annoyed. He leaned against his desk and looked at her. "Miss Evans, he's-…" he started to say, but she cut him off.

"Why did they do it, Professor? Why did they kill him?" Lily interrupted, her voice weak as she spoke. Dumbledore looked startled for a moment, but decided to answer her question.

"Mr. Sna – Severus was trying to get out of joining the Death Eaters. He came to me for help, and I gave him the assistance he asked for. Unfortunately, my old prejudices got in the way and I gave him nothing more than what he asked for: different sleeping arrangements, teachers to keep an eye on him between classes, and time. I didn't think about the protection extending to his weekend activities as well. He said it wasn't too later, that they'd be angry but he'd be able to handle it." Dumbledore paused long enough to gauge Lily's reaction. Her usually bright green eyes were puffy and red, but they were focused on him.

"So you just let him run around with a death wish?" Lily asked, disappointment in Dumbledore laced on her voice. She seemed to be forgetting why she had hated him not even five minutes prior to the start of this all.

"That was not my intention, Miss Evans." Dumbledore sighed. She continued to stare away from him, her mind contemplating everything that was happening. "Do you know what he said when I asked him why he wanted to change?" Dumbledore looked at her hopefully, trying to get a reaction. He did find her sadness strange. He never thought anyone cared much for Severus Snape.

"What?" Lily finally looked up and looked the aged wizard in the eye.

"Love. Love made him change." Dumbledore let a smile grace his lips slightly before adding, "Love for you."

Lily was absolutely speechless. She felt like a huge hole had been ripped through her heart. She never knew that Severus had loved her. But now it all made sense. The reason he had stopped trying to apologize when she started dating James. The reason why he stopped fighting back when James and Sirius tormented him. Now she understood. He felt as though he had lost. She broke his heart.

"I hurt him." Lily muttered. She never thought she could hurt anyone. In fact, she was so caught up in the fact that he had hurt her, she never thought about his side of it all.

"Miss Evans, as I was saying, he may still be alive." Dumbledore told her, getting back on the subject of the riddle. Lily's eyes widened with shock.

"What? You mean…I-I never said…what?" Lily stood on shaky legs, looking accusingly at Dumbledore for some answers.

"The riddle. It says that we may be able to find him before he's dead." Dumbledore said.

"Then what are we waiting for? If he is still alive think of the pain he's in!" Lily grabbed the parchment out of Dumbledore's hand and read the riddle. "Where is he?" Lily asked.

"I don't know. We've been looking. As it is the weekend, we've had every teacher searching. Even a few Aurors from the Ministry are here. They're searching everywhere." Dumbledore said. He had not joined in the searching like he knew he should've. Instead, he sat in his office and racked his brain for answers.

He could think of none.

"I have to help. Please, sir. I have to help find him!" Lily, her eyes still filled with pain and sadness, was nearly jumping up and down with the thought that Severus could still be alive.

"No." Dumbledore shook his head. "You will go back to you common room. Everyone has been told to go straight to their common rooms after breakfast. You will stay there and tell your friends what's going on. Take their comfort when they offer it Miss Evans. You will no doubt need it." Dumbledore told her. Lily glared at him for a few seconds before nodding in agreement.

XXXXXX

As Lily had begun to go down the staircase out of Dumbledore's office, sadness began to fill her once more. She was nearly sobbing again by the time she was past the Gargoyle and out in the hall. The entire hall was empty, with no one to been seen. The castle was eerily silent. Still crying, she made her way up to the seventh floor to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

The Fat Lady, among many portraits, was crying. "Oh that poor boy!" she wailed.

"Does everyone know?" Lily grumbled as she wiped her eyes. "Weedlebaggers." Lily said to the Fat Lady. Still crying, she opened the portrait. The common room was buzzing with activity as Lily stepped in. In an instant, she was crowded with people.

"Is it true?"

"Is he dead?"

"Did You-Know-Who really kill him?"

"I'm so sorry Lily!"

"He wasn't all that bad!"

"Right tragedy it is!"

"What happened to him?"

Lily ignored their questions and statements and moved through them. She felt some of the girls embracing her as she moved slowly through the crowd. Others offered pats on the back, knowing that once she had really cared for the Slytherin boy. Once she was through the small crowd, the common room was quiet again. She saw James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter sitting in the corner of the common room, their backs to her. They obviously hadn't seen that she had arrived.

"Do you think he's really dead?" Remus was asking.

"I bet he isn't, and they're just playing a joke on us." Peter answered.

"The teachers wouldn't banish us to our common rooms if there wasn't something going on." Sirius said.

"If you ask me, I'm glad Snivellus is gone. Bad egg, that one was." James said. That was the voice that stuck out the most to Lily. Anger bubbled within in her and she felt herself wanting to use James as a punching bag. Instead, she was reduced to yelling.

"I can't believe you!" she nearly screamed. "What is wrong with you? Have you no sympathy for anyone but yourself, you arrogant toerag?" Lily was reduced to tears again as she backed away towards the staircase leading to the dormitories. Before she went up, she turned back towards the Marauders. "And his name is Severus!"

When Lily was gone, everyone turned to James, who was looking wide-eyed and frightened that Lily had heard him. Some people glared at him, while others shook their heads in disbelief that he had been so rude.

Sighing, James stood and hurriedly followed Lily up to the dormitories. When he got to the door of the girl's dormitory, he began pounding on it.

"Lily! Please open up! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it! It's horrible, what's happened!" James called through the door. "I feel really bad!" he added. After a few moments, the door creaked open to reveal Lily standing there.

"You never liked him. You don't care." Lily accused.

"I'm sorry, Lily. Please…" James pleaded. Lily was reminded instantly of a few months ago.

"_I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here." _

"_I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just – "_

"_Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice…_

Suddenly, she began sobbing again. Guilt was eating her way as realization of everything that had happened hit her. All of the emotion they had been felt between her and Severus was pounding down on her like an avalanche of bricks. Looking at James one more time, she shut the door on him without muttering another word.

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Hope you guys enjoyed!! Please review!! Thanx 2 my bestest buddy Black Wolf-Dog for the motivation!


	5. Over

* * *

Not mine. They belong to Jo.

* * *

The news of Severus Snape's death spread through the school quickly. There was a gloomy cloud that hung over the school as people mourned the loss of a boy that no one had really taken the time to get to know. Most of the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were sad that someone was dead, not really caring who. The Gryffindors were sad, but mainly concerned for Lily. The Marauders had affected the Gryffindor's opinion of the Slytherin boy. Meanwhile, the house of Slytherin was split. Some were sad, others didn't care, but the majority was happy that a traitor had been brought down.

Students were forced to stay in their house common rooms through the weekend, making everyone restless. On Monday, classes were canceled, but students were allowed to leave their common rooms. Classes had been canceled as the teachers were still searching the school. Every nook and cranny and hidden passageway had been searched.

The Aurors and various Ministry officials searched around where Severus had lived with his parents on Spinner's End. They went to all of the known Death Eater hideouts and searched. There was no sign of him anywhere.

XXXXXX

The entire weekend, Lily sat alone in her dormitory. She sat and looked out the window with her knees pulled up to her chest. Sometimes she cried, and sometimes she didn't. Most of the time, she thought. She thought about all the good times she spent with Severus. All those days before Hogwarts when he had told her about the magic world had been wonderful. There was no prejudice or house rivalry between them. They were just Lily and Sev. At Hogwarts, they began to grow apart. She had her friends and he had his…well…house mates.

The whole time she sat and leaned up against the cold glass of the window, the felt that there was nothing more in the world that she wanted to do than help them look for Sev's body. She knew it had been days since he had been "killed", and the chance of finding him alive was slim.

Next to her on the cold stone of the window sill was a small muggle still picture of her and Severus during their first year of Hogwarts. It had been during the Christmas holidays, back when Severus went home. They were playing the park and making snow angels. Lily's mom had taken the picture. Back when Lily's parents approved of Severus.

A painful memory of the summer between third and fourth year invaded her mind. Before, she had merely been saddened by the memory. Now, it killed her. Clearly, the scene where her parents had suddenly rejected her friendship Severus played out in her mind.

_There was a knock on the door, and Lily bounded down the stairs to answer it. She knew who it was and couldn't wait. Her parents were taking her and Petunia to the _

_museum and said that they could each bring one friend. Lily had chosen Severus. When she opened the door, she found him standing there with his hands shoved in the pockets of his tattered jeans and his grey shirt looking as though it hadn't been washed, but at least it fit him. She knew he didn't have much, and he tried to look decent. He looked away from her, trying to hide his face, but the curtain of black hair couldn't hide the bruise that ran along his cheek bone. _

"_Hey Sev." she smiled at him, knowing he hated her to dwell on his home life. The corner of his mouth twitched upward in a forced smile. _

"_Hi Lily." he nearly whispered. She stood back and motioned for him to enter the house. Once he was in, she shut the door behind him. _

"_Oh you're not bringing _him_ are you?" Petunia groaned when she saw Severus enter. _

"_Yes, I am. Mum and Dad said I could bring one friend, and I chose Sev." Lily huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Just at that time, Lily's mother entered the room and stared wide-eyed at Severus. He had grown at least a foot since the last time she had seen him and was now thinner and paler than ever. In the letters Lily had written to her, she had gotten the impression that Severus was not the innocent, poor boy from Spinner's End any longer. _

"_Lily, I don't think you should bring him." her mother spoke quietly. Severus looked up, questioning her. "Don't you have any girl friends you could bring?" _

"_Mum!" Lily's jaw dropped as she glared at her mother. "Don't just talk about Sev like he's not here." she looked over at him. The expression on his face was painful, almost like someone had stabbed him in the chest with a knife. "Sev…"_

"_No, Lily. It's alright. If your parents don't want me to go, then I'll just go home." he sighed. He shoved his hands back in the pockets of his jeans and hung his head as he made his way out of the room. Before leaving, he paused. "Goodbye Mrs. Evans, Petunia." he nodded at them both, even though he despised Petunia. "Bye Lily." he nearly whispered as he left, ashamed that he was so unwanted. _

"_Sev, wait!" Lily hurried after him. Once they were outside, he stopped and turned around. _

"_What? What have you told them that made them think so badly of me? Last summer they would've loved to have me along!" Severus growled, his expression now angry. _

"_I didn't tell them anything! I swear! I may have mentioned a little friendly house rivalry, that's all!" Lily's bright green eyes pleaded with him to not be mad. _

"_You must really hate me, Lily. Do you know what it took to get out of that bloody house to come here? Last night he broke a bloody whiskey bottle on my head! This morning _

_he told me if I left the house, he'd kill me. If I go back there anytime soon…" Severus trailed off. His hands were now clenched into fists at his sides._

"_How dare you accuse me of hating you? I gave you a chance when no one else would!" Lily cried. "Don't you _even_ try to make me feel sympathetic towards you! Maybe I should have told my parents about the terrible kids you're hanging out with at school! Then they'd forbid me of ever speaking to you again!" _

_Severus looked shocked. "You wouldn't…you don't want to…do you?" _

"_I ask myself that every day." Lily forced herself not to burst into tears when she saw the look of pain on his face. She knew that had stung. He looked away from her and nodded. _

"_Ok." was all he muttered as he turned around and started walking down the pathway to the sidewalk. _

She had not known then that he loved her. She didn't understand how on earth he could still love her after all the heart break she had caused him. Her parents had not taken her and Petunia on an outing since then. In fact, that particular day she had not taken a friend at all. That trip to the museum had been awful.

"Lily?" a soft voice interrupted her thoughts. Lily looked up to see one of her roommates, Mary Macdonald. She was holding tray with a bowl and a goblet. "You missed lunch." Mary said as she set the tray near Lily.

"Thanks." Lily whispered, her voice quiet. Mary was about to leave when Lily spoke again. "Have you heard anything new?" Mary turned around and looked sympathetically at her friend. She knew what Lily meant.

"Alice told me that Remus heard from Joey who was told that Frank said that Dumbledore mentioned that Sna – Severus' mother was coming this afternoon. Dumbledore hoped you'd be there, but Frank said he told Dumbledore that you were still sad." Mary said hurriedly.

"His mother is here today?" Lily swung her legs off the edge of the window sill, knocking the picture that sat there onto the floor. She carefully moved the food Mary brought aside.

"They said she was coming at two o'clock. It's one-fifty now," Mary said. Lily stood up and ran a hand through her messed up hair.

"Thanks for the food, Mary, but I have to go." Lily said as she wiped her red, puffy eyes. She was out of the dormitory in mere moments.

The common room was empty. People had been so tired of being forced to stay in it for two days straight that they were all outside. Lily rushed past it, out of the portrait and down the hallway to the staircases.

She ran the whole way until she got to the gargoyle. "Licorice snaps!" She said in between her gasping breaths. Nearly three days of not moving from one spot hardly at all had taken its toll on her. The gargoyle moved and she rushed up the staircase. Without even bothering to knock on the door of the office, she barged in.

"Miss Evans, house nice of you to come here. I was under the impression that you were still grieving." Dumbledore spoke quietly.

"Have you given up looking?" was the first thing she asked. Lily had so many questions to ask and she wanted answers before Severus' mother showed up. She knew that the woman was slightly unstable, and that she had tried to give Severus a good life. But Severus' father had made that nearly impossible.

"No, we have not given up. I owled Mrs. Snape as soon as I found out and asked when she could that she come to the school and assist us." Dumbledore told her. Lily was about to open her mouth and speak, but there was a knock on the door of the office. "Enter." Dumbledore said. Slowly, it crept open. A thin, pale figure stepped through the door. "Ah, Eileen. Thank you for coming." Dumbledore said in his kindest, gentlest voice.

"I-I had t-to." she whispered. Her eyes were red from tears like Lily's were. "He was my son, my only son! I lived for him." she said as she closed the door behind her.

"He is a fine boy, to be sure. But we need your help. Hope has not been given up yet." Dumbledore was standing and moving around his desk. He gently grabbed Eileen's arm and helped her to a chair. Lily remained standing, watching, near the desk. "Do you know anywhere…_anywhere_…where Severus might go if he were trying to get away from something? Anywhere he might go to get out of the house?" Dumbledore questioned.

"N-no…he just l-left the house and w-went for w-walks some d-days. I d-don't know where he w-went." Eileen was trying hard to restrain her tears. "Tobias didn't want to come today. He said th-that he was h-happy Severus was gone! He always c-called Severus names and t-told him he never w-wanted him! I tried t-to tell S-Severus that I l-love him, but T-Tobias would always…get…" Eileen broke off, her eyes filling with tears.

Lily, too, was starting to cry. She had always known Severus' home life was bad, but she never really knew any details about it. Whenever she met him in the park, he had just said that his parents were fighting and he didn't want to hear it. She had accepted the answer they went on with whatever they had been doing. She had never realized that his father had rejected his son, and it seemed as though he didn't find the boy worthy of love.

Lily disagreed.

"Mrs. Snape…" Lily stepped forward, feeling like she should comfort her. Eileen looked up at her.

"You're…you're that Lily girl! Severus always talked about you! Said you were always nice to him…I…I wanted to thank you for being his friend…" Eileen tried to compose herself once again.

"Sev deserves more friends than he has. Your son is wonderful, regardless of what people say." Lily's hand was laid gently over Eileen's as she let the tears flow down her cheeks. "There is no need to thank me."

"We are still looking. We will look until there is no place to look anymore. This is a tragedy, and the fact that it happened right under our noses has everyone worried. Finding your son, _alive_, is a top priority for the Ministry and myself." Dumbledore told Eileen. "Perhaps you would like to stay at the castle until there is more to say?"

"Y-yes. I would." Eileen nodded.

"I will send for a member of the staff to show you to a guest room." Dumbledore let a saddened smile grace his lips. "And Miss Evans, perhaps you should go outside for an afternoon stroll. Your friends have been wanting to see you."

Lily nodded. She had missed Remus' comfort and James' embrace the last few days. With one last sympathetic smile at Eileen, she left the office.

XXXXXX

Lily found the Marauders by the edge of the lake, under the shade of a tree. Remus, Sirius, and Peter were seated on the grassy bank. James stood a little to the right of them, throwing rocks into the water. Remus was reading while Sirius and Peter where quietly discussing something. James was silent.

"Hi James." Lily said as she came up behind him. He turned around quickly. His eyes were almost wide with shock as he looked at her.

"Lily…are you ok?" he asked.

"Yes…I…I just spoke with Sev's mother." Lily told him. He made no effort to hug her like she wished he would. He stood there, three feet away, looking at her. His friends just stared at him from where they were sitting.

"How was she?" James asked. It was the only thing he could think of to say.

"She thanked me for being his friend. I don't think she knew about last year," she said.

"Oh." was James' response. Lily's wide eyes suddenly turned to slits as she glared at him.

"You know, it just occurred to me that last year would've never happened if you hadn't started hexing him! If you had just left him alone, we'd still be friends and he'd be alive!" Lily crossed her arms of her chest and glared at James.

"Lily, you can't possibly blame me for this! He was a death eater! He was bad, Lily! He knew more dark spells than you can imagine!" James looked at her in disbelief.

"I can't believe you think he doesn't deserve life! You tormented him and made him feel worse than he already did! You don't even know him, James Potter! How can you judge him?" Lily felt anger boiling within her.

"Lily, I wasn't judging him. I just always had a bad feeling about him. I didn't want you getting hurt." James' voice now took on a pleading quality.

"Right. I'm supposed to believe that? You were just jealous that I was best friends with him!" Lily snapped. His mouth seemed to be opening and closing, but no words coming out. By now, Remus, Peter, and Sirius were all standing. Finally, James spoke.

"You know what, yes I was jealous. Yes that is why I tormented him. No, I don't think that he doesn't deserve life! And no, Lily, I don't know him but I get the impression he's not a nice person! _Snivellus_ will never be a nice person, in life or _death_." James raised his voice. He was not quite yelling, but almost.

Lily just stared at him, tears welling up in her eyes. The other three Marauders stood behind James, not saying a word against what he said.

"His. Name. Is. Severus." Lily managed to grind out, enunciating every word loudly. James just stood there, staring into her eyes as she let tears fall freely from the corners of her eyes. "And if that's how you feel, then we are over."

And with that, Lily turned on her heal and marched back into the castle, crying the whole time.

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Thanks to all read and review. If you guys like it PLEASE REVIEW!! I hate being one of those people who gripe about reviews, but they are nice. Thanks :)


	6. Too Late

Not mine. They all belong to Jo.

* * *

The next day was Tuesday, and classes started up again. There was still no sign of finding Severus, and now only half the Aurors were searching, and none of the teachers. They had nearly given up.

Lily Evans knew it. And it broke her heart.

She had not been distraught about her break up with James. She couldn't care less about James. Although, it did hurt her that everyone was comforting James, who had been completely destroyed when she told him they were over. No one gave a thought about her, because they all knew why she had done it. She was sticking up for a Slytherin. A Slytherin that was most likely dead, according to the teachers.

Lily had gone to all of her classes, and only half paid attention. The teachers, knowing she was still distraught, had not called on her or taken any house points from her. They had done the same for James. The other three Marauders spent the whole day glaring at her and whispering about her, angry at her behavior. They would always remain faithful to one of their own before they'd take the side of a girl.

What hurt Lily most of all about that was the fact that Remus had been her comfort and her shoulder to lean on through all of this. He hated Severus, but he still comforted her when they found out what happened. Remus had always taken her side and always been there for her when she needed to let her feelings out. She had told more to Remus than she even shared with Severus during their years at Hogwarts. But now, Remus was casting her rude glances and whispering behind her back just like his friends were, and it hurt her.

When she woke up on Wednesday morning, she knew that finding Severus was getting more and more unlikely. Having not completed an ounce of homework that had been assigned since Severus' disappearance, Lily knew that on top of losing her best friend for good and breaking up with James, she was falling behind in all of her classes. It was nearing the end of September and she knew that teachers would soon be starting to give out more and more work.

With a sigh, Lily made her way down to the Great Hall alone. She didn't feel like eating with everyone, so she took a plate and piled it high with food, not even bothering to sit down. She was almost out of the Hall when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Lily! Where are you going?" Remus was running up behind her.

"Go away. I don't want to talk to you." Lily continued walking away.

"Listen, Lily. I'm sorry for being mean to you, but James has been really…" Remus started to say.

"I don't give a Hippogriff's arse about how James has been! He insulted Sev, and he hurt me!" Lily huffed, feeling tears in her eyes yet again.

"But Lily, he didn't mean to hurt you! You know that he never liked Snape!" Remus told her, slightly frustrated that she seemed unwilling to listen to him.

"Just leave me alone, Remus!" Lily cried. Remus suddenly realized he hurt her, so he reached out to place a hand on her arm. She shrugged him off and accidently dropped the plate of breakfast she had been carrying. Tears cascading down her cheeks, she turned and ran way, sobbing.

"Bloody hell." Remus muttered under his breath as he watched Lily running away from him. He glanced down at the mess of breakfast on the floor. Sighing, he tried to think of a spell to clean it up.

"Mr. Lupin?" the voice of Professor McGonagall inquired from behind him. Remus turned around and looked at her, then glanced back at Lily. "Ah, I see. Let her go." McGonagall nodded. With a flick of her wand, the mess was cleaned up and she nodded for Remus to go back to his friends in the Great Hall.

XXXXXX

Lily suddenly felt very alone, rejected, and depressingly sad. Tears managed to pour out of her eyes. She had thought that with all the crying she had been doing the last week and a half that she'd be out of tears. Apparently not. So, she ran. She ran to the one person she knew could relate to all of her feelings. She went to see Eileen.

Eileen had not left her room at the castle. She had not participated in searches. She just simply waited for news. And waiting can be a very long and boring thing.

So, Lily ran to the guest room near the dungeons and the Slytherin common room and knocked on the door. After a few moments, the door clicked open to reveal Eileen standing there, looking emotionless. Her eyes told Lily nothing and her thin lips were pulled into a tight straight line. Stepping away, the older woman let Lily into the room.

"Going somewhere?" Lily asked when she saw two packed suitcases sitting on the made bed. Eileen sat on the edge of the bed with her hands on her knees.

"Yes. I am going home." she replied quietly, not looking up at Lily.

"Why? They haven't found Sev yet!" Lily crossed her arms and fixed a disapproving look at Severus' mother.

"They have three Aurors looking. They have given up hope, and so have I. My son is dead at the hands of some maniac who thinks it's alright to kill sixteen year old boys just because they aren't sure what they want in life." Eileen told Lily. She did not start to cry. There was no catch in her voice. It was as if she had simply accepted it.

"You've only been here two days! Surely you want to stay a little longer! If not to search for Sev, don't you want to get away from your husband?" Lily questioned. From the stories she had heard, Tobias Snape is not a nice man.

"Why would I want to stay away from Tobias? He's my husband. He's not that bad." Eileen shrugged. "He loved me at one point. He might still if Severus hadn't…" Now there was a catch in her voice. "If Severus hadn't been born."

"Don't tell me you regret him! You are his mum! You _must_ love him!" Lily couldn't believe what this woman was saying.

"Dear child, you are so naïve. I love my son simply because he is my son. But, as he is not with us any longer, I can try and salvage what is left of my life." Eileen stood up and grabbed her bags. "And you can go back to James Potter."

"How do you know about James?" Lily asked. Surely Severus hadn't mentioned James to his mum!

"Severus told me things. He told me that it hurt him to see you with Potter, but he didn't care about that. He said that all he wanted was for you to accept him." Eileen shrugged. "He was desperate to get your friendship back."

Lily looked at the older woman with wide eyes. "I thought you…"

"You thought I didn't know about your argument last year? I wouldn't be his mother if he didn't trust to tell me things." Eileen was moving towards the door.

"But you thanked me for being his friend. If you knew…"

"I thanked you for being his friend because he wouldn't have made it this far if it weren't for you." Eileen told her. She opened the door and was walking out. Lily followed her out.

"I can't believe you're leaving! I think Sev is still alive! He would want you here." Lily walked beside Eileen.

"I don't think he's still alive. Don't you understand that, you silly little girl? You need to join the rest of us in reality!" Eileen snapped suddenly. Lily backed up a step, then fixed a surprised look on her face. "Now get out of my way, Mudblood!"

Lily looked wide-eyed at Eileen, not believing the words that had come out of the older woman's mouth. It was that warm afternoon in fifth year all over again. _Mudblood_. She felt tears beginning to resurface once more, but the time she realized what was happening, Eileen was out of sight. With a sob, Lily went running out the nearest exit, desperate to get away from the people who insisted on hurting her more.

XXXXXX

Albus sat in his office, glaring slightly from behind his half-moon glasses at the blood soaked parchment. It had been folded so that the letter declaring Severus' supposed death was against the desk and the riddle was facing up towards him. He had been spending yet another day analyzing the riddle, questioning its meaning. For once in his life, he had not been able to solve a riddle.

_Far and near you'll look  
__But it'll be so clear  
__Right in front of you he'll be  
__But blindness separates  
__Life and death, you see  
__Find him before you can't  
__And he may just have a chance_

Everything about it was strange. He was sure that by right in front of you, they meant somewhere at the castle. But he didn't understand how blindness separated life and death. And finding him before they couldn't see, did that mean they'd take him away from where they hid him? Nothing he thought of made any sense. He had interpreted every possible meaning, but _nothing_ made sense.

"I think you're analyzing it too hard." the voice of Minerva broke his thoughts.

"I've thought of everything. I've looked at it and interpreted it every way a riddle can be looked at." Albus' hand formed a fist on the desk. He was frustrated to say the least.

"Perhaps, Albus, the riddle was not meant to be looked at from a 'riddle' perspective. Maybe, you need to look at it with a logical mind. Or perhaps, even a dark mind." Minerva suggested. When Albus didn't say anything, she continued. "What is always right in front of us, but we can't see it?"

"I don't know, Minerva! I cannot think of anything!" Albus slammed his fist on the desk. He stood and turned away. Then, in a softer voice he spoke. "Fetch Alastor. Perhaps he can help. He does know how to think like Dark Wizards."

Minerva simply nodded and left the office.

Moments later, Mad-Eye Moody appeared in the same spot Minerva had occupied moments before. "You wished to see me." he said.

"Yes, Alastor. You have read the riddle, I am assuming?" Albus turned to face the Auror. Mad-Eye simply nodded. "Have you any ideas?" Albus questioned.

"The passageway behind the portrait on the fourth floor?" Mad-Eye suggested.

"No, it's already been checked. Every passageway and hidden room that I know of has been checked." Albus raised his voice. He was getting impatient. The shock and anger at knowing that he had let the boy down and that it was practically his fault he was dead was evident in his voice.

"It's not your fault, by the way. Some guys in my office have been trying to find out who was involved." Mad-Eye told him.

"Any luck?" Albus asked.

"They caught one of the kids. Mulciber, actually. He told us that most of the Death Eaters were there. Gave us a pretty brutal layout of the torture. Said they kept him in a small room for the first four days while You-Know-Who thought of something to do with him before they killed him. Then they brought him out and...Mulciber said that a few of the men had some fun with him. Then they took turns with the Cruciatus on him. That was the fifth day. The sixth day, they made him try and fight for his life. The seventh day, they beat him, used the Cruciatus, broke his wand, and then You-Know-Who forced someone besides himself to kill him." Mad-Eye sighed. "The kid was put through something horrible. If he is alive, somewhere, somehow, he probably wants to be dead."

Albus stiffened at this. He was still turned, not facing Mad-Eye. He closed his eyes. Even he, usually calm and collected, was getting more than emotional from the entire thing. Perhaps he should join Miss Evans in sobbing out of misery.

After a few moments, he turned and went to dismiss Mad-Eye. "I will sleep on it, tonight. Perhaps I can think of another solution." Albus sighed. Mad-Eye nodded, taking the hint. He turned and left. So did Albus.

XXXXXX

_Lily was looking for Severus. She wanted to go talk to him. She wanted see him. She didn't know why, but she just got this urge to go and talk to him. She giggled as she thought of something her and Severus had joked about not that long ago. Her "Severus senses" were tingling. _

_She was walking out to the lake where Severus always seemed to be. She was looking forward to hearing about the new book that he was reading and the new spell he was working on. Lily was so very proud of his abilities. Every time he went to show her something, she would always tell him that it impressed him more than anything James Potter ever did. _

_So, Lily spotted a group of people huddling together in near the lake. As she approached, she realized that they were all huddling around muttering quietly to themselves. She approached them, trying to see Severus. _

_Severus was in the middle of a group of people. He seemed to be alive, talking. Lily watched him, thinking about going up to him. She knew that those people weren't any good. She didn't want to get caught up in them, either. Instead, she stood back and watched from behind a tree. _

_One second all seemed well and Lily thought she could take a breath. Then the next moment, she heard an ear splitting scream from the group. They started yelling and shouting different hexes, and Lily new that Severus was being hurt. Crying, she make her way over to them and started yelling, the only thing she could think to do. When she got there, Severus was laying motionless on the ground. Blood was everywhere as he stared blankly, his eyes still open, up at the sky. He was dead. _

XXXXXX

Lily woke, drenched in a cold sweat, to see her roommates crowding around her bed. She looked up at them with wide eyes. The image of Severus lying on the ground in a puddle of blood was etched into her mind. Panting slightly, she looked around at the other girls.

"Lily are you alright? You were screaming!" Mary questioned. It had been the first time Mary had spoken to her since she broke up with James. Mary and James happened to be close friends, and it angered her to see James so broken.

"I…I had a bad dream." Lily muttered, sitting up and shrugging her blankets down. Bad did not even begin to describe the dream.

"Was it about Snape?" Alice questioned. Alice was the only one that hadn't taken a side between Lily and James, because she spent most of her time with another group of people mostly consisting of Ravenclaws.

"I…I don't want to talk about it." Lily said quietly. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and buried her head in her hands, willing herself not to cry as she saw Severus dead on the ground on the inside of her eye lids.

"Maybe we should just leave her alone." Mary was saying behind her.

"Just go to breakfast without me." Lily looked up at them. They had already dressed and looked ready to start the day. Lily realized that it was Thursday and there were still classes that day. Groaning, she looked at her pile of books that had remained unopened. She had not paid attention in any of her classes, nor had she completed any of the essays her teachers had assigned. So far in this school year, Lily had not learned a thing.

When the dormitory was empty, Lily dressed and gathered her things in her bag before heading downstairs. The common room was empty, except for James Potter sitting near the fire. He looked up when he heard her coming down.

"Hey Lil." he said as he stood up.

"Get away from me." Lily snapped. She really was not in the mood to talk to James.

"Lily, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry. I love you and I just can't stand not having you." James was almost pleading with her.

"Sod off, Potter." Lily practically growled as she tried to get to the entrance to the common room.

"Come on Lily! What do I have to do? What do I have to say to get you to forgive me?" James raised his voice. Lily halted and dropped her bag to the ground. She turned around and marched up to James until she was standing right in front of him.

"There is _nothing_ you can do to get me to forgive you, James Potter! It's too late for you to apologize! Going out with you was the single biggest mistake I ever made! I hate you and I never want to talk to you again!" Lily yelled, tears forming in her eyes. Before she could turn around, she felt James' hand in her hair, holding her in place. He cupped her cheek in his other hand before crashing his lips against hers in a rough kiss. Angry she moved her hands up to his chest and pushed him away with all her might.

"You are disgusting!" Lily screamed. He just glared at her through his glasses. Tears were now pouring out of her eyes. She forgot about breakfast and her bag on the ground as she rushed upstairs to her dormitory.

XXXXXX

"You wanted to see me again, Albus?" Mad-Eye Moody once again stood in front of Dumbledore's desk as the Headmaster looked up at him.

"Yes, I did." Albus nodded.

"Have you thought of something?" Mad-Eye questioned, raising the eyebrow above his one good eye. He stood with his hands balled into fists at his side, as tense as ever.

"Yes, Alastor, I have." Albus watched the Auror's reaction. He inwardly smirked at Moody's impatience. "The Room of Requirement."

"Of course! Why didn't we think of that sooner?" Mad-Eye said instantly. Albus stood slowly and rounded the desk, now standing in front of the Auror.

"We shall check, but do not get your hopes up. My hopes of finding the boy are long gone, and yours should be too. But it does seem strange how no one has thought of the room before. Now, let us go search." Albus followed Mad-Eye out of the door of his office.

It seemed a short trip to the seventh floor corridor where the Room of Requirement supposedly hid behind the solid stone wall. Albus and Mad-Eye stood in front of the wall expectedly. As students passed by, they stopped, wondering what was going on. Suddenly, Albus began pacing back and forth.

_I need to find Severus Snape. I need to find Severus Snape._

The phrase repeated itself in his head as he paced. His light blue robes swished around his feet as he squinted through his half-moon spectacles. Mad-Eye stood and simply watched him, as did the growing group of students. They were mostly Gryffindors, wandering the seventh floor on their way to breakfast.

"What's going on?" the voice of Remus Lupin questioned as he, Mary, and another Gryffindor sixth year girl named Joanna, pushed their way to the front.

_I need to find Severus Snape. I need to find Severus Snape. _

Albus was growing impatient with the room. He had already thought it through, and was sure the Room would understand what he needed. He kept repeating the mantra, ignoring the small group of onlookers. Mad-Eye took a step towards him…to tell him to stop? He wouldn't. He guessed he had been pacing for near ten minutes now, but he kept going.

_I need to find Severus Snape. I need to find Severus Snape! _

"I _need_ to find Severus Snape." the words flowed through his lips quietly. As soon as he spoke them, there was a small rumble in the wall. The eight or nine Gryffindors watching backed away quickly. Suddenly, the stone sounded as if it would crumble as it sunk in. Where it sunk in a door began to take shape. Albus looked at it, wondering if this really was what they were looking for.

Albus and Mad-Eye stepped forwards, pushing the door open. Albus heard himself and Mad-Eye both gasp at the sight that met their eyes.

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Dun dun dun!! Oh the suspence!! Thanks to my reviewers and to Black Wolf-Dog for listening to me rant. Check out her stories, they rock! So, with that said, REVIEW!! Review and you shall find out what happens quicker!!


	7. Hope

Not mine, unfortunatly. They belong to Jo.

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Albus and Mad-Eye rushed into the Room of Requirement after their momentary pause as they took in the sight in front of them. The room was dark, lit by candles lining a small isle. At the end of the isle seemed to be a bed of pillows strung across the floor. It was silent as the two men stepped forward; looking around to make sure it was safe. As soon as it appeared that they could freely move to the other side of the room, they were practically running. They ran until they came up to the bed of pillows, and then halted. The students were crowding around the entrance to the room now, trying to see what was going on.

There, on the pillows was the motionless and mangled body of Severus Snape.

Mad-Eye stepped forward and pressed two fingers to the inside of the boy's neck. After a few seconds, he looked up at Albus, a small smile of triumph on his face. "He's alive." he said. He looked back down and hovered his ear above the boy's slightly parted lips. "And barely breathing. Found him just in time."

Albus nodded as he quickly looked over Severus' body. His school uniform was torn and stained with dried blood. His leg look twisted at an odd angle. The sleeves of his shirt were torn off completely, showing his bruised and now scabbed over wounds. No doubt the rest of him was covered as well. Severus' hair had a scarlet tint to it from the blood. One of his eyes was swollen and his cheeks bruised. Albus shook his head as something caught his eye when Mad-Eye moved to pick the boy up. A note had fallen to the ground.

"We've got to get him the hospital wing," Mad-Eye said. Albus nodded as he knelt down to pick up the note. He opened it and saw an elegant scrawl written across the scrap of parchment.

_I am truly sorry for the wrong I have down. He has been given a potion to keep him alive. I hope it was enough. _

_N.M._

Albus thought nothing about it and shoved the parchment into a pocket in his robes as he ran after Mad-Eye. They pushed past the group of students, who looked with wide eyes at Severus' unconscious form. In the front of the group, Remus and Mary gasped, knowing they had to find Lily and tell her.

"Is he alive, sir?" Remus asked, as Dumbledore passed him.

"Yes." Albus answered as he quickly followed Mad-Eye down the hall. They all but ran to the hospital wing, bursting through the doors, startling a quiet scene of a first year being tended to a small scrape and a fifth year sleeping quietly on one of the beds.

"What the devil is going on?" Madam Pomfrey shrieked at the disturbance.

"We've found him, Poppy." Albus told her as Mad-Eye set the motionless figure on the bed.

"He's alive?" Madam Pomfrey questioned, rushing up to Severus' side. When she realized he was still breathing, she rushed to get some healing potions. She returned quickly. Albus and Mad-Eye placed the curtains around the bed and stepped outside them as Madam Pomfrey shooed them out. She muttered a quick spell to remove his clothes and another to clean the dirt and dried blood off of him. Waving her wand, the potions disappeared from the bottles as they went directly into his system.

She looked him over, examining his injuries. Three broken ribs. His right leg broken in four places, his left in seven. He left wrist was broken and nearly all the fingers on his right hand. He appeared to have concussion as well as a broken jaw. Hurrying, she summoned a blood replenishing potion. Doing the same thing as she had done with the pain relieving potions, she waved her wand and the potion went directly inside of him. She began to work on his broken bones.

Outside, Mad-Eye and Albus waited patiently for Madam Pomfrey. One by one, the other staff members poured into the hospital wing, looking questionably at Albus and the Auror.

"What happened, Albus? Did you find him?" Minerva came up next to the headmaster, a worried look on her face.

"Yes, we found him. He is alive, for now." Albus said, a hint of sadness on his voice.

"Will he make it?" Minerva asked.

"Yes." Madam Pomfrey emerged from behind the curtains. "I cleaned him up, mended his broken bones and gave him a few necessary potions. Now, we must wait for him to wake." she told them.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief in unison.

XXXXXX

"LILY!! LILY WHERE ARE YOU?!" A group of Gryffindors, with Remus and Mary in the lead, rushed into the common room after hearing from a grim looking James that she was still in there.

"Lily!" Mary yelled as she led the way up to the girl's dormitory. All the girls rushed inside to find Lily sitting at her spot on the window sill, tears pouring out of her eyes.

"Lily, guess what!" Joanna squealed as all the girls crowded around Lily.

"Whatever James told you, it's not true. Now go away." Lily turned away from them. All of the girls exchanged worried glances before looking straight at Lily.

"Lily, this has nothing to do with James! They found Snape!" Mary told her.

"Right, good joke, Mary. Really, did Sirius put you up to it?" Lily frowned and moved off the window sill, heading to her four poster.

"No, Lily we're not kidding! Dumbledore and some other guy carried him out of some room just a couple minutes ago! He wasn't moving and he looked pretty beat up, but Dumbledore told Remus he was still alive! They're taking him to the hospital wing!" Mary tried to convince her friend. Lily stared up at them for a few seconds, thinking about what they had just told her.

"He's alive…" Lily muttered. Suddenly, she jumped up off her bed and bolted out of the dormitory. Remus, who had been patiently waiting outside the door, was startled at the blur of Lily's body running past him quickly. After a moment's hesitation, he followed her down the stairs. She was out of the common room and through the portrait before he was down the stairs.

Lily raced through the hallway, her hair a streak imitating flames as is billowed behind her. She earned herself more than a few strange glances as she ran, her feet pounding hard on the stone of the grand staircase. Running through the castle, she didn't think about getting tired, or the fact that she was running out of breath. All she cared about was getting to the hospital wing. It had to be true. She couldn't stand it if it wasn't. All she cared about was seeing Severus.

The image of his face had been burned into her memory, but not the way she wanted it to be. She kept seeing the disappointed look on his face when her parents wouldn't let him go to the museum with her and the look on his face when he pleaded for her forgiveness last year. And all the times she saw him in her dreams when he was dead. After all the years they had been friends, Lily could only seem to remember the bad times.

Finally, she came upon the doors of the hospital wing. She slammed into them, pushing them open. She caught the attention of a dozen staff members huddled around blue curtains draped around one of the bed.

"Is it true? Is he ok?" Lily asked, slowing to a walk and gasping for breath. Three of the Professors stepped aside as she marched up to the curtain. Madam Pomfrey was standing, addressing Dumbledore. "Is he alive?" she asked.

"Miss Evans…" Madam Pomfrey stared at the young girl. She placed a hand on Lily's arm. "Yes, he is alive but…" she was interrupted by a squeal of glee from Lily. She was so happy that he was still alive, after everything she had been through. All the worrying, all the hoping, and all the crying she had done. She was so thankful he was alive.

Lily pushed past Madam Pomfrey and tried to go behind the curtains to see him, but she was grabbed by two teachers. They held her back as Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore looked at her with concerned eyes.

"We don't know exactly the details of what happened to him, so we don't know how he'll react when he wakes up. What we do know is that it will most likely be unpleasant. We know for a fact that the Cruciatus curse was used on him, and that's enough to spark some concern as to the boy's mental state." Dumbledore spoke before anyone else could. Lily looked at him, held up now only by the two teachers that were supporting her, with wide eyes.

"Albus, I hardly think it's appropriate to explain it to her." Professor McGonagall stepped forward.

"Nonsense, Minerva. If she seems so intent upon seeing him so quickly upon his rescue, she shall be educated about what to expect when she sees him." Dumbledore looked over at the other Professor.

"Stop it! You're scaring me!" Lily was on the verge of crying. "Please…can't I just see him?" she whimpered. _Just the curtain separating us_…She couldn't stop thinking, he was just beyond this curtain, but they were setting her up to think there was something horrible behind the curtain. It was scaring her. She was beginning to expect You-Know-Who himself behind the curtain.

All the teachers looked at her again at her sudden outburst. A few looked sympathetic. Dumbledore looked at her, seemingly probing her mind for something. When he realized just how desperate she was to see Severus, he nodded slowly. Madam Pomfrey still had a disapproving look on her face, but she too stepped aside, allowing Lily to go towards the curtain.

Lily braced herself as she drew the curtain aside. At first, standing at the foot of his bed, all she saw was a sleeping Severus, blue sheet pulled up to cover his pale bare chest. His hair hung around the edges of his face. Stepping towards the left side of his bed, she saw the bruises and the half healed cuts on his arms. His pale skin had a purplish tint to it from all the bruising. One of his eyes was swollen, his left wrist and his entire right hand were bandaged up. The exposed skin of his chest was also purplish and splotchy.

Lily gasped and covered her mouth as her knees near gave out from under her. She fell backwards into a chair that had been placed beside his bed. She let out a sob as she realized the curtains were now closed and Madam Pomfrey stood in at the foot of his bed.

"How bad was it?" Lily asked in a small voice. She reached out to touch his long fingers as they hung out from the bandage around his wrist. She gasped at how cold they seemed.

"Three of his ribs are broken. His right leg is broken in four places and his left leg in seven. His wrist was broken and all of the fingers in his right hand are broken. He had a concussion and a broken jaw. I have set all the bones and gave him a few potions, but the rest from now is up to him." Madam Pomfrey told the girl as she sobbed harder.

"Oh Sev." Lily cried as she moved the chair closer to the side of his bed. He looked so peaceful in the bed, unaware of the injuries that had been inflicted upon him. "I'm so sorry, Sev." she gently entwined their fingers, taking extra care not to bend his broken wrist, and kissed them.

"I will leave you alone with him, Miss Evans." Madam Pomfrey smiled sweetly before disappearing through the curtains. There was a low murmur of the teachers on the other side, but Lily didn't hear it. She was too busy watching the steady rise and fall of his chest as she nestled her head on the side of the mattress near their entwined fingers.

XXXXXX

Remus had seen everything until Lily disappeared behind the curtains. He still stood outside the hospital wing, while everyone else had gone straight to breakfast after finding that Lily had made it their in one piece. None of them really cared about Severus, but they did care about Lily, whether she had made James unhappy or not.

So, after making sure Lily got to what she had so desperately wanted, Remus turned and left. He really did care about her, and felt horrible for ignoring her. What he felt the most regret for, was not defending her when James started spreading lies.

James had told people that Lily was rude and obnoxious during their breakup "fight". He told everyone at the Gryffindor table (when Lily wasn't around) that she had yelled at him, telling him that she would prefer dating a boiled lobster about to be eaten than him. He also told people that she had slapped him hard and then hexed him to the ground, before running off with the intention of telling a Professor that he had tried to rape her.

Remus knew that it wasn't true. Lily hadn't laid a hand or wand on James. Sure, she was upset, but she had every right to be. Remus felt like a complete idiot for defending James, when he knew he should've been helping Lily.

But now, Lily was safely tucked away in the hospital wing by the side of the one person she truly wanted to be with at that moment in time. Really, Remus was rather glad that Severus was alive. Sure, they had their disagreements, but it was as if a huge black cloud had disappeared from above the school.

As Remus made it to the Great Hall for breakfast, he was bombarded by questions about what had happened. The rumors that Severus had been found spread rapidly through the school. He merely told people that the Slytherin was in the hospital wing and Lily was there too. It seemed as though the whole school could finally let out the breath they all seemed to be holding.

"So what's this I hear of Snivelly being found _alive_?" James smirked as Remus took his spot next to Sirius at the table.

"Yes he was." Remus said simply. He reached out to take a piece of toast.

"Did you hear what ol' Prongs did this morning? I was under the cloak when it happened, of course." Sirius was grinning wildly as he glanced at James.

"What did he do?" Remus cast a disapproving glance at James, knowing that whatever it was, it wasn't good.

"He was showing Evans her place." Sirius' grin never faded.

"What did you do?" Remus practically snarled as he slammed his hand on the table. This attracted the attention of a few other Gryffindor's at the table.

"I just kissed her. She insulted me, so I had to leave with some dignity." James said casually as he took a bite of sausage.

"So that's why she was crying when we found her? You call reducing an emotionally unstable girl to tears leaving with your dignity intact? You're thicker than I thought!" Remus snapped.

"Look, Moony, I know that you care about her, but she prefers _Snape_ over any of us! Any girl that would rather be around Snivellus has got something wrong with her." James snapped back.

"Any guy that would dare accuse Lily Evans of having something wrong with her after what she's been through _clearly _has something wrong with _him_!" Remus stood and leaned over the table, glaring at James. James stood as well, matching Remus' glare.

"Are you telling me there something wrong with _me_? There's absolutely _nothing_ wrong with me except for the fact I fancy a girl who is out of her mind!" James told him.

"She is NOT out of her mind! She is the kindest most trusting person I have ever met! She is compassionate beyond what you'll ever know! She feels guilty for what happened to Snape because she knows it could've been prevented! And obviously she blames _you_ and Sirius for the whole thing to start with!" Remus raised his voice, now yelling. He was about to lunge forward and throw his balled up fist and James' face before a voice startle them both.

"Mr. Lupin! Mr. Potter! What is the meaning of this?" the squished form of Professor Slughorn interrupted their argument.

"Nothing sir. Just a little disagreement between friends, that's all." Sirius stood up to face the Professor. He offered Slughorn a smile before pushing Remus back into his seat. James, seething, kept standing.

"Yes, Professor, just a little disagreement." James growled before stalking off out of the Great Hall.

"Alright then. Stay out of trouble." Slughorn shrugged and waddled up to the high table.

XXXXXX

Albus once again sat in his office. He had left the hospital wing moments ago. Miss Evans had been silently sitting by Severus' side. It had been a comfort to see the young man close to the one he loved, whether he was aware of it or not. It was an even bigger comfort to see the boy alive and breathing. However _un_well he was.

With a sigh, he pulled out the note that had been found by Severus' side. The initials on the bottom of the scrap seemed familiar. _N.M_. And whoever this N.M. was they seemed to act as though they had committed a horrible crime. Could it have been another Death Eater perhaps? One that felt remorse?

"…_then You-Know-Who forced someone besides himself to kill him." _Mad-Eye Moody had told him the day before.

Could the mysterious N.M. be the person Voldemort forced to kill Severus? It seemed likely.

Albus studied the handwriting on the note and concluded that it had to be a woman. The writing was beautiful and elegant, and it seemed as though the person who wrote it would be beautiful and elegant as well. Now, who did Albus know whos initials were N.M.?

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**There you go! Hope you liked it. This chap was definately for Black Wolf-Dog. So she better get her but working! Anyway, did you know that reviews feed the plot bunnies and the plot bunnies tell my fingers to type and my fingers type ultimately getting YOU (the reader) more story FASTER!! So please feed the bunnies and review...thanx**


	8. The Waking

No, I don't own them. They belong to Jo.

**This chapter is dedicated to my beloved dog Lou, who lived a wonderful 13 years, and this afternoon joined her parents and siblings in the great doggie heaven. Rest in peace, Lou, and know that we love you always...**

* * *

Lily quite literally refused to move from Severus' side for days. Three days after they had found him, he had not woken. Although, his broken bones were healing quickly and his skin was slowly turning from its purplish bruised color to a darker, more bluish color. Madam Pomfrey had assured Lily that it was normal, and there was nothing to worry about. They both knew that she was uncertain as she spoke the words of comfort.

Many people had passed through the hospital wing. Some included younger Slytherin's who felt bad for the things that had happened to him and found him somewhat a hero for living through the encounter. No one knew exactly what happened that night, and it was still a mystery. And people speculated.

Some rumors included that his head was bashed against a tree so many times bits of his skull lodged themselves into his brain and knocked him into a coma. This had been started by a couple of eccentric Slytherin first years that had come to visit him one day. Another more popular rumor included he had been bashed into unconsciousness by sticks, and then petrified. Lily had nearly laughed when Mary and Joanna had visited her and explained that one to her.

The truth was, he was not in a coma nor had he been beaten into unconsciousness by sticks. Lily only knew one thing, and that his was hanging onto life by a thread that was straining. A potion had been administered to him soon after his death that had established the thread. Madam Pomfrey had confirmed that. So, Lily spent day and night sitting by his side hoping that the thread would be strong enough to pull him back to them.

One day, Remus had spent the entire day with her. She had accepted his comfort because he had explained to her the fight that had happened between him and James the day that Severus was found. Lily had to use every bit of self control in her not to grin wildly when he told her that he nearly decked James right across the table at breakfast. Had it not been for dear old Professor Slughorn, James might've been in the hospital wing nursing and broken jaw while trying to apologize her to.

Rumors were also spreading about breaking of the once inseparable Marauders. This, of course gave Remus things to worry about. Sirius often took sides with James, and so did Peter. What would happen to him on the next full moon? Would he be forced into solitude attacking himself once again? Despite Lily's protests, Remus had been quick to attempt to reconcile with James.

On the evening of Lily's third day of sitting beside Severus, Dumbledore had entered with Severus' mother. The woman began sobbing at the sight of her bruised and battered son. Lily didn't blame her. She kept her spot on Severus' left side, her fingers lightly caressing his arm just to keep contact with him. She watched as Eileen sat on the other side, staring with an unreadable emotion in her eyes at her son. After about twenty minutes of glancing at the look in Eileen's eyes, Lily finally deciphered an emotion. Hate. Eileen was looking at her own son with a look of pure hatred. This angered Lily so much, she practically blew up at the other woman.

"Why are you looking at him like that?" Lily questioned. Eileen looked up at her, glaring. No one else was around and the curtains shielded them from anywhere else.

"He should be dead." Eileen shook her head, glancing back down at Severus. His still features remained unchanging.

"How could you say that? You should be happy that he's alive!" Lily couldn't believe the nerve of her! She just couldn't understand why Eileen didn't value her son's life.

"You filthy mudblood you don't know what you're talking about!" Eileen practically snarled, her unpleasant features becoming distorted and almost cruel looking as she stood up and leaned over her son's motionless body. Her nostrils flared as she gritted her teeth.

"Hey! Calm down or you both will be out of here!" Madam Pomfrey drew back the curtain and fixed them with the look of a mother punishing a child. Eileen's glare softened as she sunk back into the other chair. Lily's green eyes were huge as they began to fill with tears. As soon as Madam Pomfrey was gone, Eileen turned back to Lily and spoke in a quieter voice.

"No mother wants to watch their son suffer. _He should be dead_." Eileen looked back down at Severus before reaching out and gently stroking his cheek with the backs of her fingers. Lily looked shocked at Eileen's words and suddenly her heart ached for the other woman.

So, they sat in silence for a while, once again staring at Severus. Lily resumed her usual task of tracing the scars on his arm and drawing invisibly lines on the palm of his cold hand. She longed to grasp his hand and feel the warmth and life that used to be there. She longed to wrap her arms around him and have him return the gesture. She wanted nothing more than for him to wake up and see that she was here, willing to forgive him and love him.

Lily's thoughts were interrupted by Madam Pomfrey pushing back the pale blue curtains. She made direct eye contact with Lily and motioned for her to stand. Reluctantly, Lily leaned over and pressed her lips gently to Severus' fingers before standing and following Madam Pomfrey out from the curtains.

"What do you need?" Lily asked.

"I just thought that it would be proper to give Mrs. Snape a moment alone with her son." Madam Pomfrey answered quietly. "Besides, Miss Evans, you need to eat! How many meals have you eaten since that poor boy was brought here?"

"Three." Lily muttered. She had been forced to eat two meals on the first day, one on the second day, and she had yet to eat on that day.

"You need to get some food into your body, young lady!" Madam Pomfrey put her hands on her hips and walked to her office. Lily slowly followed, casting a glance back toward the curtain. Once in the office, Lily sat in the chair beside the desk while Madam Pomfrey was in a back room.

On the desk was a folder about three inches thick. The name on the cover of the folder was very clear to Lily. Severus Snape. Curiosity got the better of her and she opened it up to a random page. She pulled out one paper and read:

_**Name**__: Snape, Severus_

_**Age**__: 12_

_**Injuries Sustained**__: arm broken in three places_

_**Description of Incident**__: was tripped by another student, Sirius Black, and fell down a flight of stairs_

Gasping, she couldn't believe what she had read. Severus had never told her about that incident! She never even noticed him having a broken arm when he was twelve. With tears filling her eyes, Lily put the paper back and reached for another one peaking out.

_**Name**__: Snape, Severus_

_**Age**__: 14 _

_**Injuries Sustained**__: concussion_

_**Description of Incident**__: Hit head on the wall after being hexed and thrown backwards. Note: spell casted by James Potter_

Lily wiped her eyes and quickly shoved the paper back into the folder as she heard Madam Pomfrey coming out from the back room. She was carrying a tray of sandwiches and a couple of goblets of pumpkin juice. She spotted Lily closing the file and she smirked slightly.

"The poor boy has a bigger record than anyone else in the school. All because of Potter and Black. And of course his house mates. He used to always tell me the only person he could trust was you, until last year." Madam Pomfrey set the tray down and handed a goblet to Lily. She sipped it and took one of the sandwiches in her hand.

"I was so angry at him." was the only response Lily could come up with. Madam Pomfrey sat down on the other side of the desk.

"Yes, I know. But do you know why he called you that horrible name?" Madam Pomfrey questioned. Lily had learned the last few days that Severus had often confided in Madam Pomfrey.

"Because his awful friends are bad influences." Lily grumbled as she bit in the sandwich, suddenly realizing how hungry she was.

"That may have been part of it, but the real reason had a lot more to do with you. He called you that horrid name because he saw you smile. He was hurt by the fact that you found his suffering funny." Madam Pomfrey said.

"But I didn't! I thought it was horrible and he just called me that awful name just like his old friends and his mother!" Lily was suddenly crying once again.

"Lily, it's alright. It was a while ago now. Things are going to be better when he wakes up." Madam Pomfrey told her. Lily wiped her eyes and took another sip of juice from her goblet.

"If you don't mind, I'm going back." she said as she stood. Madam Pomfrey opened her mouth as though she were going to protest, but decided against it. She waved her hand as if to dismiss Lily.

Lily left Madam Pomfrey in the office. She couldn't stop thinking about the file that she had seen on the desk. All those papers were incidents where Severus had been injured. Her heart ached once more, realizing that he wasn't even safe at the one place he called home. Sighing, Lily went over to the curtain and pulled it back, gasping at the sight that she saw.

Eileen was standing above her son, with a knife in her hand. Lily let out a high pitched scream and Eileen looked at her, wide-eyed. She made a move like she was going to drive the knife into Severus' chest, but Lily reacted quickly. She pulled out her wand.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Lily cried the only spell she could think of at the moment. Eileen instantly froze; her arm poised in mid-air above Severus.

"What the devil?" Madam Pomfrey came up behind Lily and saw Eileen, now frozen like a statue, standing above Severus. "Oh, dear lord." she rushed past Lily and pulled Eileen's body away.

"She said that he should be dead, but I never thought she'd try something like this!" Lily rushed over to her designated spot beside Severus. She grasped his hand and hovered over him somewhat protectively as Madam Pomfrey removed the knife from Eileen's hand.

"Mrs. Snape has been depressed. Anyone would be able to tell." Madam Pomfrey shook her head, seemingly unaware of the fact that the woman had just tried to stab her own son.

"Oh, Sev…" Lily leaned over and draped her arm over Severus, lightly hugging him. Madam Pomfrey pulled out her wand and used it to hover Eileen into the air and bring her through the curtains. Lily sat down beside Severus, vowing she wouldn't leave again.

Making sure the curtains were closed, Lily did something she never thought she'd do. She climbed into the bed beside Severus and laid on her side. She curved her body to fit alongside his and she rested her head next to his. Her nose was buried in his silky black hair and her eyes fluttered closed.

XXXXXX

Albus once again allowed a smile to grace his face. He was no doubt happy that they had found the boy, but he was still slightly troubled. Besides what Mad-Eye had claimed was said by young Mr. Mulciber, no one really knew the full account of the events that happened. He had the intent to question Severus as soon as the boy was well enough.

For now, all he had to go on for clues was the note that he found. He had made a list of everyone he knew with the initials N.M. He then crossed off staff and former staff, students, muggles, and Order of the Phoenix members. Then he went through the list and thought about who and what each of the remaining people were connected to. One of the names near the bottom somehow stood out to him. Narcissa Malfoy. Formerly Narcissa Black. She had been in Slytherin during her time at Hogwarts and married Lucius Malfoy. She had graduated the year before and it was rumored that she and her husband both were followers of Lord Voldemort. Albus distinctly remembered that she always had a soft spot for Severus during his first couple of years at Hogwarts and thought him to be like a brother to her. Narcissa would've tried to save him if she had been present during the time of his death.

He questioned how he was going to approach this problem. He didn't want to contact Narcissa until he was certain of her involvement, but he couldn't be certain until the boy woke and who knew how long that could take. Albus sighed, knowing he would just have to wait.

XXXXXX

"Lily…" a voice whispered in her ear. She groaned and stretched her arms out. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to wake up. "Lily…"

"Hmmm….Sev…" she sighed, burying her nose into his hair and stretching her arm out over his chest.

"I'm definitely not Sev." the voice of Remus Lupin said rather loudly in her ear. This startled her and she shot up, nearly falling out of the bed. Luckily, Remus reached forward and supported her so that she didn't fall. "I must say that this was an interesting sight when I came in here." Remus motioned to Severus next to her, still asleep.

Lily looked up at him, blushing slightly. She had slept with Severus! She giggled to herself at the thought. When they were younger, she had just thought that his thin form and his pale skin were just what made him Severus. She never thought that she'd ever think he was attractive. But did she really? She loved him, that much she knew. She couldn't help be won over by the fact he had nearly gotten himself killed by trying to please her. He had never been nasty to her, save for the Incident, and it was clear he loved her. So, there was no doubt about it, Lily loved Severus.

"I was tired and I wanted to be close to him." Lily offered up. Remus smirked, but accepted her answer.

"Any progress?" Remus asked.

"Not really." Lily swung her legs off the bed and stood up. "Is it really morning?" Lily questioned, looking out the windows and seeing the sun shining down on them from the east.

"Yeah, I just had breakfast and decided to check on you before I went to Defense. You know, Lily, I'm really concerned about you. You're falling behind in all your classes. These are N.E.W.T. level courses; you can't afford to fall behind." Remus told her.

"I'm no more behind than Sev is. When he wakes up we can work together." Lily said, looking back down at Severus and slowly stroking his cheek. The natural color of his skin was slowly returning. It appeared as though Madam Pomfrey had returned the night before and removed the bandages on his hands and legs. His bones had healed fully and quickly, thanks to a few spells and potions.

"Well, I heard the teachers talking and they're really worried about a lot of things. McGonagall and Slughorn were talking last night about how they are worried that getting off the grounds is as easy as summoning a Portkey. They can't believe anyone hadn't thought to ward the school against the use of Portkeys." Remus informed her. Few students had witnessed up close the day that Severus had been taken from the grounds to be handed over to Lord Voldemort by the people he had called his friends.

"If people weren't so stupid and senseless, Sev might still be ok." Lily sighed. The two of them sat in silence for a few moments, Remus staring at Lily and Lily staring at Severus. Finally, Remus stood and collected his bag.

"I should be getting to class. Hope he's ok." Remus shrugged and left. Lily smiled after him and shifted off the bed and into the chair Remus was just occupying. After a few 

moments of sitting in silence, there was a rustle in the curtains. They parted to reveal a blonde Hufflepuff girl. She appeared to be a second year.

"Hi." Lily looked at the girl questioningly. The girl's wide eyes were glued to Severus. "Who are you?" Lily asked, trying not to sound rude but finding her tone of voice less than pleasant.

"Tarin Archer." the girl told her as she stared at Severus with an almost frightened expression on her face. "He hurt me…the day that he was taken away."

"Oh…it was you that they…" Lily trailed off, examining the girl. She remembered the girl's screams echoing out throughout the grounds of Hogwarts, but Lily was only concerned for Severus that day.

"I just wanted to see…how he looked." Tarin glanced back and forth between Lily and Severus.

"Well here he is." Lily waved a hand at Severus. Tarin just nodded.

"I just wanted to tell you, that I heard the conversation before they made him hurt me." Tarin said. This sparked Lily's interest. "They told him that there was no place in the world for traitors like himself, and that they knew he was trying to betray them for the sake of staying friends with mu- people like us. They wouldn't let him say anything, and told him that if he didn't want to die, then he'd torture me." the girl told Lily.

"I…I don't know what to say." were the only words that came out of Lily's mouth. Tarin gave her a small smile.

"I don't blame him, by the way. No one does. Most people feel really bad about not giving him a chance. When he wakes up, I think he'll have a lot of friends." Tarin said before turning and leaving. Lily just stared at the blue curtains the young Hufflepuff had passed through. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. After a few moments, Lily moved to sit on the bed next to Severus again.

"Did you hear that, Sev? You're going to have a lot of friends. People care about you. _I _care about you." She shifted so that she was leaning over his face. She could fell his warm, steady breath tickle her cheeks. "I love you." she whispered.

Just then, his dark eyelashes fluttered. His lips parted and sucked in a deep breath as his body tensed. She felt a slight shift on the bed and his eyelids slowly opened, revealing his black eyes. She couldn't believe what was happening as he looked up at her. He blinked a couple times before trying to speak.

"Lily…" he barely got out, his voice dry and raspy from not being used. When she heard her name roll of his lips, she grinned and couldn't stop herself from grabbing the sides of his face and bringing her lips to his in a gentle kiss. After a few seconds, she felt his 

hands on her shoulders, trying to push her away. She pulled away from him abruptly and he laid there with wide, frightened eyes. He scrambled away from her and lay there, whimpering.

"Did I hear what I just thought I heard?" Madam Pomfrey opened the curtains and was overjoyed to see a very awake Severus. He was pinned up against the wall, tears falling from his wide eyes as he shook violently. He looked anywhere but directly at them. Lily was standing beside the bed now, looking equally as frightened. The blanket was completely off of him now, revealing his pale chest and abdomen and a pair of pajama bottoms.

"Say something to comfort him." Madam Pomfrey told her as she rushed to find something to cover his top half.

"Sev, it's me! It's Lily, your friend." Lily tried to hide the catch in her voice as she reached for one of Severus' hands. He let out an agonized cry as she grasped his hand and gently stroked the back of it. "Sev, are you alright? Are you hurting?" Lily asked as Madam Pomfrey found the button up green shirt that went with the pajama bottoms. Lily had bought them for him the year before, and she found them in his trunk.

"N-n-no." Severus managed to say as his shaking was reduced to a few quivering muscles. He realized that she wouldn't hurt him. His eyes glanced at the empty space next to him.

"Do you want me to sit next to you?" Lily questioned, her heart splitting apart at seeing her dark, serious friend reduced to this. Severus nodded quickly. She sat next to him and he crawled over to her, pressing his body against her as he cried silently. Lily took the shirt from Madam Pomfrey and pulled one of his arms through it and then worked on getting his other through it. She pulled it around and began buttoning it.

"Lily…" Severus muttered as he rolled himself into a ball with his head on her lap. Shocked, Lily began to stroke his hair. Madam Pomfrey looked at the cowering boy with a look of pity on her face. They both knew he was still in pain, but he wouldn't admit it, not even in this weak state.

"It's alright Sev. You are safe now, and no one can hurt you." Lily whispered to him as Madam Pomfrey left to get some potions to make him more comfortable.

* * *

**there you go! Hope you guys enjoyed. Please review and feed the bunnies!**


	9. Answers

Nope, I don't own them. They belong to Jo.

* * *

Severus was afraid. Every move that anybody made had him nearly jumping ten feet in the air. Each time he nearly jumped, his entire body would start to shake. He would then look around to make sure that Lily was near him. She had promised she would protect him, and he accepted her words.

But just because he was afraid, he wasn't stopped from wondering. Why was Lily acting like his friend again? Who were all these people and _what_ on earth did they want from him? Why were there Aurors crowding the hospital wing? Why wouldn't anyone tell him what was going on? _What _had happened?

Lily sat by his side, holding his hand as people shuffled in and out of the room. The curtains had been pulled away from the bed, revealing him to everyone. He felt vulnerable in his fuzzy green pajamas lying in the middle of the large room. Everyone seemed bigger than him at that moment, and that only served to fuel his fear. He thought about grabbing his wand and hexing them all, just to get them out. Then he remembered what had happened. The memories flashed through his mind quickly.

_Crunch!_ _Voldemort stepped back and bent over. He picked up Severus' wand, which was now broken in two pieces. "Oh, too bad."_

Severus' whole body became tense instantly. The aftermath of the Cruciatus curse flowed through his veins. He groaned loudly as he screwed his eyes shut and inched closer to where Lily sat beside him.

"Sev, are you alright?" Lily asked him. Her words seemed so distance as he felt tears burning as they slid down his cheeks. "Severus, look at me!" Lily's hands were on his arms, shaking him. He tensed further, and he heard his own voice crying out uncontrollably.

"Lily…help…it hurts…" he managed to say. It didn't really hurt, but something in his mind kept telling him that he was in pain. He felt like screaming out in agony. It seemed as though every breath he took hurt so much that he couldn't take another. He was sobbing, tears pouring from his eyes as he kept them closed, afraid he would see Voldemort standing above him or see himself covered in his own blood.

"Severus! Open your eyes! Look at me, Sev! You're safe. You're in the hospital wing at Hogwarts! Severus, look!" Lily was on the verge of tears as she tried to pull him closer to her. The Aurors in the room began to crowd around, but Madam Pomfrey closed the curtains and came up with a potion in hand. She tried to get near the thrashing boy, but when she placed her hand on the bed, Severus seemed to jump closer to Lily. Lily shot the nurse a glare, and Madam Pomfrey knew that she was only making things worse by being there. The boy was traumatized and needed the help of someone very close to him.

"Sev, please…please look at me…" Lily pleaded. She felt his still tense body stop convulsing in her arms. He was now trembling harshly, and his cries were reduced to whimpers. "Severus, if you look at me I'll give you something to make it stop hurting."

Slowly, he moved closer to her. His entire upper body was resting in her lap. His hands were balled into fists, grasping the hem of her shirt. He turned his head up towards her and his eyes opened gradually. The dark orbs glistened with tears as they stared up at her. He was trembling still as she sighed, holding him to her. She pushed back a lock of raven hair that was stuck to the corner of his mouth. Madam Pomfrey was standing a couple feet away with the potion clutched in her hands.

"Sev, Madam Pomfrey has the potion. She's going to step closer to us so she can hand it to me, alright?" Lily spoke softly, stroking his pale and still slightly bruised cheeks with her thumb. Nodding, he turned away and rested his head against her thigh, an action that made her blush terribly.

Lily motioned for the small bottle of potion, and Madam Pomfrey walked forward to hand the potion to Lily. Lily uncorked the bottle and briefly smelled it. She looked questioningly at Madam Pomfrey.

"Will it put him to sleep?" Lily asked. Madam Pomfrey shook her head. As much as the poor boy could do with some sleep right now, last night had kept half the castle awake as he thrashed around in the bed screaming from the nightmares he was having. But Professor Slughorn was in the dungeons brewing a cauldron of Sleeping Potion at that very moment.

Satisfied with the nod, Lily held the vial up to Severus' trembling lips. His eyes were closed again as he swallowed the liquid. She continued to stroke his hair as he stopped trembling and his breathing returned to normal. After a few moments, he looked up her, the fear in his eyes still present.

"Thank you…" he whispered as he pulled away from her enough that he was lying back on the bed propped up against a stack of pillows. Lily still sat close to him, grasping his hand in hers as the liquid of the potion ran through his veins. She had no idea what was happening to him. She didn't know what happened to him when he was taken, and she didn't know how dark magic effected people. At this point, she was beginning to feel just as helpless as he was.

"Sev, do you want to talk?" she questioned softly, taking his hand in both of hers and resting it in her lap.

"How did you find these pajamas?" was the first question that popped into his mind. She couldn't help but smile a little.

"I found them in your trunk, Sev. When I was looking for something for you to wear. Believe it or not, when I first came in here Madam Pomfrey had you down to your knickers. I didn't think much other that it seemed a bit degrading, so I asked Professor Dumbledore for the password to the guest room you were staying in. I searched through your trunk and found them." Lily told him, feeling her cheeks being to burn a little.

"Oh." he nodded slightly, his eyes narrowing.

"I dressed you, by the way." Lily felt her eyes widen. Her cheeks felt as though they were on fire. Severus' own face had a bit of color to it as he visibly gulped. Lily felt a rush of humiliation. _Why did I say that?_ Feeling the need for an explanation, she spoke again. "We couldn't do it with magic because of the bandages." she told him.

Severus just nodded. His eyes widened at the thought of her seeing him nearly naked on the bed. He glanced over to see her cheeks nearly matching the red of her hair. Suddenly, despite his own embarrassment, another question popped into his mind. Before he could speak, Lily had noticed the somewhat troubled expression on his face.

"Is there something else, Sev?" she asked gently, the color slowly disappearing from her cheeks. He looked over at her, his lips pulled tight into a straight line. After a few moments, he nodded.

"Why?" he asked. She looked puzzled.

"Why what?"

"Why are you here?" he asked her. She noticed that his voice seemed to lack the pleading, scared quality it held moments ago. He was more like the Severus that she knew. Or rather, the Severus she had observed from a distance that hurt innocent first years. His tone was rather cold and unforgiving, but she didn't take offense. She grasped his hand firmer in hers and smiled at him slightly.

"I am here because I am sorry for not accepting your apologies. I am here because Dumbledore told me everything. He told me why you were trying to get away from them." Lily told him. She smiled as he looked slightly horrified at her words. She realized that the potion he had been giving must've been a calming draught of some kind. The noise outside the curtains had resumed, and he seemed to be acting alright.

"You…kn-know?" were the only words that Severus could say as he stared at her. The conversation with the headmaster had seemed like so long ago, but he remembered very clearly what was discussed that day. He had confessed his hearts deepest hidden secret. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with regret. He had told Dumbledore not to tell anyone! The old man had broken his trust! And wasn't he going to try to protect him? Didn't Dumbledore promise to protect him? He was brought back from his train of thought by Lily squeezing his hand gently.

"Yes, Sev, I know." she stared into his eyes. She was smiling sweetly as she noticed the troubled expression on his face.

"A-and…" he trailed off, not really knowing what he wanted her to say. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to hear her answer.

"It's alright, Sev." she said. "It just…it just made me feel really bad. I mean, all the time I didn't even listen to what you said, or didn't even think about how much what I was doing hurt you. It must've been awful seeing me with James." Lily told him. She felt tears beginning to form. He just stared at her with wide, vacant eyes. For a while, he seemed to be thinking. Eventually, he spoke softly and quietly.

"You have no idea." he looked away from her. She looked away as well, suddenly feeling awful. "But it's ok. I only ever wanted you to be happy. And you seemed so happy with him. I just accepted it." Severus added quickly. It was far from the truth. He had been angry. He hated it and if James had gotten close enough, Severus might've killed James. But, he knew that would only drive Lily farther away so he didn't. Instead, he retreated farther into the companionship of his fellow Slytherins. The ones that had turned on him.

Suddenly, the calming draught seemed to be losing its effect. He remembered Avery's arm wrapped tightly around his throat, choking him. Then he remembered being thrown through the air and landing on the hard ground, right at the feet of the Dark Lord himself. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying not to over react. He had embarrassed himself last time.

But his mind was plagued once more with images of Voldemort's piercing red eyes and sadistic grin. His heart raced as he remembered the pain that instantly hit him. As soon as he had hit the ground, he was hit with an excruciatingly painful bout of the Cruciatus curse. He cringed at the memory of how the curse had raced through his veins and delivered pain to nearly every molecule in his body. Lily was calling his name, but once again her voice seemed so distant. He wanted to reach out to her, to be close to her as she held him, but he couldn't. Every move simply _hurt_.

Groaning, Severus tilted his head back and ground his teeth together. He squeezed his eyes together and let out a suppressed cry. He was fisting the sheets with his free hand.

_Voldemort was standing over him, his wand poised in the air above him waiting for another spell to be cast. _

He heard commotion around him once more. People were surrounding him. It frightened him.

_More and more Death Eaters circled him like vultures. All were masked from view, but they all had the same cackling laughter as they threw hex after hex at him. _

He thrashed in the bed and felt hands starting to hold him down. He was yelling now, and he knew it. Well, it was more like screaming and nearly at the top of his lungs. Lily 

was sobbing by his side, trying to get him to calm down. He held her hand in a vice grip, not wanting to let her go as the people - who were those blasted people – pushed her away from him.

"Grab him!" he heard someone yell. He was still screaming, his mouth wide open. _Why was he screaming?_ He tried to stop, tried to calm down. Nothing was working.

"NO! No you'll hurt him! STOP!" Lily was screaming almost as loudly as he was. She was farther away now, and their hands had been forced apart. He kicked his legs and flailed his arms, trying to get the people away. Now, he had nearly forgotten of the pain and just wanted them to go away. There were too many bloody people!

Lily was screaming for them to stop again, and he couldn't tell what they were supposed to be stopping. They didn't seem to be doing anything other than surrounding him. Then he heard a rough male voice.

"Grab his head!" and then two big hands grabbed either side of his head to keep him from moving.

"_Imperio!" a voice yelled out. He thought it sounded strangely like Lucius Malfoy's, but he couldn't be sure. Then, he felt a strange sensation of being filled with another being. He could still sense everything around him, but he couldn't do anything. Someone had forced him aside in his own body and took over. Slowly, he felt himself rising to his feet and walking over to a tree. Many people laughed as he began banging his head as hard as he could against the tree. Inside of his mind, he cried at the pain that he felt. But outside, he merely looked at the tree and kept hitting himself against it until there was nothing but darkness. _

"Please let him go!" Lily was crying. "Can't you see you're scaring him? You're only making it worse!"

Severus thrashed his body, trying to move his head. His eyes were wide open now and he could see the people around him. The man's hands were positioned to keep his mouth open and he saw another man that looked oddly familiar standing above him. There was a rather large looking vial in his hand.

"Please Professor Slughorn, don't! We won't be able to wake him up if you do that! Please…" Lily's sobbing voice was drowned out as Professor Slughorn leaned over Severus and poured the vial of horrible tasting liquid down his throat. A burning sensation coursed through Severus' body and his eyes were drawn closed once more. His yelling and thrashing was stopped immediately and he fell limp on the bed. The group of Aurors moved away. Lily rushed up to Severus' side and pulled the blanket over him as he slumbered away in his potion induced sleep.

"Miss Evans, I'm so sorry. I couldn't stop them. They think they know how to handle the effects of the Cruciatus curse better than a trained healer!" Madam Pomfrey entered through the now closed curtains. She raised her voice a little on the last part, but stepped closer to Severus' side. "He won't be able to handle it. They should've only given him a little bit. The curse will try and take over his mind if he sleeps for too long." she shook her head.

"They gave him a lot! What if the curse does make him mental?" Lily was still crying.

"Then Professor Dumbledore is a skilled Legilimens. I have already spoken to him about this. Severus will need it no matter what." Madam Pomfrey unconsciously reached out and pulled a stray piece of hair away from Severus' cheek.

"What? Need what?" Lily questioned.

"Evidence suggests that the Cruciatus was used on him many times. In order to fully heal, Severus needs to find himself. He needs to pull away from the memories and stop _feeling_ the pain and shock of the torture, but rather _embrace_ it. That is the best way to describe it." Madam Pomfrey explained. Lily still didn't understand it, but she made no attempt to. She didn't even know what the bloody hell Legilimency was!

Shaking her head, Lily turned back to the now sleeping Severus. As stressful as it was on all of them when he was awake, Lily preferred him that way. Sighing, she looked over her shoulder. Professor McGonagall was standing in a small opening in the curtains.

"Hello Professor." Lily said quietly. Professor McGonagall had not visited before, like most of the other teachers had. Transfiguration had never been Severus' best subject, but he was adequate at it.

"Good afternoon, Miss Evans." Professor McGonagall said. She folded her hands in front of her and observed the sleeping Slytherin boy on the bed. "How is he?"

"Not so good. Madam Pomfrey says that the effects of the Cruciatus curse are starting to show. Professor Slughorn gave him a full vial of sleeping potion." Lily sighed.

"I'm sorry to hear that he's not well. But, actually, I was here to see you." Professor McGonagall sighed. Lily smirked, knowing that her head of house would only be there to show concern for one of her precious cubs, and not show much interest in the Slytherin next to her.

"Why?" Lily found herself saying somewhat bitterly. She tried not to glare at the Professor but she couldn't stop herself from voicing her disapproval of McGonagall's lack of interest in Severus' well being.

"Mr. Lupin approached me yesterday and told me he was worried that you are falling behind in you studies. I have spoken to other teachers and they inform me that you haven't been to any classes for days! You haven't completed any assignments, either. You must understand that your N.E.W.T. level courses are very important." McGonagall told her. Lily just rolled her eyes.

"I'm no more behind than Sev is. We can catch up together." Lily declared. McGonagall sighed, contemplating ordering the girl to leave the hospital wing and return to her classes. Instead, she settled for a much less drastic order.

"Miss Evans, perhaps you should at least return to your dormitory for a decent night's sleep. Your friends are wishing to see you." McGonagall told her. Lily sighed, knowing that the professor was right. Mary and Joanna hadn't visited her since Severus had first been found. Remus hadn't visited since two days ago before Severus first woke up. She didn't look forward to seeing James, but she would have to face them all soon. Besides, Severus wouldn't wake up at least for twelve hours.

"Alright." Lily stood up and looked down at Severus. With a satisfied smile, Professor McGonagall turned and left through the privacy curtains. Lily turned back to Severus and leaned over him before gently pressing her lips to his forehead. "I love you, Sev." she whispered. She turned and left his side.

XXXXXX

The Gryffindor common room was busy as Lily entered it. As she walked in, silence fell over the room. People were shocked at seeing her for the first time in nearly a week. It was now October and most people had gotten used to Lily being absent from the common room. When people got over the near shock of seeing her enter, the first person to approach her was Remus. He walked over to her and made a motion like he was going to hug her. He paused before he did, but she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him.

"How are you?" he asked as they separated. She was smiling, a sight he hadn't seen in a while.

"Good. Did you hear that Severus woke up?" Lily asked him. At this, there was a buzz in the common room.

"No, I didn't. That's great!" he said, more just because he was happy that she was happy than anything else.

"Yeah, he's ok. He took a sleeping potion, so I decided to come up here and see everyone." Lily told him. He smiled at her and steered her over to the couch beside the fireplace. A third year came over to them and stood in front of Lily.

"So what really happened to Snape? Everyone's been wondering." he told her. Lily just looked up at him, not expecting anyone to really care about Severus.

"Um...I don't really know what happened to him. He…uh…he hasn't really told us much." Lily shrugged, finding it was somewhat of a weak point and she didn't really feel like talking about it.

"Oh." the third year looked somewhat disappointed. Then he shrugged and walked away. Remus chuckled beside her as he leaned back and casually rested his arm behind her on the back of the couch. Lily felt herself tense up as her friend made such a casual gesture. Remus thought nothing of it.

"Hey what's all the commotion in here?" an unwanted voice echoed throughout the once again silent common room. Everyone looked up at the staircase that led to the dormitories to see James coming down. He surveyed the common room and spotted Lily. His trademark smile faded for an instant, but came back. He strode over to the couch and plopped down next to Lily.

"Hey Lils. How's dear old Snivelly doing these days?" James said, grinning. Not even a moment later, the sound of Lily's palm connecting with the skin on James' cheek seemed to echo throughout the common room. Lily stood up and glared angrily at James. Remus looked somewhat shocked, as though he hadn't expected James to enter and be so forward.

"How many times do I have to tell you to _stop calling him that horrible name_?" Lily ground out.

"Oh, you can tell me all you want, Lily dearest. But will I listen? Probably not. I will call that slimy, greasy git _Snivellus_ until the end of time!" James stood up and glared at Lily, who was nearly crying once more.

"Why do you have to be so mean to him? Can't you just think about someone's feelings other than your own?" Lily cried out. Remus stood and moved to Lily's side, placing a comforting arm on her shoulder.

"James…" Remus trailed off, shooting his friend a warning glare. James shook his head and kept up a glare of his own.

"No, Remus I want to answer her questions. I don't _have_ to be mean to him. I _enjoy_ it! It gives me a way to deal with my problems in life. And I do think of someone's feeling other than my own. I think about how horrible you must have felt after you broke up with me." James raised his voice slightly.

"You are a horrible, selfish, arrogant bastard! You don't know half of what Severus has been through! You don't know anything! All you ever do is try and make his life even worse than it already is!" Lily tried to contain her tears as she defended Severus.

"Oh, the slime ball has no friends, so you feel sorry for him? You may be pretty, but you're awfully stupid. Your biggest weakness is finding the best in people like _him_. Unfortunately, Lily, that's a lost cause because there is not 'best' in greasy old Snivelly." James sneered.

"You don't know anything! You didn't see him bruised and battered from nearly being killed! You don't have to sit by his side while he screamed from the pain and the memories of being tortured by the Cruciatus! _You_ didn't have to walk in on his _own_ _mother_ holding a knife over his chest while he slept because she didn't think her own son deserved life! You think you are so special because your mummy and daddy treat you to everything you want and you think you have so many friends! You're wrong, Potter! I thought I loved you once, because I thought you changed! But you're just as arrogant and selfish as you were before!" Lily was crying and yelling at the same time. Remus just stood there looking from Lily to James, not sure what to do.

"Trying to make me feel sorry for the git? It won't work. I'll never feel sorry for him." James ground out.

"You insensitive bastard!" Lily reached out and slapped him hard before turning and running out the common room, leaving everyone in Gryffindor staring at James.

"What?" James snarled at a group of first years staring at him. They jumped back at the glare worthy of Severus himself. James stalked off up to the boy's dormitory.

XXXXXX

Lily ran all the way down to the hospital wing on the first floor. By the time she got there, she was utterly exhausted. She hadn't had the energy to run that much to begin with and she had been planning on staying the night in Gryffindor tower and eating in the Great Hall in the morning. But of course James Potter ruined it. And now, she was running back over to the private, curtain covered bed of her beloved Severus, who at the moment was blissfully unaware of the horrid bout of insulting and name calling that had just went on. Somehow Lily imagined being called names didn't compare to the pain he had endured during his week of torture.

With a sigh, Lily returned to Severus' side. She gently nudged his warm body over as she crawled into the bed next to him. She rested her head on his chest and splayed her hand out on his thin abdomen. He had eaten nothing the whole time he had been asleep and probably during the week before as well. Madam Pomfrey had told her that before he could return to normal meals, he had to take several rounds of nutrient replenishing potions. _Poor Sev_. Lily closed her eyes, slightly comforted by the steady rise and fall of his chest, and silently cried herself to sleep.

* * *

**So, this chapter was unbelievably hard to write. I hope you guys thought the way I portrayed the effects of the Cruciatus curse, and if you don't understand it quite yet, you will. Anyway, feed the bunnies with reviews please! Thanks to Black Wolf-Dog as always for her lovely motivational skills...**


	10. The Telling

Nope, not mine. They all belong to Jo.

* * *

Narcissa sat in the sitting room of Malfoy Manor. She was sipping a cup of tea as she stared out the window into the rainy courtyard. Life had been dreadfully depressing for her after the Dark Lord had ordered her to kill Severus. Before she had done so, she had thought of all the ways she could supposedly kill him, but not actually. In the end, she could think of none and killed him out of mercy. When the Dark Lord had been wondering what to do with the body of the traitorous boy, Narcissa had pleaded with him to let her bury him. But she didn't bury him. Instead, she found the boy somehow still had a pulse.

While Lucius was at work in the Ministry, she had raided the store of potions in Lucius' private stores and found one she was looking for. She forced it down the boy's throat, hoping it would keep him alive. She had then gone through the Vanishing Cabinet in Borgin & Burkes to get into the Room of Requirement at Hogwarts. The boy belonged there, where people could care for him. She knew that someone would find him eventually. She had scribbled the note with the riddle on it and owled it straight to Dumbledore.

Now, she was waiting. When they found the boy, he would no doubt tell them she had cast the Killing Curse. But the note she left by his side might be enough to show them she had tried to save him. She had nearly risked her life to get the kid to Hogwarts. If the Dark Lord ever found out it was she who had kept him alive, she would be branded a traitor and Lucius would never look at her again.

She hoped what she did was enough. Severus still had a place in her heart. The boy had captivated her with his magical abilities and his thirst to prove himself. She had been a fourth year when he first came to Hogwarts. When he had been sorted into Slytherin, she had offered him a place to sit next to her. He never was a cute child, nor was he all that great looking when he started to grow. But every time she looked into his glistening black eyes, she felt a shiver through her spine. Something about him had captivated her since the first time their eyes locked.

Narcissa remembered once, during her last year of Hogwarts before she had been engaged to Lucius, she had lured Severus into a broom cupboard between classes. It was common knowledge that he had eyes for the red-headed mudblood, but he accepted her invitation. It had been his fifteenth birthday gift, she declared. It hadn't taken long to get over with, but she made sure that he was treated to a very satisfying snog session before it was done. Unfortunately, somehow Lucius had found out and given the poor boy a black eye and a split lip.

Chuckling, she remembered that he had not looked at her for the rest of the year. Sighing, she wondered once more if he was alive and in the care of the mudblood he so very longed for. She didn't mind mudbloods very much, either. So, it wasn't that big of deal to her that he loved the girl. Narcissa just wanted her Severus to be safe.

XXXXXX

Three days. It had been three days since Severus had woken up and proven to the world that he was still alive. But that was not enough for Albus. He needed to speak to the boy. The Aurors and the Ministry were growing impatient, demanding he write a detailed account of what happened to the boy and deliver it to them soon. Tomorrow, to be exact.

He simply refused to enter the boy's jumbled and confused mind. Not yet. The first step to the healing process was getting him to tell them what happened. Once that happened, Albus could begin using Legilimency to assist the boy in finding himself once again. There was also another problem as well. Miss Evans. She would no doubt wish to hear what had happened to the boy she had focused all her attention on for the last couple of weeks.

Albus shook his head. Miss Evans was far too caring to let Severus begin the healing on his own. She hadn't left his side and became extremely possessive of him whenever someone else was near him. That could be an obstacle as well.

And Narcissa Malfoy was another matter. Severus would no doubt try and defend her. Albus was well aware of the close relationship between the two of them. Once Severus was made aware she had tried to save him, he would claim that was enough to keep her out of Azkaban. Either that or he would not tell them it was Narcissa at all.

That would be a problem. Albus briefly thought of ways to overcome the problem of the boy lying about the story as he tells it. Severus was not always known for his honesty, and there was no doubt the traumatized boy would lie about parts of it. Of course he would lie about the parts that humiliated him, or might embarrass him.

No, that could not happen. The Aurors ordered him to get every detail from the boy. They needed a full account of the event if there was hope of capturing the young Death Eaters who had disappeared from Hogwarts to deliver their classmate to Voldemort. The only way to ensure that he told the truth the entire time was if he had taken Veritaserum.

With a sigh, Albus stood. He had to have it with him as a precaution. He walked over to the fireplace and through a handful of floo powder into it. He kneeled and placed his head into the fire, muttering "Horace Slughorn's office". Slughorn was present, as it was his morning free period.

"Horace, I need a bit of Veritaserum. Do you have any to spare?" Albus asked. Slughorn looked at the headmaster questioningly before going to the shelf behind the desk. He rummaged around for a few moments before producing a tiny vial.

"Right here, Headmaster." Slughorn held it up.

"Alright. Please bring it to the Hospital Wing in a few moments. Oh, and on your way, would you mind waking Alastor? He may wish to be there." Albus said. Before Slughorn could comment, Dumbledore disappeared for the fire.

XXXXXX

"No! No you will not!" Lily awoke to Madam Pomfrey's voice echoing in the otherwise silent hospital wing. With a yawn, she sat up and stretched. Suddenly, she felt somewhat cold. Looking down, she realized just how comfortable she had been sleeping with Severus. She felt herself blushing deeply at the thought. She found that he was staring up at her, awake.

"Hey." she smiled. He returned the smile. She realized that his arm had been around her, hugging her to him as she slept. "When did you wake up?" she asked.

"When they first started arguing." he stared up at her through half closed, sleepy eyes. "How long was I out?" he asked.

"I don't know. I came in here and fell asleep about an hour after you fell asleep." she told him. Memories of her time in the common room flooded back to her. All the horrible things that James had said about her and Severus resurfaced in her mind. But, she didn't say anything, not needing that to be on his list of problems.

"You will not do that!" Madam Pomfrey shrieked.

"The Ministry approves! He will lie, we know it!" Mad-Eye Moody was saying.

"I will not allow it! That poor boy was traumatized! He does not need to relive it so soon!" Madam Pomfrey told them.

Severus looked up at Lily, knowing they were talking about him. She reached for his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. Before he woke up, she had spent many hours studying his fingers. She found that she quite liked the soft, pale skin of his hands. The many times she had gently held his long, thin fingers in her hands she had grown quite fond of them.

"What are they talking about, Lily?" Severus wondered, fear glinting in his eyes for a brief second.

"I don't know." Lily glanced at the closed curtains. The discussion had been reduced to muffled mumblings from the people who stood outside.

"Whatever happened to you and Potter?" Severus asked her suddenly. She looked troubled for a moment before answering.

"I broke up with him. He said that you were a horrible person and didn't deserve life, so I told him we were over. That was before you were found." Lily told him. He narrowed his eyes for a moment and she looked away once more. She heard a rustling on the other side of the curtains and could see the outline of figures directly on the other side.

"Lily?" Severus' voice pulled her attention back toward him.

"Yes?" she shifted so that she was lying on her side next to him. He gulped slightly and looked down at their now entwined fingers. "Sev?" she tilted her head, trying to look into his eyes.

"I love you." he mumbled. Lily couldn't help but grin as he spoke the words. Of course she had known, but Severus was not the type to openly admit to such feelings. In all the times James had told her those same words, they had not affected her like they did coming from Severus.

"I love you too, Sev." She replied quietly. He looked up at her, a look of shock on his face. Lily got no time to explain any reasoning, for not even a split second after her confession, the privacy curtains were wretched open, revealing them to the rest of the world. Severus jumped and scrambled closer to Lily.

"Good morning Severus, Miss Evans." Dumbledore greeted them. Madam Pomfrey stood there shaking her head as Dumbledore, Professor Slughorn, and a man that Lily recognized as Alastor Moody, an Auror walked towards the bed.

"Good morning Professor." Lily sat up and gently pushed Severus away from her. She felt a small blush creeping into her cheeks at being caught lying so close to Severus by the Headmaster.

"We need to ask Severus a few questions." Dumbledore moved closer to the other side of Severus, who was glaring and looking frightened at the same time. Before anyone could say anything more, the doors of the hospital wing were pushed open so hard the hit the walls with a loud bang. Eileen was standing there, breathing heavily as she scoped the room.

"Why didn't anyone tell me he was awake?" she questioned as her eyes locked with her son's identical black ones. Severus was now trembling, obviously not wanted to deal with his mother. Eileen all but ran over to the bed where Severus inched closer to Lily. She launched herself at her son and wrapped her arms around him. He let out an awkward squeak and tried to push her off with trembling hands.

"Mum…" he croaked, trying to get the hysterical woman off him. He didn't want her. He wanted Lily. Lily had told him that Eileen had been there, but she had been sent back home. For what reason, Lily didn't elaborate.

"Oh Severus! We are going home! I'm going to take you away from these horrid people who try and hurt you! You'll be safe!" Eileen pulled away from him and grabbed his free hand.

"N-No!" Severus cried out as he scrambled away from his mother. Seeing her made him think about home, which made him think about his father, and that made him think about pain…a lot of it. Still trembling, he felt a pair of familiar and comforting arms wrap around him from behind. Lily was now sitting behind him, with her arms wrapped around him and her cheek pressed firmly against his.

"Come now, Severus, don't be stupid! You'll be better off away from these people. They only want to hurt you!" Eileen told him.

"N-No! I'm s-staying with Lily!" he croaked, turning slightly towards Lily, he could smell the strawberry scent of her hair. It was comforting.

"Severus…" Eileen's fists were clenching by her sides as she stood.

"I believe that he has made his opinions known, Mrs. Snape. He wants to stay here, where people love him." Lily scowled at Eileen, who looked slightly shocked at the nerve of the girl.

"Perhaps a home environment wouldn't hurt his recovery." Professor Slughorn added into the discussion, not knowing anything of Severus' home life. "If Mrs. Snape wants to take Severus home, it may be a prudent action. A mother always knows what's best for her child."

"No!" both Severus and Lily yelled at the same time. Lily would not let him go with Eileen. After everything that she had seen, she knew that Eileen would just get frustrated with him and try to hurt him. And his father wouldn't make things any better.

"Professor, Severus will not receive the proper treatment he needs if he is taken there!" Lily looked over at Dumbledore, a pleading look in her eyes. Severus still trembled in Lily's arms as he shot a glare at the old man. Dumbledore had promised to protect him. "Besides, Professor, didn't you promise to protect him? A fine job of it you did before, letting him nearly get killed! Are you going to let her try and hurt him again?" Lily snapped. Playing Dumbledore's guilt would be a good way to quickly chase Eileen away.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Snape. But we cannot release your son to you at this time." Dumbledore stated, trying to hide the wounded glint in his blue eyes.

"But…you…I…are you denying me my parental right? You cannot…this is…" Eileen sputtered. Dumbledore shook his head.

"Alastor, please escort Mrs. Snape off the grounds. Staying at Hogwarts is crucial to young Severus' recovery." Dumbledore told them. Lily felt herself smile as Severus stopped trembling in her arms. Moody nodded and pulled out his wand as he grabbed Eileen's arm and dragged her out of the hospital wing. Dumbledore turned back to the two teenagers on the bed. Lily was hugging Severus so close to her that she appeared to be crushing him, but he didn't seem to be minding.

"Miss Evans, if you would kindly move off of the bed, please." Dumbledore waved a hand towards the chair next to the bed that Lily had spent so many days occupying.

"Yes, sir." Lily reluctantly moved out from her new spot behind Severus. She slid off the bed and into the chair, still holding Severus' hand.

"As I was saying before, we need to ask Severus a few questions about his attack. Are you feeling up to it?" Dumbledore pulled another chair up next to the bed and sat in it.

"No." Severus stated, not wanting to talk about it.

"You must understand, dear boy, that this is crucial to your healing process. You must accept what has happened to you." Dumbledore told him. Severus shook his head.

"I won't accept it. I don't trust you." Severus sat up against the stack of pillows at the head of the bed. Dumbledore tried not to fell wounded at the boy's words. No one had flat out told him they didn't trust him.

"Please, Severus, you must tell us." Dumbledore sounded as though he was pleading. Behind him, Madam Pomfrey was reluctantly handing Slughorn a goblet. Slughorn pulled out a tiny vial and dripped three small drops of potion into the goblet.

"It's ok, Sev. I'll be here." Lily told him encouragingly. She didn't want Severus to have to relive it either, but she was curious herself.

"Don't make me…please." Severus was nearly on the verge of tears.

"It's alright, Severus. We'll be here with you." Madam Pomfrey now stood at the foot of his bed, looking down on him. He looked from Lily to Madam Pomfrey to Dumbledore, and then back at Lily. They all were staring at him with the same look.

"Fine. I-I'll try." Severus looked away from him, fear trembling through his veins. Slughorn handed the goblet to Dumbledore, who handed it to Severus.

"Please, drink." Dumbledore pushed the goblet into Severus' hand.

"What is it?" he smelled the liquid inside. It smelled like nothing.

"Just water," Dumbledore paused as Severus quickly drank it, obviously thirsty. When he placed the empty goblet down, Dumbledore finished his sentence. "And a little something to ensure you tell us the truth."

Severus' eyes widened. "You gave me truth potion?" he croaked, looking over at Lily, who looked equally as scared. "I-I thought you might've…p-put calming draught o-or something…b-but truth p-potion?" he was trembling with nervousness now. Lily's hand squeezed his as he looked frightened at them all.

"What is your name?" Dumbledore asked.

"Severus Tobias Snape." he found himself answering.

"What house are you in?"

"S-Slytherin."

"Do you truly love Lily Evans with every ounce of you being?" Dumbledore asked him, almost quoting Severus' confession on the stone floor of his office.

"Yes." The answer slipped through his tongue before he could stop it, the Veritaserum forcing it out. He noticed Lily take in a quick breath at his answer.

"Good, now that we know the potion has working we can begin. What exactly happened to you after you were taken from the ground of Hogwarts by portkey?" Dumbledore asked him, knowing to be very specific with Veritaserum.

"We arrived in a clearing somewhere in the middle of a forest. There was a small shed in the trees. When we appeared, the Dark Lord," he paused to look apologetically at Lily for calling Voldemort what the Death Eaters called him, "was standing there and looking down at us. As soon as I hit the ground, I remember a lot of pain. He was using the Cruciatus on me. Avery, Mulciber, and Rosier were moving into the group behind the Dark Lord. They were all laughing as he kept using the Cruciatus on me. After he was done, he pulled me off the ground and forced me to stand. I remember I was crying because everything hurt so badly. The Dark Lord told me that he heard I was going to betray him and start working for Dumbledore. When I didn't deny it, he used the Cruciatus again. He was trying to break into my mind, but I was too strong. I spent last summer studying Occlumency, and I was still strong enough to keep him out. Finally, he became frustrated and he threw me into the shed." Severus told them. By now, Dumbledore was looking disgusted by the tale and both Madam Pomfrey and Lily had tears running down their cheeks.

"What happened after that?" Dumbledore managed to ask.

"Well, I remember being really hungry. And I was tired. I was so tired I didn't feel the pain. It kind of worried me, but I just slept anyway. After what seemed like a couple days, someone came in and pulled me off the floor of the shed. They pulled me into the clearing, and a whole bunch of Death Eaters were surrounding the clearing. They dropped me in the middle of the circle and they started throwing hexes at me. Some were just for laughs, you know like throwing me to the ground and laughing when I tried to get up but couldn't. They found that funny. Finally, after hours of doing that, I think it was Lucius Malfoy that did it, but someone cast the Imperius on me and made me do things like hit my head on a tree until a passed out. I never could figure out why they thought it was so much fun to hurt me, but I knew that I would've rather died than change my mind. I did realize why Lily wanted me to get away from them. Anyway, the next day, the Dark Lord was there again and he claimed that no one else could hurt me that day. So the entire few hours he was there, it felt like he had the Cruciatus on me. It hurt so bad I thought for sure that I wouldn't live through the night. By then, I wanted him to kill me. I would've done anything for the pain to stop." Severus felt tears of his own running down his cheeks as he told the story. He could feel his body start twitching, but he fought the pain from the memories.

"Oh, Sev!" Lily was sobbing now, pressing gentle, wet kisses to his hand. Madam Pomfrey had left, finding it too much for her. Dumbledore was looking at the floor, not meeting his eyes. Slughorn had left as well, not wanting to hear anymore of the story.

"And…what next?" Dumbledore tried to hide the catch in his voice as he spoke. He knew that he was the only one who could help the boy recover fully from the effects of the torture curse, so he would have to hear the whole thing. Mad-Eye Moody chose that moment of silence to enter once again. Just as he came in, Severus began to speak once more.

"When he was done, he stuck me back in the shed. I was hurting so much that I just laid there on the floor. I was tired and hungry. My clothes were ripped and torn. There was blood everywhere and I was dizzy. I laid like that for an eternity, waiting for them to decide to kill me. Finally, someone came in a dragged me out again. After that, it's a little fuzzy. I know that they didn't use their wands. They were kicking me and punching me. They tried getting me to tell them stuff, but I don't remember what it was. I was crying for them to stop, and finally the Dark Lord told them too. I remember I backed against a tree and my clothes were all bloody. He handed me my wand and told me that I had to duel for my life. I-I tried to fight but he deflected the spells so I tried to run and hide behind the tree. I was so scared, I tried to shoot another spell at him but he hit me with the Cruciatus again. I was telling him to kill me, because I couldn't take it anymore. I had dropped my wand…and he stepped on it and broke it in half. Then, someone told him to stop. It was Narcissa. She asked him if they were being too cruel. I…I don't think she had been there before. Then the Dark Lord asked her why she would stick up for me, and then he told her to…to kill me. Cissy didn't want to, I know it. But when he Crucioed me again, she said she would. I pleaded with her. She was like the sister I never had, and I didn't want_ her_ to…but she did…or at least…it felt like it. It was all black after that, and there was nothing. No pain, no worry. Nothing." Severus told them. He was trembling horribly, tears pouring out of his eyes. It pained him to tell them what Narcissa had done to him. He had always held great respect for her, but she had known he was suffering and had wanted to end it. So where was she? How was she dealing with it all? Did she dare tell Lucius how she felt?

"Sev! That's horrible!" Lily cried. She crawled onto the bed, despite Dumbledore's presence, and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. If I had just forgiven you, it wouldn't be like this. If I had just talked to you about it instead of ignoring you, then it would all be better! I'm so sorry, Sev." Lily cried as he was shaking in her arms, his eyes wide as though he was still replaying the events in his mind.

Severus looked over at Dumbledore. The old man had tears rolling down his cheeks and wetting the hair of his beard. "What are you going to do to Cissy? Please don't take her to Azkaban. She did it because she wanted to help me." he pleaded with the older man.

"That isn't for me to decide. But, if it helps, Narcissa was the one who saved you. She brought you to the Room of Requirement and gave you a potion to keep you alive. Thank you for telling me your story." Dumbledore stood and left, followed by Mad-Eye Moody.

XXXXXX

Lily had wondered only briefly why Severus wanted Narcissa Malfoy to be spared from Azkaban. She knew that Severus had been close to Narcissa, and that Narcissa was just a good person involved with the wrong type of people, much as Severus had been. She felt so awful for poor Severus that she had to take a bit of calming draught herself just to be able to leave his side. They had given him a few drops of sleeping potion, just enough for him to sleep for about two hours.

Lily decided to use the time to seek out Remus. She found him outside, reading a book by a tree as James, Sirius, and Peter messed around nearby. She didn't want to deal with any of the other three at that moment, so she tried to sneak up to the side of the tree they weren't on. She sunk to the ground and grabbed a small rock. Leaning over she tossed the rock at Remus' shoulder, startling him. She moved back over, trying not to make a sound.

Remus leaned over and caught a glimpse of the unmistakable red hair. Grinning, he scooted over to the other side of the tree and sat beside her.

"Hi Lily." he said.

"Hey." she smiled weakly at him. "Why are you still hanging around him?" she questioned.

"Because he's my friend. And it's just like you used to always hang around Snape when he was with those Death Eater kids." Remus told her. She sighed, knowing he was right. As much as she hated James, he was Remus' friend.

"I was wondering if you'd help me with something." she told him.

"Sure. What do you need?" he asked.

"I need you to find anyone in Gryffindor who would be willing to give being friends with Sev a try. Or at least be civil to him. Do you think you could ask around tonight?" Lily asked him. She had a plan to get Severus out of the hospital wing tomorrow.

"Sure, I can do that. Why?" he looked at her, wondering what she was up to.

"You'll find out. Just make sure they all sit next to each other at the breakfast table. Oh, and save a spot for two." she told him as she pushed herself off the ground.

"What are you up to, Lily Evans?" Remus smiled.

"I just want to get Sev out, but have him be around people who won't try and kill him." Lily told him. "Just ask around, and have them sit next to each other in the Great Hall tomorrow."

"Alright. I will." Remus stood as well. He was rewarded with a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek as she turned and made her way back to the castle.

XXXXXX

Lily once again found herself in the hospital wing. The privacy curtains around Severus' bed were closed and the room was silent. Severus was sleeping in his potion induced slumber, and she suddenly found herself very tired as well. There had been quite a bit of mental stress on them all in the last few hours.

So, Lily found herself crawling into bed next to Severus once more. She leaned her upper body against the small stack of pillows so that she was sitting up beside him. Stroking his hair, she found herself drifting off. Before long, she was awakened by a quiet whimpering sound. Severus was trembling and whimpering beside her. Tears were falling from the corners of his closed eyes. He was having a nightmare.

Lily pulled him up and closer to her so that he was almost sitting up with his head on her chest. The action woke him up immediately, but he still continued the trembling and whimpering. She found herself stroking his hair once again as she quietly hummed a tune that had come to her mind a few nights before.

"It's alright, Sev." she whispered as she resumed the humming. Slowly rocking back and forth, she found herself singing the song that she was humming.

"_You're not alone, together we stand_

_I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand_

_When it gets cold, and it feels like the end_

_There's no place to go, you know I won't give in_

_So keep holding on_

'_Cause you know we'll make it through_

_Just stay strong_

_I'm always here for you_

_Just hear me when I say I believe_

_That we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

_So keep holding on."_

When she paused, she looked down at Severus. He stopped trembling and whimpering, and was once again sleeping soundly. She hugged him before laying her head back against the pillows and drifting off once more.

* * *

**Wow, I think that was a fairly quick update. And the longest chapter yet! 5,010 words and 11 pages on word! Anyway, thanks to Black Wolf-Dog for the suggestion of the song. By the way, that was my own somewhat rewritten and shortened version of Avril Lavigne's beautiful song Keep Holding On. I thought it fit this chapter a lot. Thanks to all the people who fed the plot bunnies! Keep feeding, please!! Hope you guys enjoyed this chap! Review...**


	11. A Few New Friends

Not Mine. They belong to Jo.

* * *

Lily woke up fairly early that the next morning. Stretching, she noticed Severus rolled away from her and pulled the blankets with him. Her skirt was pushed up and her legs were freezing. _Blanket hog_, she smirked. But she had to admit, it was all her fault for going to bed with her clothes still on.

Looking down at the small calendar she had placed on the small table by Severus' bed she realized that it was Friday. She had been planning this day since Severus had woken up. Madam Pomfrey had been wondering how they could get Severus back out into the school and with the people, and Lily had been thinking for days. She looked back down at who she had silently called "her sleeping angel". He was so peaceful at that moment, one might have wondered if he had gone through anything at all. But, the scars that peaked out from the scrunched up sleeve of his shirt told a different story.

With another sigh, she hopped out of the bed and quietly crept to Madam Pomfrey's office. She had kept a bag with a few different outfits in there so that she could change her clothes and not have to go all the way up to Gryffindor tower. She found her bag in the corner of the office sitting in a chair. She pulled out her school robes and laid them out. Next to her things, a package sat. Lily knew what it was and was delighted to see it.

Glancing around and seeing that it was still a bit early, Lily gathered her robes and headed for the small, private bathroom in the office. There was a small shower in there so she stripped off her clothes before stepping into the warm spray of the shower. She was quick, knowing there wasn't much time and she didn't want Severus to wake up and find himself all alone.

Lily quickly grabbed her wand from the pile of discarded clothing on the floor and cast a quick drying charm on herself. Equally as quickly she threw on her uniform and pulled her hair back into a flaming red ponytail. Shoving her wand in the pocket of her robes, she picked up her discarded clothes and went back into Madam Pomfrey's office. The sun outside was now shining brightly through the large windows, casting light on the white blankets of the empty beds of the Hospital Wing.

Shoving her clothes into her bag, she picked up the box next to it and pulled the lid off. With a smirk, she pulled and the black fabric on the top. Unfolding it and letting it fall to the ground, she held it up. Near her hand where she held the cloak up, she found the silver and green Slytherin logo embroidered on the fabric. Suddenly, she found herself wanting the Severus-sized robes to show the red and gold of a Gryffindor, but she knew that wasn't going to happen soon. Severus may not be accepted in his own house anymore, but he will always possess those truly Slytherin qualities. _Even if he is the bravest person I know_. Lily sighed and looked back at the rest of the clothing in the box.

"Gross, Slytherin colors." she smiled to herself as she looked at the rest of the uniform she had ordered for him. While he had been asleep the other night, she had found out his measurements and sent an owl to Madam Malkin's along with a few galleons, which she _had_ been saving for that pretty little necklace at that shop in Hogsmeade. Lily knew that his only set of robes that fit him were the ones that he had been wearing the day he was taken. And they had come back to shreds. So, instead of letting Severus walk around in too small and dirty robes, she bought him a brand new set.

With a smile on her face, she neatly placed everything back in the box and put the lid back on. She walked out of the office with the box in her arms and pushed through the curtains around Severus's bed. Setting the box on the chair, she leaned over and gently shook him. With a groan, he rolled over and stretched his arms.

"Lily?" he questioned sleepily.

"Yes. It's me. Wake up, Sev. I have something for you." she was still smiling as he sat up. Grabbing the box, she sat on the edge of the bed. "Come on, sit here." she patted the spot next to her. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and yawned.

"Tired…Lily. Why did you wake me up?" he asked as he rubbed his eyes. She smiled and slid the box onto his lap.

"I got you a present." she smiled. His eyes lit up instantly, and he looked at the box with a hungry look in his eyes. Glancing briefly at her, he pulled off the top of the box hurriedly. He pulled out the uniform and looked over it with wide eyes.

"Lily…you didn't have to…" he looked over the brand new set of robes. He had never owned anything so new in his life. Except maybe his wand when he first bought it.

"I wanted to, Sev. Your last set of robes was in shreds, and the others in your trunk didn't fit you anymore. I wanted my bo – best friend to have a nice new set of robes." Lily blushed instantly. _Did I almost call Sev my boyfriend?_ She had not missed it the day before, when Dumbledore had asked him if he loved her with every ounce of his being and he said yes. _Does he really love me that much?_

"Thank you, Lily. But I…I don't deserve these." Severus said, bringing her out of her thoughts. He had placed the clothing back in the box and was handing it back to her. She looked at him like he was crazy.

"Of course you do Sev! Everything you've been through! Everything that's happened! All the things that I said to you and all the times I ignored you! I should be showering you with gifts and begging for forgiveness!" Lily pushed the box back towards him. "I let myself believe all the rumors people were saying about you, and I let myself get caught up in my own world, and look where it got you! Sev, I…" she paused, thinking of what to say next, but Severus cut in.

"No, d-don't talk like that." he said, he voice had a somewhat grave tone.

"Sev, I know you love me, but I treated you horribly!" Lily shifted her position so that she was facing him. He was now looking down at the box, his hair a black curtain hiding his face.

"No. I called you…that name. You had every right to be mad and go off with…" there was no hiding the catch in his voice and the pure loathing in his tone as he spoke the name, "_Potter._"

"Sev…" Lily suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to cry. She reached down and grasped his hand in hers. She brought it up to her mouth and kissed the back of it gently. She ran her thumb over the spot she just pressed her lips to. "I love your hands." she twined her fingers with his and looked up. He was staring at their tangled fingers, not blinking.

"You still like him, don't you?" Severus asked quietly, not tearing his gaze away from their hands. Lily was caught slightly off guard, but there was no hesitation in her voice when she answered.

"Potter is an arrogant toerag." Lily told him. She could see him smirk through his curtain of hair. "I also love your eyes." she whispered as she reached up and pushed his hair behind his ear and leaned to the side slightly so that she was looking directly into his dark eyes.

"I…thank you. The…the robes are nice." he said quietly. He was caught by surprise as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and hugged him to her. Once the initial shock passed, he found himself hesitantly returned the embrace. The sweet scent of her freshly washed hair and the feel of her arms around him made him feel as though the weeks of terror and pain were just a distant memory that was not his own.

"Alright, Sev." Lily pulled away, a slight tinge of pink coloring her cheeks. He still looked down at the box, not meeting her gaze. She was glad he was finally able to talk. He seemed much calmer ever since he told everything to Dumbledore. Perhaps it was the beginning of his recovery.

Lily's gaze drifted back to the box and remembered her plan. Looking at the clock on the wall, she figured breakfast would be starting in a half hour. Jumping up and grabbed the box from Severus' lap. Shifting it to one arm, she used her now free hand to grab Severus' and pull him up so that he was standing.

"Come on, Sev. You're going to get cleaned up and get dressed in your new robes." Lily told him. She suddenly realized how close they were standing now. He was taller than she remembered, and she figured he probably grew last summer when she hadn't seen him. The top of her head came to about his nose when he stood up straight. She felt her cheeks getting warm as her gaze swept over his body. He was slimmer than usual, due to his lack of nutrition the past few weeks. She knew that the only reason he could stand were the nutrient replenishing potions he had been given.

"What have you planned, Lily?" he asked, his voice low and quiet. She felt her knees get weak when he spoke like that. _What is wrong with me? _She shook her head. This was her hurt and emotionally unstable Severus standing so tall…so…so vulnerable. That was the word she was looking for, wasn't it? She shook her head again and turned around, leading him to Madam Pomfrey's office.

"We're going to go to breakfast in the Great Hall. Madam Pomfrey says you're well enough to eat real food now." Lily told him as she showed him to the small bathroom. "Shower and get dressed. I'll be waiting out here." she told him. She handed him the box, but he just stood there trembling.

"I…I don't want to go to the Great Hall." Severus stared at her with wide eyes. Lily stepped forward and placed her hand on his cheek.

"You'll be safe. I promise. You just have to trust me." Lily told him. He slowly nodded and headed towards the bathroom. He paused once more and turned back around.

"Lily? I…I don't have a wand." he told her. She stared at him blankly for a few seconds. She remembered him saying that You-Know-Who had stepped on his wand. Then, she smiled at him.

"I know. That's another part of the plan. Just wait." Lily told him. His eyes narrowed for a moment before he turned and went into the bathroom, shutting the door.

"Miss Evans?" Madam Pomfrey's voice startled Lily. She turned around and faced the mediwitch. "I have heard from the Headmaster. Mr. Ollivander is willing to come this morning after to breakfast. He'll be in the Headmaster's office."

"Good. If all goes well, then Severus will be out of your hands for a day." Lily smiled at Madam Pomfrey.

"Poor Severus will never be a burden to me or anyone in this castle. He will no doubt try to reject your charity." Madam Pomfrey told Lily. Lily just shook her head.

"He already tried. I convinced him to take the robes." Lily found she now couldn't wipe the smile off of her face. Her plan for the day was going smoothly. A few minutes later, Severus emerged from the bathroom. He was looking down at his new uniform and his hair was dripping wet.

"Sev, you look great!" Lily said as she pulled out her wand and waved it around his head and cast a drying charm. "Come on, we're going to go to breakfast now." She reached for his hand and grasped it.

"Lily, is this a good idea? I mean Potter and Black…and the others in Slytherin…" Severus asked as he was led out of the hospital wing. He felt as if he had not been in the other parts of the castle.

"Don't worry, Sev. I promise everything will be alright. I won't let you out of my sight!" Lily squeezed his hand as they walked down the corridor. Rounding the corner, they were passed by a couple of Ravenclaw girls.

"Hey Lily! Hi Severus!" They waved at the two of them and kept walking. Severus looked slightly startled and gripped Lily's hand a little bit tighter.

"Who are they?" Severus questioned, looking over his shoulder repeatedly.

"Marissa and Arella." Lily answered as they walked. The closer they got to the Great Hall, the more people were around. Severus found that they were all waving or smiling or trying to greet him. It scared him.

"Lily, can we go back? I-I don't want to do this. All these people…" Severus slowed down, his steps becoming very hesitant.

"Severus, please come on. I know that you're scared, but it will help. I promise!" Lily tugged on his hand a little bit and he reluctantly returned to his normal pace. Out of the corner of her eye, she realized he was slightly hunched over and his shoulders were trembling slightly. "Besides, Sev, we're gonna have to go back to classes soon and we are really behind!" Lily told him.

"One obstacle at a time, Lily." he smirked as they came up to the entrance of the Great Hall. Both Severus and Lily were shocked at the sight they saw. The entire Gryffindor table was scrunched together at one end of the table. There were five people sitting at the far end. James, Sirius, Peter, and two younger girls were those five people. As soon as someone spotted the two of them, silence spread through the Great Hall like the Black Plague.

Remus stood from the Gryffindor table and came up to them. He smiled at Severus, and then leaned forward like he was going to hug Lily. Severus let out a sort of muffled grunt as he stepped closer to Lily. Remus settled for smiling at her as well.

"I did as you asked. It seemed that quite a few people were willing." Remus told her. She grinned at him, then looked up at Severus, who eyes were drilling into hers. She could tell by the grip he had on her hand and how tense he was that he did not like this one bit.

"You're going to make me sit at a table with a bunch of Gryffindors?" Severus whispered as Remus turned back to the table.

"Gryffindors who want to be your friend! Sev, we went to a lot of trouble to find some people that would be nice to you! Can't you just try?" Lily pleaded.

"Are you saying that no one wants to be nice to me? Well if you put it that way, maybe I should've gone back home." Severus was practically snarling at her.

"Severus! Stop!" Lily backed away and yanked her hand out of his. He suddenly looked as though she had ripped his hair out strand by strand and then tried to choke him with it. His eyes were huge and he started trembling. And suddenly, Lily felt absolutely horrible.

"Sev…I'm sorry." she felt tears starting to well up in her eyes. Most of the Gryffindor table was watching them, but she didn't care. She took a step towards him and grasped his hand once more. His terrified expression disappeared instantly and he found himself hugging her once again. She was gladly returning the hug.

It seemed as though the entire Great Hall was looking at them again. Suddenly, there was a loud bang. Severus and Lily jumped apart. They were now standing near the Gryffindor table where two seats had been saved for them. Everyone looked over and saw none other than James Potter walking towards them. And he wasn't looking to happy.

"Lily…" Severus found himself stepping behind her. He didn't want to deal with Potter. He knew that letting her drag him here was a bad idea.

"Hey Snivellus! Nice to see you out and about. At least you're not busy screaming for you mummy." James smirked. Severus felt fear and anger boil inside of him.

"Sod off, Potter." Lily snapped.

"Hiding behind a mudblood? Isn't that a bit low for you, Snivelly?" James was scowling now. The other four that had been sitting beside him were now at his sides.

"James, that is enough!" Remus was standing again, next to a shocked Lily and an angry Severus.

"Whose side are you on, exactly?" James questioned rudely.

"There are no sides in this war to be taking. You're fighting a worthless battle." Remus folded his arms in front of him and stood up straighter.

"What are you talking about Remus? The greasy git stole my girl! Of course there are sides!" James exclaimed. Now, most of the students in the Great Hall were dead silent, and all the teachers had their attention directed on the group that was standing.

"James Potter you are the most arrogant, selfish bastard in the world! I don't know what I ever saw in you!" Lily cried. She found herself turning around and practically falling into Severus' arms.

"I've got a lot more good qualities than he does! What do you see in him anyway? He's ugly, evil, and he's got a far bigger ego than you can handle!" James said. This only caused Severus to take advantage of their position and reach into Lily's robes, extracting her wand. But before he could do anything, Lily grabbed his hand. She turned around and faced James, her face laced with an expression of hatred.

"_Potter_…If you want to know what ugly is, you've come to the wrong place. No one is ugly here. If you want to see evil, then go find those horrible people who hurt Sev. And if you want to see a huge ego, then _go look in a bloody mirror_!" Lily practically screamed the last part at James. "You are the most horrible, disgusting, self centered, egotistical Neanderthal I have ever met! And if you think being mean to Sev or any of my other friends is going to win me back, then perhaps you need to get in touch with reality!" Lily yelled.

"Well then, is that how it's going to be?" James sneered as he reached into his robes and withdrew his wand. Lily gripped her wand and made sure that Severus was behind her. Remus withdrew his wand as well.

"Yes, Potter, that is how it's going to be." Lily narrowed her eyes and glared at James. James lifted his wand, as though he was going to hex them, but was stopped by the sounds of people getting up. He looked around to see about a dozen Gryffindors standing around Lily, Severus, and Remus, all pulling their wands out.

"Arrogant toerag!"

"Selfish bastard!"

"What is wrong with you?"

"Don't you know when to stop?"

People began to start yelling at James, who was looking more and more embarrassed as the moments when by.

"How dare you make a fool of me, Evans?" James was about to mutter a spell when a disarming spell shot out from Remus' wand and shot James in the chest, throwing him backwards.

"That is _quite _enough!" the voice of Professor McGonagall screeched. "What on earth is going on here?" she looked down at James, who was being pulled off the floor by Sirius and Peter. Then she looked over at Lily, who was nearly sobbing in a trembling Severus' arms, and Remus, who was just standing and glaring at James. The group behind them were stowing their wands and scrambling to get back to the table before they could be accused of being part of the confrontation.

"James was attempting to harm Sn-Severus and was insulting Lily. He had his wand out and I acted out of self defense." Remus spoke. McGonagall looked over at James.

"Is that true, Mr. Potter?" McGonagall asked.

"No. I was merely coming to greet Lily and Snape, and Lily pulled her wand on me and started calling me names! And Snape tried to hex me when I was trying to defend myself!" James told the professor, putting on his best innocent expression. McGonagall seemed to be considering the scene in front of her for a few moments.

"Well, Mr. Potter, a week's worth of detention for attempting harm to another student. Mr. Lupin, two week's worth of detention for attacking a fellow student! Miss Evans, twenty points from Gryffindor and detention this Saturday for pulling your wand and attempting to attack another student." That one earned an assortment of boos from the crowd. "And Mr. Snape, thirty points from Slytherin and a detention as well for attempting to attack another student." That one earned a loud assortment of "boo" and "no way" and "that is unfair, he didn't do anything" from the crowd.

"But Professor, Severus didn't do anything! He doesn't even have a wand!" Lily cried out.

"James is lying!" the voice of Mary Macdonald said as she joined Severus, Lily, and Remus. "I watched the whole thing! Severus just stood there and watched! He wasn't involved!" Mary defended Severus.

"Mr. Snape? You have yet to speak." McGonagall turned her fierce gaze on Severus, who instantly began to shake and tremble.

"I…I…I didn't want to come here…I didn't do anything…" Severus stuttered and looked around, clearly frightened. Professor McGonagall instantly realized the distress that Severus was in, and her expression softened. Before she could say anything, Severus was backing away. "Get away…" he croaked.

"Sev…" Lily stepped towards him, but he only backed away more. As she tried to think of something to calm him down, she realized he was running out of the Great Hall, leaving here standing there.

"Lily?" Remus placed a hand on her shoulder.

"He…I shouldn't have pressured him. He…he is afraid of large groups of people. I keep forgetting that they attacked him in a group." Lily felt tears forming in her eyes as she ran after Severus, leaving the Great Hall shocked at what had just gone on.

"Professor, don't punish Snape for being in the wrong place at the wrong time." A voice that shocked them all said. Everyone's heads turned to see Sirius standing slightly in front of James now. James' jaw was nearly hit the floor at what his friend said.

"Mr. Black? Do you have something to add?" McGonagall raised an eyebrow.

"Remus and Lily were telling the truth. James started the attack and they were defending Snape." Sirius told her.

"Very well. All punishments stand, except for that of Mr. Snape. Don't let it happen again." McGonagall shot a glare at the standing students before retreating to the staff table.

"Sirius?" Remus looked at Sirius with a questioning look. Sirius stepped towards Remus and whispered so only he could hear.

"I just…I just saw him crying. I mean, I know what those guys can do. They don't care about which curses are illegal. If they want to torture someone, they will. I…I feel for him, you know?" Sirius confessed. Remus looked slightly shocked. Never in his life would he have thought that Sirius Black would be standing up for Severus Snape.

"Padfoot? What are you doing?" James was gaping at his friend.

"Choosing a side in a pointless battle." Sirius stood next to Remus. "It's time to end this." Sirius shook his head and turned back to Remus. "Should we go find them?" he questioned.

"Maybe we should." Remus nodded in agreement. Leaving a shocked James standing there between the tables, Remus and Sirius set off in pursuit of James and Severus.

"What has the world come to? My best mate taking the side of the Greasy Git?" James shook his head and retreated back to his unfinished breakfast.

XXXXXX

"Sev!" Lily called out. She was running through the castle, looking for him. She knew he couldn't have gone very far. He had only left moments before she did. With a sigh, she stopped in the middle of the entrance hall. She turned a circle before calling out, "Sev!"

"Looking for Snape? I saw him running out that way. Looked a right mess, he did." A Hufflepuff boy told her. He pointed towards the open doors to the entrance hall. _Great. He's outside now._

"Thanks." Lily dashed outside, looking and calling for Severus. A few people pointed toward a tree by the lake. The same one she had been sitting at the day he was taken. Running as fast as she could, she came up behind it and peered around. Severus was sitting on the ground, shaking. His knees were pulled up to his chest and his head was buried in them, his hair covering his face. She could hear him sobbing.

"Sev?" she said softly as she slid down to the ground beside him. She gently placed her hand on his back and rubbed small circles there. He didn't move for a few minutes, but he eventually looked up at her. The still frightened expression on his face nearly broke her heart.

"Why did you do it?" he asked. "Why did you make me go there?"

"I…I'm sorry, Sev. I didn't think about Potter. I thought it would be alright. I mean…you saw the people that stood up for you! Remus was standing up for you, even! I…I didn't think about you not wanting that kind of attention. I'm sorry." Lily sighed.

"I didn't mind it…those people were acting like they liked me. People were friendly. I…I've never had that many people say hi to me in one morning. Even if I was with you! But Potter…I mean he usually just hexes me and moves on! I never thought he'd try and get you too." Severus told her.

"Sev, he's just angry. He'll get over it. I just think we should stick together." she reached for his hand and grasped it once more.

"There you guys are!" Remus said from behind them. Lily looked up and smiled, only to be shocked with the sight of Sirius walking with him.

"What is he doing here?" Lily found herself moving closer to Severus and wrapping the arm that was on his back around his shoulders.

"Sirius just stood up to James and got Severus' punishment revoked." Remus said. Sirius went over and sat down beside Severus, who cringed at his sudden presence.

"Listen, mate. I know that you and I don't exactly like each other, but I want you to know that I'm sorry for all the times that I hexed you or joked around and had a laugh at your expense." Sirius told him.

"How touching." Severus sneered.

"C'mon, Snape. I'm just trying to say that, I know how those people can be and that I'm sorry that even you had to go through that." Sirius tried to explain.

"I don't want your pity." Severus fixed his worst glare on Sirius before turning back to Lily, who was shaking her head. Sirius let out a frustrated sigh. He was trying his hardest to be civil to Severus, but was finding it hard. He stood and faced Remus.

"Let's go." Sirius sighed. He hadn't really expected Severus to forgive him and act like his best mate, but he had hoped for something more that, "I don't want you pity".

"Sev, will you come with me? I have one more place I want to go today." Lily sighed.

"Where?" Severus asked.

"I want to go to the Headmaster's office. I have a few things to talk to him about. One being where you're going to stay." Lily told him.

"I just want to keep the room I have." Severus sighed.

"I figured that." Lily smiled as small smile as she hugged him.

"Lily?" he looked up at her. All the fear in his expression was gone, now that it was just the two of them on the cloudy October morning.

"Yes?" she looked over and met his gaze, staring right in to the deep depths of his black eyes.

"Do you think you could…you know…stay with me? You know…later, once I'm better." he asked.

"What do you mean, Sev? Like, live with you, in the guest room?" she questioned.

"Yeah, and…would you…would you be…" he trailed off, his cheeks suddenly feeling very warm. "Would you be my girlfriend?" he asked her. She looked slightly shocked at his question. She hadn't expected him to be so forward with her. She knew that he loved her, and she knew that she loved him. And there was no doubt she wanted to be his girlfriend. So why was she hesitating so long? "It's ok if you say no. I just…I just thought that maybe you liked me as more than a friend." he turned away from her, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

Lily sighed. She had led him on to believe that, for sure. Sleeping with him at night, admiring him, claiming that she loved him. And she knew that he would be a far better boyfriend than James ever was. So what was the problem? Oh yes, he was still feeling the effects of the Cruciatus curse. And what if he never got better? Would she be able to handle it if he never got better? Would it be harder to deal with if she was his girlfriend?

She sighed again and reached over to cup his cheek in her hand. She pulled him up so that he was looking her in the eyes. "I love you eyes. And I love you." she found herself now staring at his slightly parted lips. Leaning forward, she slowly and carefully pressed her lips to his. She slid her hand from his cheek to his hair. She felt him pressing his lips against hers, returning the kiss. Before either of them could go any farther, she pulled away.

"Yes, Severus. I will be your girlfriend."

* * *

**Thanks so much for the reviews!! I just wanted to make a few notes on this chapter. Yes, I know that James is being exceedingly arrogant and rude. Yes, McGonagall was completely unfair in dealing out punishment. Yes, I know that it is probably unlikely that Sirius would defend Sev like that. Yes, I do feel like Severus was rushing them a little by asking her to be his girlfriend. BUT, this story is not anywhere NEAR being over! In fact, it's just getting started!! So, each one of the slightly ooc behaviors that might be observed in this chap will lead to SOMETHING in the future. Believe me, I have most of it planned out. Now, if you enjoyed the chap and want to read more soon, then please feed the plot bunnies with delicious reviews!! Thanks for reading...**


	12. Source of Happiness

Nope, not mine. They belong to Jo. Flashbacks from Snape's Worse Memory are hers too, but I did rewrite some of it.

* * *

Lily had never been happier than she was at that moment. She was walking through the castle, holding the hand of her boyfriend, Severus. Smiling the biggest smile she ever thought she could, she looked over at Severus. She noticed that his thin lips were curled into a small smile as well. Her eyes found his lips, staring at them for a brief moment while she remembered the small kiss.

She had kissed him before, but none of those had been proper. No, this time she kissed him and found his warm, soft lips willingly returning the kiss. With a happy sigh, she felt as though she was on top of the world at that moment. Remus and Sirius were showing her that they still wanted to remain her friends, Severus was now her boyfriend, and she was on her way to the Headmaster's office to use her powers of persuasion to get what she wanted from Dumbledore. Life was good. Well, at least for her.

Beside her, Severus' mind was jumbled. Lily had just accepted his offer to be his girlfriend. She had kissed him. The kiss had felt so comforting. It wasn't a full blown snog fest like some of the hormonal teenagers around, but it was a gentle, loving kiss. For that moment, he felt as though nothing was wrong with him at all.

But that wasn't true. They were on their way to the Headmaster's office because he had to be separated from the people he once called his friends. They were on their way there because he had to let Dumbledore into his mind to help him get better. _Get better_. There was a laughable phrase. Severus doubted he would ever be better. Every time he looked over and saw a group of people laughing and joking around, he could hear the laughter of the masked and hooded figures standing over him as he was jerked around by the Cruciatus.

Every time he had a thought like that, he would squeeze Lily's hand and try to walk a little bit closer. She would squeeze his hand back and glance up at him to make sure he was ok. He tried to keep the small smile on his face, even though he was mentally stressed.

And he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in the Great Hall. Potter had not only attempted to attack him, but had gone as far as to call Lily that horrible name. Suddenly, a question fired up in his head.

"Lily?" he looked down at her, suddenly realized how much taller he was than her.

"Yes, Sev?" she glanced up at him.

"Do you really forgive me for calling you that horrible word?" Severus asked. Lily looked down at her feet as they walked, thinking of an answer.

"Yes." She told him, but as long as they were having this conversation, she wanted to ask a few questions of her own. "Why did you do it, Sev?" She felt him grip her hand tighter when she asked, as though he was making sure that she wasn't going to run off.

"You smiled." he said plainly. Her brow furrowed as she looked up at him, suddenly stopping in her tracks.

"What? I didn't smile! I was defending you." she stated. She was met by his intense gaze and stared him down, not intimidated in the least. Although, she was glad they were alone in the corridor at that moment.

"Yes you did." Severus' voice was so low he was whispering. The memory from months ago played in his mind as clearly as the memory of Voldemort standing over him telling Narcissa to kill him.

"I wouldn't…couldn't find what happened amusing! Sev…you're just trying to make up excuses! Trying to make me feel guiltier than I do!" Lily huffed, still glaring into his eyes. Suddenly, he made an action she thought he wouldn't do in his current state of mind. He took control. He pushed her backwards until she was pressed firmly against the wall. His hands – the hands she had come to love – gripped her upper arms tight. "Sev…you're scaring me…" she whimpered as he dark gaze drilled holes right through her eyes.

"Look at me, Lily." he hissed as she closed her eyes. She hesitantly opened them again. He reached into her robes and pulled out her wand. Shaking, she felt tears burning as they slid down her cheeks.

"What are you doing?" she cried, suddenly regretting any commitments she made to staying with him. She knew that he sometimes got angry, but would he always be like this?

"You know that I've been studying Legilimency and Occlumency, right?" he questioned. Her answer was a whimper and a quick nod. "Look into my eyes, and point your wand at me. All you have to say is 'Legilimens'." he told her. He tightened his grip on her arms and flipped them so he was pressed up against the wall and she was standing in front of him. Severus found himself wanting to run, wanting to get away. Her wand was pointed at him and he felt the familiar tingling of the effects from the Cruciatus. He focused his mind on one memory only, the memory of the day he had called her Mudblood.

"Sev…why are you doing this?" she still had tears pouring from her eyes.

"Just do it, Lily! I need you to understand what I saw!" he told her. He held his breath and focused on the memory as Lily held her wand up in a shaking hand. "Just say it, Lily." he whispered.

"_Legilimens!_" Lily managed to cry out. Suddenly she found herself being assaulted with images of that day. She was standing in the middle of the scene, looking at herself.

"_I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," Lily said. _

"_Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly turning back to Severus. "OY!"_

_It was too late; Severus pointed his wand straight at James. There was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James' face, splattering blood on his robes. James whirled around, and with a flick of his wand Severus was hanging upside down in the air. His robes were falling over his head to reveal his skinny legs and a pair of graying underpants. _

Lily watched the small crowd around them burst out in laughter and cheering. Three of the Marauder's were roaring with laughter. Then, Lily watched herself standing near James. Her furious expression faded for an instant, and she watched her own lips curl into a smile. The smile faded quickly and returned to the same furious expression as before. Lily looked back over at the hanging Severus. By the scowl on his face, she knew he had seen it. She walked over to Severus, who had just hit the ground after James let him down. Sitting beside the memory-Severus she saw something that broke her heart. He was crying.

"_Petrificus Totalus!" _

Memory-Severus was lying on the ground, stiff as a board. She heard herself yelling for James and Sirius to leave him alone.

"_Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," James said. _

"_Take the curse off him, then!" Lily told him angrily. James sighed, then turned to Severus and muttered the countercurse. _

"_There you go," he said as Severus was struggling to get to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus…"_

Lily held her breath, knowing this was the moment that had changed them forever. She looked over, to see a single tear running down Severus' cheek. From a distance, it was impossible to tell it was there. But this close to him, Lily could see it.

"_I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"_

And Lily stumbled backwards, suddenly out of Severus' memory. She was gasping and crying at the same time. Severus slid to the floor, his head buried in his hands as he was forced to relive yet another painful memory.

Dropping her wand, Lily fell to her knees next to Severus. He was silently crying, tears rolling from his eyes and leaving trails down his cheeks. She kneeled next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Slowly she rubbed her hand up and down his arm, letting him know that she was still there.

"I…I'm sorry." he muttered. "I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have scared you like that. I-I don't know what c-came over me."

"It's alright, Sev. That was horrible of me. I should never have smiled like that. I can't imagine how you felt. I can't imagine how you feel now." she whispered. At that moment, she mentally kicked herself for thinking Severus would actually hurt her. After a few minutes and a few strange glances from the two people that walked by them, Lily stood and tried to get Severus to do the same.

"Come on, Sev. We still have to go to Dumbledore. I have a surprise for you." Lily grasped his hand as he stood. Once again, he had a small smile on his face and looked as though he had never cried in his life. She leaned over and picked up her wand and they started walking again.

Once they got to Dumbledore's office, they found the Headmaster waiting for them outside the Gargoyle statue. Dumbledore had this hands clasped in front of him as he stared at them when they approached.

"I was beginning to think you weren't coming, Miss Evans." the old man looked down at Lily, and then looked over at Severus. "Mr. Ollivander is waiting." Dumbledore said. Severus looked over at Lily.

"Ollivander? The wandmaker?" Severus questioned. Lily just nodded and followed Dumbledore past the Gargoyle. As they entered Dumbledore's office, there was a full breakfast for two laid out on his desk, and the old wandmaker stood with a stack of long, thin, rectangular boxes next to him.

"Since your little incident at breakfast prevented either of you from eating, I took the liberty of having the house elves bring you something to eat." Dumbledore waved his hand towards his desk. Lily's eyes lit up as she saw the food on the desk. Her stomach growled loudly, as she hadn't eaten in a couple days. Severus wasn't so quick to rush to the food laid out before him.

"I-I think I should stick to the potions for another day." Severus felt himself getting a little queasy just looking at the stack of toast, eggs, bacon, and sausage.

"Nonsense, Sev. You're as thin as a stick bug." Lily said with a piece of toast shoved whole into her mouth.

"Right." Severus muttered, sitting beside Lily and taking a piece of toast of his own. At first he took a small bite and found that the toasted bread tasted delicious. He began piling the eggs and sausage onto a plate of his own and began to eat as fast as he could, never remembering being so hungry before.

"Here, have some pumpkin juice." Lily poured some juice into a goblet and handed it to him. He dropped his fork and toast that he was holding and greedily grabbed the goblet in both hands. Swallowing what was in his mouth; he tipped his head back and drained the whole goblet in three gulps. Lily grinned as she watched him. He slammed the goblet back down on the table and reached for the bacon. He grabbed four pieces in his hand and shoved them into his mouth, viciously biting into it and chewing quickly.

"Easy, Sev." Lily laughed when he stared at her with wide eyes. He pale cheeks were bulging with bacon and eggs. He was slowly chewing as he stared at her. Lily giggled at him, hunched over his plate with his fork in one hand and four half eaten bacon slices in the other.

"Severus, my boy, I believe Mr. Ollivander is here to help you select a new wand." Dumbledore spoke from behind them. Severus nearly choked on his bacon as he took another bite of it. He looked up at the other gray-haired man standing by the desk.

"I remember your other wand. Birch and dragon heartstring, ten and three-quarters inches, if I remember correctly. It's a shame it is gone, that was truly one of my better works. " Ollivander stepped over to the side of the desk that Severus was sitting on; the stack of boxes levitated and followed him. "I've brought you a few options to try out." Ollivander pulled out the first box and examined the wand inside. Severus dropped the food in his hands and turned to watch the older man. Lily was still eating as she watched.

"Maple and phoenix feather. Nine inches." he handed the wand to Severus, who took and felt nothing. He turned towards the empty goblet sitting on the table.

"Wingardium Leviosa." Severus tried one of the simplest spells he could think of. The wand sputtered and sparks flew out before the goblet half lifted off the table.

"No, no I figured that would be too far off. Try this." Ollivander pulled out another wand. "Birch and phoenix feather, eleven inches."

"Wingardium Leviosa." Severus repeated the spell, pointing the unfamiliar wand at the goblet. This time, the wand sent out sparks and the goblet flew up in the air quickly, then stopped high above their head. Severus, slightly surprised by it, brought the goblet back down to rest on the table. He handed the wand back to Ollivander.

"Well, this is trickier than I thought. Perhaps we should be sticking with the other core." Ollivander rummaged around in the stack before pulling out five boxes. "Willow and dragon heartstring, an interesting combination if I do say so myself, eight and a quarter inches."

Severus took the wand, repeated the same process as before, and this time, the wand didn't respond for him at all. Lily couldn't help but giggle at him.

"Mahogany and dragon heartstring, ten inches." Ollivander handed him another wand, he tried again with the goblet, and the results were not good. Again, Ollivander pulled out another wand, stating that it was "Beechwood and dragon heartstring, eight and three-quarters inches". The results were again, not good.

After, "Oak and phoenix feather, eleven inches" and a horrible attempt at "holly and unicorn hair, nine inches", Ollivander sighed, almost defeated.

"No matter, I have but one more for you to try. I never thought a day when I would sell this wand, but I have a feeling I will. It is a rather testy wand when it comes to choosing the right wizard. My great-grandfather made this wand many years ago. It has always held the potential to do great things. I figured bringing it along wouldn't hurt. Now, let's give it a try." Ollivander pulled out an ancient looking box. He opened it and dust blew everywhere. A few cobwebs hung off the sides as he pushed aside the silk coverings in the box. He pulled out a black wand that seemed to glisten in the light. "Ebony and dragon heartstring, thirteen and a half inches." he pulled the wand out and handed it to Severus. He held his breath as the boy grabbed it.

Severus felt a surge of power run through his body. It was a different feeling to him. He had never gotten this feeling with his old wand. This wand felt like it belonged in his hand, and never in anyone else's. He slowly pointed it at the goblet.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" Severus said as he felt another surge of power. The wand did not emit any sparks, nor did it spit, sputter, or cringe. It practically glowed as the spell shot out gracefully and caressed the goblet. The goblet slowly floated into the air, hovering lightly above the table. Lily was grinning and Ollivander was clapping joyfully.

"Bravo! Wonderful, absolutely wonderful!" Ollivander cried as he gathered the other boxes. "Now, I believe that would be seven Galleons, Mr. Snape." Ollivander patiently extended his hand. Severus' eyes grew huge, and then with a sigh, he placed the brand new ebony wand back into the box and made a move to hand it back to Ollivander.

"I don't have seven Galleons." Severus told him. He was about to set the box in Ollivander's hand when a small pouch landed in the old man's hand. Severus and Lily both looked up to see Dumbledore standing behind him. He had a small smile on his beard covered face. "But…sir…"

"I will not have my students going without a wand, especially under the circumstances in which their previous wand was destroyed." Dumbledore looked down at Severus with a slightly guilty look in his eyes. Severus eyed him skeptically, but took the box and pulled the wand out once more. Loving the feel of having this powerful new wand, he tucked it safely inside his robes and looked over at a smiling Lily.

"Well, it looks like my work here is done. Good day, Albus." Ollivander bowed his head slightly before taking a handful of floo powder and tossing it into the fireplace. He gathered the boxes in his hands and stepped into the fireplace, disappearing instantly.

"Severus, now that you have your stomach filled and your new wand, I trust that you would be content to sit here for a moment while I have a word with Miss Evans in private?" Dumbledore looked through his half moon spectacles at Severus, who glanced between him and Lily.

"I guess. J-just don't be t-too long." Severus told him. Dumbledore nodded and smiled at Severus. He motioned for Lily to follow him and they disappeared up the small staircase behind the desk.

"Miss Evans, you wanted to speak to me about living arrangements? I trust that you will soon be returning to Gryffindor tower and Mr. Snape will want to go back to his guest room." Dumbledore looked at the young girl as she nervously twirled a lock of fiery hair around her finger.

"Well, I was talking to Severus, and I think he'd like to get a room farther away from the Dungeons. I mean, what if those people try and get him again? And I'm not comfortable with that either." Lily looked up, her green eyes sparkling as she gazed at him.

"I'm sure that another room can be acquired for young Severus' needs." Dumbledore informed her.

"A-Also, sir, I was wondering if…if...if Severus and I could get a guest room that we could share." Lily asked quietly. Dumbledore looked slightly shocked by it at first, and then his brow furrowed.

"I'm sorry, Miss Evans, but I don't think I could allow that. It is strictly against school rules." Dumbledore told her.

"But sir! Severus needs me to stay with him! Surely there's one with two beds, or something! _Please_ sir…Sev needs me to be with him." Lily pleaded with the Headmaster, who could not ignore the look in her eye. It was true, Severus did need someone to be with him, and Lily was the best choice. And the poor boy couldn't stay in the hospital wing forever.

"I will look into it and inform you of what I…" Dumbledore was interrupted by a horrible screaming noise from downstairs.

"SEV!" Lily yelled. She pushed past Dumbledore and sprinted down the stairs. The headmaster followed, worry lacing his expression. Severus was curled up on the stone floor in a ball, his arms behind him covering his head. He was shaking and moaning. Lily dropped down beside him. She reached out to place a comforting hand on his arm, but as soon the contact was made, Severus was screaming again.

"NO!" he shrieked. He tried to uncurl and get on his hands and knees, but as soon as he did, he let out a scream of pain. It was everywhere. Pain was shooting through his fingers and toes, through his chest, and even in his eyeballs. He was yelling and crying in between screams and groans.

"Professor, what's happening to him?" Lily asked as she sobbed hysterically. Dumbledore did not answer. He pulled out his wand and grabbed the screaming boy.

"GET OFF!" Severus yelped, trying to wriggle out of Dumbledore's arms. Severus' arms and legs were now flailing about as he continued screaming. His head hurt horribly now, like someone was banging it with a hammer. His sides were burning and it felt like he was being stabbed in the gut with a thousand steak knives. He howled in pain as he pulled his knees up and buried his head in them, convulsing uncontrollably on the floor.

"Oh god, what is happening?" Lily was hysterical as well, watching as Dumbledore tried now to pin Severus to the floor and pull his head back from his knees. The headmaster held his wand pointed at Severus as he grabbed a fistful of the boy's hair and yanked his head up from his knees. Severus let out a pained yelp and then another scream as Dumbledore stared into his frightened eyes and bellowed, "_Legilimens_!"

"_I told you the stupid boy was a good-for-nothing waste of time!" A hook-nosed man slapped a cowering woman in the middle of the tiny living room. Dumbledore cringed as he yelled and slapped again. "He's just a stupid waste of space! I should have never agreed to this!" _

_Dumbledore heard a muffled sob from behind him. He turned around to see a small boy, who looked to be no more than four years old. He had stringy black hair and wore clothes that appeared to be scraps found in a dumpster. Dumbledore knew that it was a very small Severus. He heard the man yelling again, but instead he knelt down next to the boy._

"_Severus?" he questioned. The child looked up at him with the same frightened look he had as a teenager writhing on the stone floor of Dumbledore's office. _

"_Who are you?" Severus-the-child questioned. Before Dumbledore could answer, a glass bottle was thrown and smashed on the wall above Severus' head, showering him in glass shards. _

_Suddenly the memory faded and Dumbledore was standing in a clearing. A group of hooded and masked figures stood, laughing about something. They seemed to be having a wonderful time. Dumbledore looked over to see what appeared to be Severus, covered in blood and fresh wounds. He was sobbing and banging his head against a tree. _

_The memory faded again as Severus fell to the ground in an unconscious slump. The scene reformed to show the house that appeared to be Severus' home once again. Dumbledore found himself to be standing in the entryway of the kitchen. Severus' father __was holding a screaming child to the ground, holding a knife above him. Eileen was sobbing in the corner. _

"_If you ever do something like that again, I will kill you! I will slit your throat and watch that disgusting blood of yours drain out of you and be glad that the world is rid of another one of you!" Tobias Snape was yelling at what appeared to be a now six or seven year old Severus. _

"_Please, Tobias, he can't control it! He can't help it!" Eileen was sobbing, trying to get around her husband to protect her son, who was lying vulnerable on the floor. "Please, Tobias you're drunk! Don't hurt him now; you'll just regret it in the morning." Eileen pleaded with him. Tobias turned both the knife and his murderous gaze to his wife, forgetting about the child on the floor. _

"_Is that a threat?" _

_The scene faded again and they were back in Hogwarts. Severus was leaning against the wall as Lily held her wand up at him. She was crying as she muttered, "Legilimens". _

_The scene moved to a different part of Hogwarts now. A twelve year old Severus appeared to be walking down the stairs to the Great Hall for lunch after one of his classes. He was carefully watching the steps with his Defense Against the Dark Arts book clutched to his chest. Suddenly, Severus was shoved forward and was tripped by something invisible. He went tumbling down the stairs and laid at the bottom in a heap, his left arm twisted at an odd angle. At the top of the stairs, James Potter and Sirius Black appeared out of nowhere, laughing and pointing at him before walking away and leaving him._

_Once again, the memory faded and he found himself standing next to a fourteen year old Severus in the kitchen of his home once more. His father appeared to be drunk once again, waving a near-empty whiskey bottle around. _

"_No! You will not go and spend more time with that wretched bitch and her horrid family! Are they all like her?" Tobias was glaring at his son, but it couldn't match the hateful look Severus was returning to his father. _

"_Do not insult Lily!" Severus angrily pulled out his wand and pointed it at Tobias, who merely chuckled. _

"_You can't hurt me with that, boy." Tobias grinned, showing his horridly crooked and yellow teeth, as he circled the table. "How dare you talk back to me?" He was still grinning as he broke the bottle over Severus' head. Severus fell to the floor and tried to scramble away from his father. _

"_Severus!" Dumbledore chose that moment to act. Severus looked over at Dumbledore and raised an eyebrow._

"_Professor? Now would be a nice time to help!" Severus managed to crawl under the table, where Tobias now appeared too drunk to look. _

"_Severus, I need you to think of something that truly makes you happy!" Dumbledore told him. _

"_I can't do that!" the memory-Severus told him. _

"_Why not?" Dumbledore asked._

"_They keep telling me not to. They say they'll hurt me worse than I've ever been hurt before." he replied as he placed his hand on top of his head and pulled his hand away, having it covered in blood. _

"_Try, Severus, you have to try! Trust me, they cannot hurt you! What makes you happy?" Dumbledore questioned him._

_Memory-Severus looked up at him for an instant before the scene changed. Nine year old Severus was sitting next to Lily on the grass in a small clearing. She was laughing as they rolled around on the grass, tickling each other. _

"_Sev!" She shrieked as she rolled away from him. They both lay on the grass panting and out of breath. "That was the most fun I've had in a while, Sev." Lily told him. _

_Once again, Dumbledore found himself standing next to Severus at Hogwarts. He appeared to be about thirteen. Lily was running up to him in the hallway. Grinning, she looped her arm through his and began to chatter to him about what Mary Macdonald had blown up in charms class. _

_Then, sixteen year old Severus was waking up in the hospital wing, Lily's body curled up next to his. Her hair was messy and sprawled out across her back and his shoulder. He took a deep breath, inhaling the strawberry scent of the fiery red hair. _

Dumbledore pushed himself out of Severus' head with such force that he was pushed backwards and landed on his back a few feet away from Severus. Lily was kneeling beside them, shedding silent tears. Severus' and Dumbledore's eyes had been locked for nearly five minutes as some of Severus worst and best memories played out before him.

Severus was now getting up off the floor, stumbling over to a chair. He looked slightly confused as he stared at Dumbledore. He appeared as though he had no idea what had gone on the last few moments.

Suddenly, Dumbledore found himself grabbing Lily's arm and pulling her towards him and up the stairs. Severus just sat and watched them, too shocked to move. As they were heading up the stairs, Dumbledore was muttering to her, and she had to strain to hear it.

"It appears as though your presence must be near in order for him to heal. You are what truly makes him happy, Miss Evans. More specifically, you enjoying his company. So yes…you must be there." Dumbledore muttered. When they reached the top of the stairs, the Headmaster shoved Lily against the wall suddenly. "Did you use Legilimency on him today?" Dumbledore questioned fiercely.

"Yes, he asked me too." Lily told him, frightened.

"Have you _any_ previous experience at all?" Dumbledore's hand closed in a pincer-like grip on her shoulder.

"N-no!" Lily yelped.

"Do you have any idea how much harm you've done to him? Before…before he had a chance to heal normally, and perhaps quickly. I didn't think I'd have to do much, but you've made this far worse by entering his mind!" Dumbledore was yelling at her now.

"How? I-I don't think I did anything! He willingly let me in!" Lily tried to defend herself.

"I am a skilled enough Legilimens to be able to tell when someone's mind has been tampered with, Miss Evans. He nearly refused to find a happy memory! That never happens unless his mind has been severely tampered with!" Dumbledore shook her once more.

"Maybe he doesn't have very many happy memories to show you!" Lily shrieked. Suddenly, Dumbledore looked almost as shocked as Severus had when they separated.

"You still should not have entered his mind. There is no telling the damage you have done." Dumbledore's tone softened. He removed his hand from her shoulder and she dashed down the stairs and out of his presence. Slowly, he followed her. As he reached the office, he saw her fretting over Severus, who sat in the chair with his eyes wide open and not blinking. His head was sagging off to the side and he was motionless in the chair.

"Sev?" Lily waved a hand in front of his face, but got no response. "Oh gods, Sev…" Lily tried to shake him, but it only caused his head to droop down so that his chin was touching his chest.

"I'll call Poppy." Dumbledore rushed to the fireplace and reached for the floo powder.

**Ok...The food scene and the wand scene were particularly fun to write. I hope you guys enjoyed it! Let me stress a couple of points quickly. Yes, I am aware if they are a little ooc, but they are like that on purpose because everything that has happened is taking it's toll on everyone. And, I know that my Sev seems a little sappy, but I believe that he spent a lot of nights crying himself to sleep because he thought he was worthless. Anyway...another reminder that this story is far from over, it's just beginning! So...with that said...please review!!**


	13. Speculum of Vicis

Nope, don't own them. They belong to Jo.

* * *

"I'm going to send a letter to St. Mungo's. Perhaps they can fix this mess you've put him in," Madam Pomfrey muttered to Dumbledore as she waved her wand over Severus, who was back on his bed. Lily was sitting next to him staring into his never blinking eyes. She was not crying, just sitting next to him.

"What do you mean?" Albus questioned, standing away from the bed.

"You know bloody well what I mean! Using Legilimency on him like that! And then blaming it on Miss Evans because you don't want your pride wounded." Madam Pomfrey let out a heavy sigh and began rummaging around in the wooden box of potions that was sitting beside her.

"But he's right, Madam Pomfrey. I used Legilimency on Sev and messed him up. I shouldn't have done it when I knew his mind was all messed up." Lily looked away from Severus for a brief moment, meeting Madam Pomfrey's eyes.

"Nonsense, child. Professor Dumbledore is just too old and too set in his ways to think that perhaps he made the mistake of trying to _talk _to him in his memories!" Madam Pomfrey turned to look at Dumbledore, a slightly murderous look was in her eyes. Lily had never seen her professor's act this way. Dumbledore, while she didn't know him that well, was acting somewhat like guilty child by placing the blame for their mistakes on the nearest person. Madam Pomfrey was more protective of Severus at that moment that Lily was.

"Merlin's Beard, Albus, the boy was getting better! He was close, but not _that _close! I told you his mind couldn't handle it! Now, this is out of my hands." Madam Pomfrey turned back to the wooden box. "I _told _you he wasn't ready, but did you listen? No, you decided to go about your ways and force yourself into his fragile mind. Did you ever think for a second it would affect you as well?" Madam Pomfrey rummaged around and took out two small vials. She handed one to Dumbledore and handed one to Lily. Lily gave her a questioning look.

"What's this for?" Lily asked.

"Well, dear, you exposed yourself to it as well. The last thing we want is _you_ screaming on the floor," Madam Pomfrey sighed, "But you didn't do anything to harm him, I'm sure of it."

"Poppy, I assure you my intentions were only to bring the boy out of his…episode," Dumbledore said as he drained the vial of the potion.

"I don't care what you're intentions were." Madam Pomfrey looked back at her patient. "Severus, dear, can you hear us? Move, blink, do something if you can hear me!" Madam Pomfrey was almost pleading with Severus. When he didn't respond, she shook her head. "I need to send that letter right away! If they can send someone to help him, or perhaps even take him with them…Lord knows it'll do the boy some good."

"No! You can't send him to St. Mungo's!" Lily cried. "They wouldn't let me be near him if he went there, and he needs me. He told me he didn't want me to leave him! What if he can tell if I'm not here?" Lily questioned.

"Nonsense, Miss Evans. He's completely out of it," Dumbledore was saying. Lily was beginning to think that there was something wrong with the professor because he was acting strange and saying things she never imagined him saying.

"Are you calling Sev mental?" Lily asked angrily. Dumbledore looked over at her with questioning eyes, surprised at her sudden angry outburst

"No, I was merely assessing his current state of mind," Dumbledore told her rather calmly.

"Well he's not mental. I know that he can hear us." Lily glared at Dumbledore before looking back down at Severus. "You can hear us, can't you?" she whispered to him. Then, she spotted it. His unblinking and emotionless black eyes turned slightly so that it appeared that he was looking at her. "See! I told you! Just there, he moved his eyes," Lily scooted closer to him.

She leaned over him and looked down at him. His eyes moved slightly to meet hers. Smiling she reached up and cupped his cheek in her hand, not caring that Dumbledore was still watching them. She placed her other hand over his heart, which she could feel beating quickly beneath her palm. Gently, she kissed the corner of his mouth and felt his heart beat faster.

"I knew you could hear me, Sev. I love you." she whispered in his ear. As she said this, there was sound like the room bursting into flames, and then the sound of loud voices. A lot of them. Lily looked up to see a group of people wearing white robes. They were healers.

"Good thing you sent the letter to us right away, Poppy. No telling what would happen if you left him there like that for too much longer." one of the people was saying to Madam Pomfrey.

"Yes, yes. He's right over there." Madam Pomfrey was directing them to Severus. They pushed past the curtains and huddled around the bed.

"Get out of the way, you silly girl." a man roughly pulled her off the bed and pushed her away from the bed. He was pulling the curtains shut and pushing Dumbledore out as well. "No visitors!" he snapped.

"Why not? He's my boyfriend! He needs me!" Lily found herself saying. She wanted them to leave. She didn't care; she wanted them out of there so that she could be with Severus. Just as she was about to lunge back through the curtains, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up she saw Dumbledore looking down at her.

"Miss Evans, if you ever want to speak to your boyfriend again, I suggest you let the healers do their job," Dumbledore said. He pulled his hand away from her shoulder and left the hospital wing. Lily let out a sigh and settled down on the bed across the room from Severus'. Soon she found herself falling asleep.

XXXXXX

"Hey Lily, wake up." a hand was on her arm, shaking her. Groaning, she stretched her legs and her arms before yawning widely.

"Sev?" she questioned, opening her eyes. The hospital wing was dark, the sun outside was setting. She looked over to see that the curtains around Severus' bed were closed. She turned her head to see Remus and Mary next to her bed. They were smiling at her.

"He's asleep." Remus told her as she pushed herself into a sitting position. Smoothing a hand over her hair and yawning again, she swung her legs off the bed and stood.

"I want to see him," Lily stated. Before she could take even two steps away from the bed, Remus and Mary grabbed her arms and were pulling her back.

"We can't let you, Lily. We're sorry," Mary told her. Lily turned around and glared at them, struggling to get her arms out of their hands.

"And why not?" Lily questioned. She kept her eyes narrowed in a glare that the old Severus would've been proud of.

"Madam Pomfrey asked us to take you to the new room that Dumbledore assigned for you. She said to tell you that you can't come back and see him for two weeks," Remus told her. Her glare softened into a look of surprise as their grips on her arms slackened.

"What do you mean?" Lily felt stupid as she asked it, but it was the only thing she could come up with.

"Madam Pomfrey said that he was given a potion, and no one can visit him until the potion starts working. She said that it'll take two weeks to work," Mary said.

"So, I can't see my boyfriend for two weeks?" Lily questioned. She couldn't stand to think of it. He had barely been back for a week! He had nearly died and she had vowed to be by his side the entire time he needed her!

"Your boyfriend?" Mary questioned.

"Since when has Sn-Severus been your boyfriend?" Remus asked, his eyebrow raised questioningly.

"Since this morning after the fight. He asked me to be his girlfriend. And I said yes." Lily crossed her now free arms in front of her. "I think we should get out of here before I run back over there and stomp all over Madam Pomfrey's words."

"Alright, let's go. McGonagall already sent house elves to get your stuff and take it to your new room. She said that Slughorn moved Snape's things," Remus said. "We volunteered to sort of be your secret keepers. The door to your room is kind of hidden, and its password protected. Dumbledore said that he wanted Sn-Severus to feel safe."

"That's unlike Professor Dumbledore. I never thought he'd actually give us the room," Lily said as they began to walk out of the hospital wing. When they got to the doors, she cast one more glance back at the privacy curtains around Severus before allowing herself to be pushed out by Remus and Mary.

XXXXXX

They led Lily to the fourth floor. Not just any part of the fourth floor. They led her to the darkest, must unused corridor in the entire school, except maybe that part of the dungeons where buckets are magically charmed to pick up the lake water that drips in through the ceiling. Mary and Remus led her to what some students called the most haunted corridor in the school.

"This is disgusting! Dumbledore wants us to live down the most disgusting, unused corridor in the school?" Lily cringed as she pulled a spider web and probably the spider as well out of her hair.

"Sorry, Lily. But you want Severus to feel safe? No one will think to look for you guys here except us and the teachers," Mary told her. They kept walking down the narrow corridor. There was a single window at the end of the corridor letting in what little light was left. Near the end by the window, there was a door. Around the door, two torches lit as they grew nearer.

"An empty classroom," Remus broke the silence, "McGonagall told us that it hasn't been used in nearly eight hundred years."

"I wonder why." Lily looked at the door with its rusty hinges and door handle. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Remus and Mary had stopped as well. They were facing the wall opposite her. She turned to look at the dirty stone wall with a raised eyebrow.

"Just watch." Remus pulled out his wand and tapped the wall twice. Suddenly, a voice that sounded somewhat like Dumbledore's when he was extremely angry spoke from nowhere.

"Who goes there?" the voice questioned.

"Remus Lupin, Mary Macdonald, and Lily Evans," Remus told the wall.

"Password?" the voice's tone softened, seemingly recognizing Remus' voice.

"Golden goblet," Remus replied. He looked over at Lily, making sure that she caught the instructions. She nodded and he turned around. He tapped his wand on the wall in the same place twice more, and a door began to take shape. Slowly it molded itself into the wall. Two torches appeared on either side of the door as well. Remus and Mary stepped aside, letting Lily go up to the door.

Lily placed her hand on the door handle and pushed the door open. She stepped in, followed by her friends. They heard the door begin to meld back into the wall and once again hide itself from anyone outside. Past the door, was a beautiful room fit for two people. It wasn't huge, but it was cozy. One corner of the room had a four-poster with green and silver curtains and bed covers. There was a small table next to the bed and small chest of drawers against the wall at the foot of the bed. Severus' trunk was sitting next to the dresser at the foot of the bed. Across the room, there was a mirror image, only the curtains and bed covers of the four-poster were red and gold. Lily's trunk was sitting at the foot of her bed. She had two photographs in frames on the table beside her bed. The same two that had been beside her bed in the dormitory. They were of her, her parents, and her sister. The other was of her and Severus when they were younger. Also, on her bed were her book bag and her books.

Separating the two beds was a desk with a small bookshelf next to it. Lily smiled, hoping that soon she would walk in here to see Severus occupying that desk working on homework or something. On one wall there were three large windows that looked out across the grounds and the lake. Gryffindor and Slytherin colored fabrics hung down over the edges of the windows. There was a door on the same side of the room as her things. She curiously went over to it and opened it, discovering and large and private bathroom. Oh yes, she would definitely enjoy this.

"Why did he do it?" Lily questioned. She looked over at Remus and Mary who were watching her assess her new room.

"Who do what?" Mary asked.

"Why did Dumbledore give us the room? It's completely against school rules. Boys and Girls aren't supposed to live together and they're supposed to stay in their houses. I know that Dumbledore felt guilty about nearly getting Severus killed, but I never thought he'd actually grant my request." Lily wondered aloud as she went over to her bed. She pushed her books and book bag aside and sat down on the four-poster.

"I asked him why. He just told me that Severus wouldn't be safe in Slytherin, nor would he be safe alone. For some reason, he was very adamant that you stay with him and that it was you. He even argued with Madam Pomfrey about not letting you near him while the potion was starting to work," Remus explained to her.

"How do you know so much about all this?" Lily questioned him, still taking in the room that she hoped she would be sharing with Severus.

"I wanted to make sure I could answer your question. We were also interested in why Professor Dumbledore was acting so strangely. He wouldn't explain, he was just telling us what needed to be said and nothing else," Remus replied. Lily just nodded and ran her hand over the book that was closest to her.

"Well, we should probably be going." Mary looked over at Remus, who was looking at Lily.

"Lily, I almost forgot." Remus stepped forward and pulled what looked like a few folded scraps of parchment out of the pocket of his robes. "Professor McGonagall said that if you didn't get started on catching up, you'd be too far behind. Sn-Severus has an excuse, and right now you really don't. She wants you back in classes on Monday. And you should probably start trying to catch up on this stuff. I went around and got all the things from your teachers that you can do to catch up." Remus handed her the parchment. She unfolded them and looked over the list. Most of it was reading, some of it was practicing spells, and there were about fifteen essays.

"Thanks, Remus." Lily set the parchment aside. He smiled and nodded at her. She waved slightly as she watched both him and Mary leave the room. Once the door was closed and the room was silent, she leaned back on the bed and let out a huge sigh. Everything – with the exception of Severus still lying ill in the hospital wing – seemed to be working out alright. She wouldn't even have to face James Potter in the common room anymore if she didn't want to.

XXXXXX

Monday came surprisingly quickly for Lily, who didn't leave her new room except for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She found that concentrating on the homework she had been assigned to catch up on helped her to not think of Severus. On Monday morning as she finished dressing in her uniform robes and tucking her books for that day's classes in her bag, she sorted through seven completed essays and twelve pages of notes she had taken on her readings. She had made sure to take very careful notes so that Severus could copy and study them to make it easier for him to catch up when he was ready.

Lily tucked her wand safely in her robes and left her room and began walking down the dark, and considerably less dirty now that she had cleaned it a bit, corridor. When she got to the end, she peaked around the corner to make sure no one was around before slipping out into the larger corridor leading to the staircase. She made her way down to the Great Hall alone, feeling gloomy. She hadn't heard any news about whether Severus was getting any better. Cornering Madam Pomfrey during dinner last night hadn't worked, seeing as she couldn't get near him either. Only a certain healer from St. Mungo's that came once a day could get near him.

When she entered the Great Hall and made her way over to the Gryffindor table, she sat next to Remus. As soon as she sat down, people began to ambush her with questions.

"Are you really dating Snape?"

"Is he really your boyfriend?"

"Why Snape?"

"Why don't you come to Gryffindor anymore?"

Lily looked over at Mary who was sitting across from her. Mary just looked apologetic. She looked at Remus, who just shrugged as well. Sirius was sitting next to Mary, smirking. James seemed to be ignoring her while holding a conversation with Joanna.

"Uh…yeah Sev's my boyfriend because I lo-like him a lot." Lily simply answered before grabbing a piece of toast. She enjoyed being back on a regular eating schedule, but every morning she always thought of the day she and Severus were in Dumbledore's office eating. Severus had looked so cute when he looked up at her, his cheeks bulging with eggs and bacon, his dark eyes wide, and his more-silky-than-greasy hair framing his face.

_Cute? When did I start thinking of Sev as cute?_ Lily wondered to herself. She had always agreed with people who said that he was not the best looking guy around. Shaking her head, she returned to eating her breakfast.

"So, Lily, you ready for Potions this morning?" Remus asked her. "I'll be your partner if you would like. James asked to switch, so I've been working alone and he's been working with Joanna."

"That's sounds nice, Remus. But when Sev gets better I want to partner with him," Lily told him. He glanced over at Mary quickly, who spoke up next.

"Well, that's ok. I've been working in a threesome with Sirius and Alice, so I'll just join Remus when Severus gets back. As long as it's alright with Professor Slughorn, that is," Mary said.

"You're ditching us, Mary?" Sirius asked jokingly.

"Only to make everything fair." Mary smiled as she winked at Sirius. Alice was sitting across from Sirius, next to Remus. But she wasn't paying any attention to them. She was staring over Sirius' shoulder toward the Ravenclaw table where she was holding the gaze of Frank Longbottom.

"Oh I think someone's in love…" Mary teased. Alice looked over at Mary quickly, then down at her plate, blushing deeply.

"Shut up." Alice murmured, poking at her eggs on her plate.

"Well, would you look at the time? It's nearly time for class," Remus said, standing and gathering his book bag. Lily took one last bite of the sausage she was eating and stood as well. Mary, Sirius, and Alice stood as well. As they were leaving, James, Joanna, and Peter followed them.

"Wait up, guys!" James called. When the three of them caught up, they made their way to the Dungeons. Lily still found it somewhat difficult to be around James, but as long as he stayed closer to Remus and Mary, then she tended to be safe from James, who typically talked to Sirius and Joanna.

"I guess James is more of the blonde type of guy," Lily joked quietly with Remus, who looked over to see James with his arm draped over Joanna's shoulders.

"Ah, well…you're not jealous are you?" Remus asked before he could stop himself. Lily looked up at him with an angry look.

"Never. She can have him. At least Severus doesn't treat me like I'm just another girl," Lily replied as they started going down the tall, narrow staircase to Potions.

"No, that he doesn't," Remus sighed. When they got to the classroom, Professor Slughorn was overjoyed to see Lily had returned to class. She had always been his favorite student. He was also happy to see that she was fairly well prepared for what would be the first class of the year where she actually did anything.

XXXXXX

The week passed by very slowly for Lily. On Saturday, Lily was practically fighting with herself to stop from marching down to the hospital wing and throwing her arms around Severus. Instead, she kept herself locked in her room, trying to focus on the mountain of homework she still had to get done. The teachers had been fairly forgiving with her, giving her mostly reading assignments to help her along with the current assignments.

By lunch time on Saturday, Lily was feeling very hungry and decided to take a break from her homework. She quickly organized her books and notes before leaving the room. As she walked out into the dark corridor, she spotted the other door. Her curiosity was sparked as she walked closer to it.

There were words carved into the wood of the door. Slowly she ran her fingers over the words as she read them. "_Cella ut patefacio pectus pectoris ut posterus,"_ she whispered. She had no idea what it meant, but she felt the curiosity burning inside her now. Pulling out her wand, she placed her hand on the door handle and pushed the door open. The room appeared as though it had once been used a classroom. Tables were stacked nearly to the ceiling in one corner of the room. The walls were empty and the only light came from two big windows on the outward facing wall.

On another wall, there was a large mirror. It rested against the wall, going from the floor up still about a few feet above Lily's head. She walked through the dark and dirty room until she was standing in front of the mirror. There was more foreign writing above the edges of the mirror, inscribed in the stone wall.

"_Speculum ut ostendo plurrimi spes quod perspicuus poterus."_ Lily read. She stepped even closer to the glass of the mirror and pressed her hand to it. She saw only herself, looking in at her.

Suddenly, she saw the imaging taking another form. Suddenly, she was standing taller, and a bit older. Her face was a bit more angular, but still had all of her best qualities about it. Her fiery red hair was splayed over her shoulders in soft curls, whereas now her hair was only slightly wavy. In her arms, there was a small bundle. With a grin on her face, she held up the bundle to reveal a baby with a tuft of black hair and startling green eyes. Next to her, another person appeared.

Gasping, Lily saw Severus standing beside her. He was still tall and lean, but he was more muscular. He was dressed in all black robes and he was smiling down at the child in her arms. He looked remarkably handsome, having grown out of his teenage body. His nose was still large, and his skin was still eerily pale, but he was handsome. She noticed there was a thin gold band on his left ring finger, and when she got a closer look at her reflection's own left hand, she saw a stunningly beautiful diamond ring shining beautifully.

"We're married? We have a baby?" Lily ran her fingers over the glass, looking at the baby in her reflection's arms. Backing away, she found the image fading until it showed only her.

With lunch forgotten, Lily decided she had to find out what those words meant. She rushed back into the corridor. Tapping her wand against the wall, the voice rumbled from nowhere.

"Who goes there?"

"Lily Evans."

"Password?"

"Golden goblet." The door took shape and she pushed through it. Rushing over to her desk, she found her quill and parchment. Shoving them into her bag, she ran back out into the corridor and back into the empty classroom. She wrote down the words on the door and then the ones above the mirror. Taking one last look at the image of her, Severus, and their child, she left for the library.

XXXXXX

Lily was sitting alone in the corner of the library. Hogwarts, A History and The Wizards Guide to Latin were spread out open in front of her. She had translated the words above the mirror. "Mirror that shows the most hopeful and brightest future" was what she had got. She couldn't help but smile. If that mirror was correct, then she was going to marry a very handsome Severus, and they were going to have a black-haired, green-eyed child. She couldn't wait to show Severus.

Smiling, Lily went back to her translating. The words on the door turned out to mean, "Room that opens the heart to the future". Lily wondered if the room was a Divination classroom many years ago. This led her to search through Hogwarts, A History. There, she found a very brief mention of something called, "Speculum of Vicis".

Quietly, she read the passage out loud to herself, "Speculum of Vicis, or more commonly known as the Mirror of Time, was a gift to Rowena Ravenclaw from her great-uncle. She placed it in a room that she intended to be used as a Divination classroom, because she thought that it would help students to speculate on futures. The Mirror has been known to tell you the brightest point in your future. But, after Rowena's death, the classroom was no longer used and Divination was taught in the Divination Tower. Every once in a while, a student will discover the Mirror and find themselves enchanted by its power."

"Incredible." she whispered. She really was going to be married to Sev! And she was going to have a baby! Grinning, she let out a girlish squeal of happiness. Looking down at her parchment where she had written, "I love S.S.", she drew a heart around the words and folded the parchment, placing it in the pocket of the jeans that she wore.

* * *

**Alrighty...sorry if it seemed like there was a lack of Sev in this chap, and once again if they seemed ooc it will all be sorted out. I know that Dumbledore has been very ooc, but it's hard enough to write him to begin with...so please forgive me for that...anyway...hope you guys enjoyed this chap! Oh and about the Latin words, got them off a translator site, so excuse them if they aren't correct. And I promise more Sev in the next chap! Oh and thanks for the reviews everyone, so keep it up!**


	14. Returning

Nope, not mine. They belong to Jo.

* * *

By Wednesday, Lily found herself spending a lot of her free time doing homework and looking into the mirror. It gave her comfort, knowing that she was going to be getting married someday to Severus and they were going to settle down and have a family. She wondered how soon, though. They hadn't looked much older than they currently were, but just enough that is was noticeable.

Every time she visited the mirror, she found herself wanting to go and visit Severus. A couple of times she even went down to the hospital wing and sat on the bed next to Severus', staring at the light blue curtains that surrounded his bed. Once, it was so silent, she swore she could hear him breathing. It comforted her to know that he was still there.

Since she had discovered the mirror, her thoughts had constantly been of nothing Severus. She thought about sitting with him in the Great Hall at breakfast, everyone getting along like friends. She thought about being his partner in Potions class. She even thought about snogging him senseless in the corner of the dark corridor. But there was one thing that nearly scared her. On Tuesday, Lily had visited the mirror before going back to the room for bed. That night, her dreams were plagued with images of Severus kissing her, holding her, and even touching her like she never thought he would. She had woken up sweaty with the sheets tangled around her legs more than once.

Having those dreams scared Lily somewhat. She had never thought about Severus like that before. Why would she start now? She knew she loved Severus, but did she really love him like that? Discovering what she had in the mirror, made her wonder what would happen between them. Eventually, after much thought and losing five points in Arithmancy for not paying attention during an important lecture, Lily placed the blame for the dreams on hormones and missing Severus.

On Thursday, Lily could hardly concentrate. Only one more day until she could see Severus, and hopefully bring him back to their new room. At breakfast that morning, she could hardly hold still because she was fidgeting with anticipation for the day to hurry up and pass quickly. Remus had laughed at her as she constantly twirled a long of fiery hair around her finger as she tried to eat her breakfast with a shaky hand.

"Nervous about something?" Remus chuckled as he watched her with a caring expression.

"Tomorrow is two weeks. I won't be able to sleep tonight." Lily let a smile grace her lips.

"She'll be up at midnight pounding on the hospital wing doors," Mary giggled as she did an impression of Lily, "Let me in! Let me in so I can go snog my lover! Oh _please_ Madam Pomfrey let me in so I can shag him senseless!"

"Mary!" Lily's eyes grew wide and she looked away from her friend, trying to hide the blush furiously spreading through her cheeks.

"Oh Merlin, you don't _actually _want to shag him, do you?" Mary gaped across the table at Lily, who blushed even further as she tried to avoid her friend's eyes.

"Stop gaping, Mary. It isn't very becoming," another voice said. Lily looked up to see Sirius sliding into the seat next to Mary. "So, what lovely conversation did I have the pleasure of interrupting this beautiful morning?"

"Lily wants to shag Severus!" Mary let out before clapping a hand over her mouth. Lily blushed again before sending a glare in the direction of her friend. A few heads from down the table turned to look at them.

"Shut it." Lily almost growled. She glanced over at Sirius, almost waiting for his reaction. She watched as his expression hardened and his eyes narrowed, but it only lasted a moment before a wide grin spread across his face.

"Good one, Mary," Sirius laughed a clearly fake laugh as he reached across the table for a piece of toast.

"For your information, I love Severus and if he asked me, I'd marry him," Lily told them, thinking of the image of the mirror once again.

"You know what that means, Remus?" Sirius was looking across the table at Remus.

"Whatever does it mean, Sirius?" Remus, who had not particularly been following the discussion, turned to look at his friend.

"If she'll marry him, she'll shag him!" Mary giggled as Sirius now let out a less forced laugh.

"Oh yes, I can imagine a whole brood of greasy haired, green eyed, big nosed kids running around!" Sirius laughed. Lily couldn't help but smile now as she thought of the baby in the mirror.

"They'll have Sev's hair and my nose," Lily declared. Everyone stopped laughing for a moment before bursting out in laughter once more.

"Either way, they'll still be ugly," a familiar and unwanted voice said from behind Sirius and Mary. Caught up in their conversation, no one noticed James approach with Joanna hanging off his arm, her lipstick slightly smudged and her hair slightly messed up.

"Sod off, Potter." Mary turned and glared at James as he took his seat next to Sirius. Joanna sat next to him, her arm still draped through his. James just smirked and then turned to glare at Lily.

"I don't know why you'd want to shag him, Evans. I bet his hair isn't the only part of him that's greasy." James kept up his glare as he saw Lily's eyes narrow and match his glare.

"Prongs, that is most definitely the worst image to ever have entered my mind since meeting you," Sirius said, his grin fading as he looked at James.

"James is right. Why would you want to even be with him? He's disgusting! I mean, did his parents ever teach him _anything_ about personal hygiene?" Joanna, who apparently was now siding with James, smirked at Lily's furious expression.

"Don't you dare insult Severus." Lily was nearly shaking with anger.

"Oh, I forgot. That seems to be a soft spot for you." Joanna extracted her arm from James' and kept up her smirk.

"Shut up." Lily snapped.

"No. I think I'll just insult the greasy, disgusting, dirty, rotten smelling slime ball whenever I want." Joanna's smirk faded into a scowl.

"No I don't think you can! Besides, he is none of those things!" Lily's hands were balled into fists at her sides. Remus was looking slightly concerned next to her and Mary was looking ready to defend her if needed.

"You want to know what I think? I think that he deserved what he got! In fact, I think they should've killed him! The world certainly wouldn't have lost much!" Joanna raised her voice a bit to challenge Lily. Lily seemed to be at a loss for words.

"Take it back." Lily managed to say.

"No. I hope he's in pain right now! And everyone knows that James here is better off without you anyway!" Joanna glanced briefly at James, who suddenly looked as though he didn't want to be in the middle of their fight.

"Oh, like I'd even want to be with James! He only ever treats girls like whores!" Lily slammed her fist down on the table and stood. "And when I'm happily married with Severus' beautiful child in my arms, you'll be swamped with screaming babies who won't shut up because they're bastard children!" Lily yelled, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Lily…" James was standing, pushing Joanna back down on the bench. "Please…she didn't mean it…" James sounded apologetic. "Please tell me that…that you don't mean that…did I really treat you like that?" he questioned. Nearly every person at the Gryffindor table was staring at them.

"I don't care how many times you apologize to me, James Potter. You treated the person that I care about the most like garbage for years. You insulted him, called him horrible names, and insulted me for being around him. I will never be jealous of anyone who is stupid enough to go out with you, I will pity them." Lily wiped her cheeks as she grabbed her bag and ran out of the Great Hall before anyone could say anything else.

XXXXXX

Lily entered the hospital wing in tears. Madam Pomfrey had just emerged from behind Severus' curtains. She spotted the weeping girl coming closer and fixed a stern look on her face. Placing her hands on her hips, she looked right at Lily.

"What are you doing here, Miss Evans? You're not supposed to be here until tomorrow, unless something is wrong with you," Madam Pomfrey said.

"Please let me see him." Lily's voice was quiet as she let out a sob, more tears pouring from the corners of her eyes. "Please Madam, please…I need to see him…"

"I cannot allow it. He is not ready yet. With any luck, he will be ready by tomorrow evening." Madam Pomfrey kept her hands on her hips while looking sternly at the girl.

"Please! I need to see him! I don't care if it's just a peak through the curtains, I need to see him!" Lily pleaded. Madam Pomfrey just shook her head and softened her expression.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot allow it. It is important that he is not disturbed for the entire two weeks. Tomorrow evening, you can see him," Madam Pomfrey told her. When the nurse saw the hurt look on Lily's face, she felt her heart go out to the girl. "I'm sorry, Miss Evans. I will tell you that he is healing nicely. Severus _will _be ready to be taken back to your new room by tomorrow. I promise." Lily just nodded and looked somewhat longingly at the curtains.

"Thank you." Lily sighed, wiping her eyes once more before leaving. She had Charms next, and hopefully that would keep her mind occupied.

XXXXXX

Charms had _not_ kept her mind occupied. Neither had Transfiguration and Divination. And instead of doing homework during her free period, she spent it crying. Lily couldn't understand why people thought Severus was so bad. Contrary to popular belief, Severus wasn't even greasy. But there was another thing that kept bothering her. James' participation in the heated discussion had been minimal. And when it started to get out of hand, he even stood up for her and tried to apologize.

Why did it seem like James still loved her? She knew that the only person he ever treated badly was Severus, and that's what angered her. She loved and cared about Severus, but whenever James was around, she found herself almost forgetting about her love for Severus.

Many questions flowed through her mind. Was James trying to make her jealous? Did he still love her? Did she, somehow, some way, still have feelings for him? Would James ever accept her relationship with Severus like her other friends had? Would she even be able to be friends with James? And the biggest question that plagued her mind was one she had tried not to think since Severus had asked her to be his girlfriend. Did she really love Severus as more than just a friend?

To try to take her mind off of things, she decided to write a letter to her parents. She had gotten several letters from them, wondering if everything was alright. She hadn't responded to any because she was too busy with Severus, but now she decided it was the perfect time. Getting out a piece of parchment, she sat at the desk and began to write.

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_Sorry I haven't responded to your letters, things haven't been very good here at Hogwarts. Now, before you start to worry, nothing has happened to me. I'm perfectly fine, but Severus is not. Yeah, you remember Severus, the poor boy from Spinner's End who you used to like. A lot of stuff has been going on and I've been with him. Before you starting over reacting, I'll give you a shortened version of the story. The first week of school, Severus was kidnapped by these people called Death Eaters, who support You-Know-Who. Apparently, he was really sorry about calling me that name, so he tried to get out of being one of them and they nearly killed him. _

_So, everything has been horrible. When I found out, I cried and cried for nights, and then they finally found him barely alive. They took him to the hospital wing and I sat by his side for days waiting for him to wake up. When he did, it was horrible. He was traumatized and they forced him to tell them what happened, and then he was better for a while. Then Professor Dumbledore was trying to help him but only made him worse. _

_Anyway, that's what I've been spending most of my time doing. I missed a lot in my classes and had to catch up the last couple weeks. Oh, and I broke up with James. He was being such a jerk to Sev, and I couldn't stand it. Hope all is well at home and I hope that Tuney is doing well at her university. _

_Lots of Love,_

_Lily_

She had folded the letter up and made the trip to the owlery, but when she got back, questions were still flooding her mind. Even despite all that had been said and all that she questioned, Lily actually fell asleep that night. Her dreams were not filled with questions, but instead answers. Apparently, she did love Severus as more than a friend.

XXXXXX

Madam Pomfrey still wouldn't let her see him on Friday morning, insisting that she wait until the evening. So, the anticipation nearly too much, Lily sat through all of her classes that seemed to be taking twice as long as normal. She stayed closed to Remus and Mary, but stayed away from the others. Instead of the glares that James usually sent her during classes they had together, James was looking apologetic and somewhat sincere. Lily wasn't fooled by his looks, she was too busy thinking about when she would get to see Severus.

As soon as her last afternoon class was over, Lily dropped her things off in her room and was nearly running to the hospital wing. She knew that she was still early, but she hoped it didn't matter. And she was happy to see that when she arrived, the curtains around Severus' bed were opened and he was sitting up as the healer from St. Mungo's checked him over.

"Sev!" she practically squealed as she ran over to the bed. Madam Pomfrey and the healer stepped back as she ran up and wrapped her arms around him. At first, he seemed shocked by her suddenly arrival, then he returned the embrace. "I missed you so much Sev!" she said, her voice slightly muffled by his hair.

"Lily…" he breathed her name, whispering it in her ear. Lily smiled as she kept hugging him. He was fully dressed in the robes she had bought him, which were freshly washed.

"I missed you," she repeated as she squeezed him tighter before pulling away.

"Now then, if that is quite over I would like to finish examining my patient," the healer said from behind them. Grinning, Lily slid up on the bed next to Severus and grasped his hand. He was smiling as well as the Healer stepped and waved her wand over every inch of Severus' body, and then pointing it toward the side of his head, she stared into his eyes for a moment before pulling away.

"Alright, Severus, you now have a clean bill of health. You can return to classes on Monday, if you feel up to it," the healer told him. Severus smiled as he stood up rather stiffly. "Now, keep in mind when you're eating solid food that you need to get your system used to it again. You've been on nothing but nutrient potions for two weeks."

"Two weeks?" Severus croaked looking over at Lily, whose smile faded slightly.

"You were out for two weeks, Sev," Lily spoke quietly and gently.

"What h-happened?" Severus questioned.

"Nothing, Sev. I'll explain later. Right now, we need to get you out of this place. I have something I want to show you." Lily gave his hand a squeeze and pulled him along with her as she began to walk towards the door of the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey stopped them before they could leave.

"Mr. Snape, I will need to see you every morning for the next week to check up on you. Don't forget!" Madam Pomfrey told them. They both nodded as Lily pulled him out the doors.

"I was out for two weeks? Why?" Severus questioned as he walked beside Lily.

"What do you remember last?" Lily asked as she wrapped her other arm around his arm while still holding his hand. She was pressing her head against his shoulder as they walked, a smile still on her face.

"I remember Dumbledore leading you up some stairs, and then I remember a lot of pain. Next thing I know, I was sitting in there with the Healer and Madam Pomfrey standing over me." Severus told her. She just nodded, not wanting to really go into the details of hearing him screaming on the floor as Dumbledore grabbed him by the hair and forced himself into his mind.

"It took two weeks for you to be well again, Sev," Lily muttered. She led him to the Grand Staircase and them to the fourth floor and he just went along with her.

"Where are we going?" he finally asked.

"We're going to our new room." she told him. They were heading toward where the narrow, dark corridor was when a couple of voices startled them.

"Well, well what do we have here?" one voice questioned.

"It seems to be the traitor and his mudblood," another voice sneered. Lily froze and turned to see who was behind them. She could feel Severus trembling next to her. Spotting the source of the voices, she saw Bellatrix Black and Rodolphus Lestrange lurking in the shadows of the statues. By the looks of things, Lily and Severus had interrupted a heated snog session between the two.

"Leave us alone." Lily was reaching for her wand, and she felt Severus doing the same.

"Oh we aren't going to do anything to you," Bellatrix said in her sickly sweet voice as they backed away. "But I wonder how the Dark Lord will act when he finds out that he's still alive."

"Don't you dare hurt him." Lily gripped her wand tighter as she reached behind her where Severus was standing. Her fingers brushed his robes and she felt his hand connect with hers, grasping it tightly.

"Oh poor little Sev'rus, hiding behind his mudblood." Bellatrix taunted, earning a maniacal laugh from her companion.

"Shut up." Severus growled from behind Lily.

"Oh, nasty!" Bellatrix placed her hand over her heart and cocked her head to the side. She narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't lay a hand on me, would you? You filthy half-blood!"

Severus raised his wand and was about to say something, but there was a crack from the other side of Bellatrix and she went flying to the ground, and so did Rodolphus. They both scrambled up and glared at Severus and Lily.

"This isn't over, Mudbloods." Rodolphus growled as he helped Bellatrix stand. They glared at their attackers before scrambling away. That leaved Remus and, much to Severus' surprise, Sirius standing there.

"Hey, you guys ok?" Sirius asked as they walked over to them. Lily nodded as she looked up at Severus, who had a neutral expression on his face. His eyes were glancing between the three of them, showing more fear than he's like to have shown.

"We're fine, aren't we Sev?" Lily squeezed his hand and he shivered slightly. He was now glaring at Sirius, looking untrusting.

"Yes. We are fine." Severus looked back over at Lily and let a small smile tug at the corner of his mouth.

"We really should be going. Thanks for getting rid of them." Lily tucked her wand away and smiled at Remus and Sirius. "You guys always seem to be in the right place at the right time."

"Well, we were going back to the common room and I wanted to come see if you guys were back yet. Sirius was waiting at the end of the corridor down there, but he saw them before I did and came running down here," Remus exclaimed.

"It was very kind of you to come, but Remus I have to take Sev to the room and Sirius can't see where it is." Lily looked apologetically to Sirius and then smiled at Remus.

"It's understandable. Wouldn't want _someone_ accidently finding out," Remus said quietly. Lily smiled and glanced up at Severus, who seemed uncomfortable being around Remus and Sirius.

"It's all fine. Take care of yourselves." Sirius smiled at Lily and slapped Severus on the arm like they were old friends, making him jump three feet in the air. "Sorry…" Sirius backed away holding his hands up as Severus stood behind Lily, his head hanging low so that his hair covered his face as he stared at Sirius with frightened eyes.

"Sev, it's alright." Lily turned around and was about to wrap her arms around him in a comforting embrace, but before she could he was already latching onto her, quivering as he buried his nose into her hair. "Sev, he wasn't trying to hurt you. He wants to be your friend." Lily rubbed her hand up and down his back as he trembled.

"I'm sorry, Lily, I wasn't thinking…" Sirius apologized. "Sorry Sna-Severus. I hope that maybe you'll forgive me for the things I've done. Perhaps we can call a truce? Or at least be pleasant acquaintances."

"Come on, Padfoot." Remus tugged the sleeve of his friend's robes as he tugged Sirius down the corridor. "Bye Lily, Severus." Remus nodded before turning around and pulling his friend down the corridor.

"Are you ok, Sev?" Lily whispered as Severus still quivered in her arms. After a few moments, she felt him nod and he pulled away. His head was still hanging and his shoulders were hunched. She reached up and brushed a lock of hair from his face and pushed it behind his ear. "I love you," she whispered. Taking his hand she led him farther down the corridor until they got to the long, dark, and narrow corridor. Looking to make sure no one was around to see the, Lily lead him down it.

"Why are we going down here?" Severus asked her.

"We live down here now. Dumbledore gave us the room together. No one will suspect us to live down this dirty old corridor," Lily told him. When they got near the end, she stopped and pulled out her wand. Feeling Severus tense next to her, she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Ok, Sev, now pay attention because if you forget then you won't be able to get in, ever. Because the room is charmed not to let anyone who can't do it right in, alright?" she looked over at him and he nodded. She tapped the wall with twice with her wand.

"Who goes there?" the voice rang out.

"Lily Evans and Severus Snape," Lily replied.

"Password?"

"Golden goblet," Lily responded. The wall formed into the door and Severus jumped slightly. She smiled up at him before pushing the door open to reveal their room. Her side of the room was already well lived in, while his remained as it had the first day. "This is it, Sev." she smiled as he looked around.

"You'll be here too?" he glanced over at her bed.

"Of course. Your stuff is just over there. Bathroom is just through that door." Lily told him. She made her way over to her bed and sat on it as he went over to his.

"Wonder why he let us have the room?" Severus said as he examined the curtains of his four-poster.

"I don't know. Maybe it's his way of saying sorry for what he did." Lily sighed. Then she remembered that he didn't know it was Dumbledore that invaded his mind and forced him to be out of it for two weeks.

"What did he do this time?" Severus looked over at her, his brow furrowed as he tried to comprehend everything that was happening.

"He just feels guilty for not watching you closer, Sev. He wants you to be safe." Lily quickly said. He nodded slightly and sat down so that he was looking across the room at her.

XXXXXX

It was frustrating. Everything was frustrating. Things used to make sense. When Lily talked to him, he used to not have to sort through every word she said just to be able to comprehend it. He used to be intelligent, and be able to tell what people were thinking just by reading their expressions. He used to be able to look at people and not start trembling.

What the bloody hell was wrong with him? He felt like a helpless child, forced to depend upon others to defend him because people didn't trust him with magic. He was confused and frustrated by it all. But what he was frustrated by most of all, was the fact that no one seemed to be telling him anything. People who hated him were starting to pretend to be his friends, but why?

A flash of something came before his eyes. He jumped a little where he was sitting. He saw himself, in front of him. But it was gone before he could think about it. Then, he heard someone's voice that was not his own.

"_I need you to think of what makes you happy…"_ Severus closed his eyes and took in a sharp breath. _"What makes you happy…"_

"Lily…" he whispered.

"_Think of what makes you happy…"_

"_I love you Sev…"_

He heard the voices swimming in his mind, reminding him of just how helpless he really was at that moment. But that phrase kept repeating itself in his mind. _I need you to think of what makes you happy…_

"Sev? Are you ok?" Lily was beside him, her hand on his arm. She was sitting close to him, worry in her voice. And suddenly, the voice was drowned as he opened his eyes and smiled at her. He nodded slowly.

"I love you, Lily." Severus whispered. _Lily makes me happy…_

* * *

**Alrighty, hope you guys enjoyed this! So, my usual author's note applies of course, I'm just to lazy to write it all out. So, please review! Bunnies need feeding and my muse needs a drink...**


	15. Slow Recovery

nope, not mine. They belong to Jo.

* * *

Dinner had not gone well at all. Eleven different people managed to scare Severus out of his wits and effectively run him out of the Great Hall, closely followed by a sobbing Lily, but not before changing the whole school's opinions of what was going on. At first, everything had been fine. Lily had convinced Severus to go to the Great Hall for dinner. Both of them had been welcomed to the Gryffindor table by Remus, Mary, Alice, and Sirius.

Severus and Lily sat together between Remus and Alice. Severus had been somewhat cautious about being squished between the two Gryffindor girls, but after Alice made a couple of jokes about not biting and such, he seemed to be a little better. Upon seeing all the food laid out on the table, Severus stated that he was starving and tried to take large amounts of everything in front of him. Rolling her eyes, Lily stopped him before he could put anything on his plate.

"Sev, remember what they said. You can't eat too much too quickly," Lily told him, almost like a mother instructing a child. He had just glared at her before grabbing a single piece of bread and a small piece of chicken. Severus had stayed quiet most of the meal, just nibbling on the small amounts of food Lily allowed him to eat and watching the Gryffindors engage in conversation. He found them a much livelier bunch than the Slytherins. In Gryffindor, everyone was just the same and they acted like they accepted each other. In Slytherin, there were two groups: people who supported the Dark Lord and people who didn't. And no one talked at all. They were in the Great Hall to eat, and then get out.

"Hey Severus, you ok?" a slightly obnoxious voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked up across the table to see Mary looking at him with bright eyes.

"Yes, fine," he responded quietly as he glanced at Lily before looking back down at his plate. His hands were gripping the edges of the table slightly as he continued watching them, his hair hanging in front of his face to shield him almost. He jumped slightly when he felt Lily's hand cover his, but relaxed instantly. As soon as she made the gesture, things began going downhill. Sirius, sitting directly across from Remus, was laughing at a joke that the person next to him had make. He slammed his fist down on the table in the midst of his laughter, but it landed on the handle of the butter knife sitting on his plate, and it went flying through the air right at Severus, who let out an awkward squawk before diving nearly head first into Lily's lap as the knife landed on the edge of the table in front of where he had been sitting. Everything turned silent as Severus slowly sat up, quivering slightly. Lily was wide eyed and blushing as Severus' head lifted from her lap. Everyone's gaze turned to Sirius, who looked slightly confused.

"Sirius!" Mary elbowed him as he just stared at Severus.

"S-sorry mate, it was an accident." Sirius reached over to try and grab the knife. Severus just nodded as a very rosy cheeked Lily took his hand and glared daggers at Sirius. A minute later, everyone resumed eating and conversing, until the next chain of events played out. A seventh year Slytherin, whose allegiances were uncertain to everyone but his roommates, had made his way over to the Gryffindor table and clamped his hand down on Severus' shoulder tightly, causing him to let out a pained squeak and hunch over. The older Slytherin was about to say something, but Alice took it upon her to try and slap his hand away. Accidently, she missed the older Slytherin's arm and ended up slapping the back of Severus' head, forcing another squeak out of him and a shout from Lily. Mary joined in the fight by trying to throw a dinner roll at the older boy, but also ended up hitting Severus. Finally, with a scowl on his face, the older Slytherin backed off and walked away, muttering insults about Mudbloods.

"Oh Sev, they didn't mean to hit you." Lily was hugging him as he trembled, seemingly lacking the ability to even think about hurting anyone back. The old Severus would've pulled out his wand and had the two girls and the other Slytherin hanging upside down by their ankles faster than anyone could say "McGonagall", who just happened to be the next person to walk up and frighten him.

"What is going on here?" the shrill voice of Professor McGonagall questioned from directly behind Severus, causing him to jump once more. "What are you doing at this table, Mr. Snape? Shouldn't you be off with sitting with your own house?"

"Please Professor, they don't like him," Lily said quietly. She could tell that her head of house was just as biased as the rest of the Gryffindors tended to be. McGonagall clearly didn't like "one of those snakes" around her "precious cubs", as Lily had heard it put before.

"He will manage. Surely those qualities Slytherins are legendary for should be able to do him good." McGonagall snapped harshly.

"Severus' Slytherin qualities jumped right out the window along with the rest of his downfalls, and a fair bit of his good qualities too, but those I know he will gain back. It's not his fault he's in this state, now is it? My Severus is braver than any of the Gryffindors in here." Lily defended Severus and glared up at her Professor. McGonagall looked startled at being spoken to like that.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for disrespecting a teacher. That is a truly Slytherin quality in itself, Miss Evans, though it is known to be displayed in other houses as well." McGonagall huffed before walked briskly away from the table.

"Bloody old wanker." Mary grumbled from the other side of the table. "She's worse than Potter! You wouldn't think a teacher would be like that to you and Severus."

"Speaking of worse than Potter, looking whose coming in now." Remus glanced down the aisle only to see Joanna sneering as she came up and pushed two first years out of the way so that she could sit next to Sirius.

"Hello Potter's hussy." Mary glared at Joanna, who wore the same stupid expression of shock at the words as everyone else.

"Hello Black's whore." Joanna smirked as she turned her gaze on to Severus. "What's the freak doing here?"

"He's not a freak," Sirius found himself saying.

"Oh, wait until James finds out about you defending the grease ball." Joanna raised a thin eyebrow as she reached for a dinner roll in the basket.

"Shut up." Lily snapped as she turned back to Severus, who didn't look like he was handling the situation particularly well.

"You shut up, Evans. Why do you spend so much time protecting him anyway? He's not worth it. I'd kill him myself if I could." Joanna shot back. Severus visibly stiffened and his breathing quickened. He began trembling so much that it was almost shaking the table. Everyone knew she was just joking. Someone would've said something if she hadn't been. No one answered her, for the subject was changed as soon as a first year Ravenclaw tripped over his own robes and fell flat against Severus' back, making Severus yelp and jump up, knocking the first year to the floor and pushing Lily and Alice against the people sitting on their other sides.

"Sev!" Lily shrieked, grabbing his robes and pulling him back down. He plopped down on the bench with a slight "oomph". Severus didn't fail to notice the slightly angry glare that Alice sent his way.

"Alice dear, glares aren't you thing," someone said as they slid down in the now empty space between. Severus was startled and jumped at the close contact to the unfamiliar person. Frank Longbottom, Alice's boyfriend, was sitting between them. Severus was practically on Lily's lap trying to keep away from the new addition to the group that he didn't trust. Still trembling, Severus eyed them with distrust as Frank placed a sloppy, open mouthed kiss on his girlfriend's lips, only to be broken up by none other than Professor Slughorn.

"Now, now, please refrain from public displays of affection Mr. Longbottom," the plump professor waggled a thick finger at the boy. Frank just smiled at Alice before slipping away. Slughorn didn't seem to notice, as his attention was now directed at Severus, who was sitting impossibly close to Lily with his shoulders hunched and his dark hair shaking around his face as he trembled.

"Severus, my boy! I haven't seen you in a while! Glad to see you're out and about." Slughorn leaned over the table and clapped Severus on the back. Severus sat up instantly, stiff and trembling, his black eyes wide. He was breathing in quick short bursts.

"Professor Slughorn, Sev is still a bit nervous around people." Lily pried Severus' hand off of the edge of the table that it now gripped.

"Ah well, I hope things will get better quicker, I miss having your brilliant mind in my potions class!" Slughorn said with a hint of cheer in his voice as he waddled away.

"Sev, you can breathe." Lily slowly placed a hand on his back and rubbed circles as he relaxed slowly. A number of her friends were giving her somewhat sympathetic looks as she tried to calm him down.

"What is he doing here?" James questioned rudely as he marched up to the table. Hatred laced his tone as he glared harshly at Severus.

"He is having dinner." Lily snapped.

"Having dinner is he? Then why is he trembling like a scared muggle child who can't use magic to defend himself?" James smirked as he saw the angry expression on Lily's face as Severus seemed to hunch over even more at the comment.

"Sod off, Potter. Just leave him alone." Mary snapped.

"Shut up." Joanna growled.

"I think I'll stay right here. The only person that should be leaving is Snivellus, seeing as he isn't a Gryffindor. Shouldn't you be eating over there with the rest of the snakes, Snivelly? You great cowardly git!" James looked at Severus, willing the other boy to challenge him. Severus narrowed his eyes, his hand clearly itching to reach into his robes for his wand, which he had yet to actually use. Lily held his hand, keeping him from doing it. Finally, Severus spoke the most words he had said all night.

"Do. Not. Call. Me. A. Coward." Severus said each word clearly through gritted teeth.

"Sev…" Lily squeezed his hand with a hint of warning in her voice as he narrowed his black eyes in one of the harshest glares she had ever seen on his face. "Sev, please."

"C'mon, Snivelly, think you can fit in with the lions? Don't look at me like that, git. If you're going to pull out your wand and attack me, then do it before I get bored of standing here." James taunted. Severus was livid. He wretched his hand from Lily's and shoved his hand into his robes and grabbed his wand. James was doing the same, and was quicker that Severus. James was about to flick his wand at Severus, but Remus stood up and bellowed, "_Expelliarmus!_"

James' wand went flying from his hand. Severus let out a sort of angry growl as he stood from the bench and pointed his wand at James. A mysterious glint was in his dark eyes as his thin lips curled into a smirk. James' wand was handed back to him and he pointed it at Severus. Remus' wand was pointed at James as well, but Peter and Joanna both stood and pointed their wands as Remus.

"Want to do this here, Potter? Want to be the brave Gryffindor now? In front of everyone? Go ahead, hit me! Hit me while you know that I don't have the reflexes to defend myself!" Severus taunted. Much to Severus' dismay, James didn't pass up the opportunity to take a free shot.

"Incarcerous!" James shouted. Ropes shot from the end of his wand towards Severus.

"Protego!" Lily jumped up and reflected the ropes away from Severus. He turned his glare on her.

"I could've got that, you know." he sneered.

"Don't be silly, Sev. You're so frazzled you couldn't hex a piece of meat right now." Lily growled as she stood and pointed her wand at James.

"What is the meaning of this?" Professor McGonagall screamed as several staff members were running down the aisle.

"Just playing a little game, Professor. Nothing to be worried about." James answered. He flicked his wand and Severus found himself being thrust up into the air ankle first, just like the end of fifth year. But, before he could get upside down, he was falling to the floor. Remus had done the countercurse. Severus was about to grab his wand and fire a shaky hex at James, but Remus pointed his wand back on Severus.

"Impedimenta!" Remus called, forcing Severus to be grounded to the floor. He looked over and saw something that almost hurt him to the point where a small tear formed in his eye. Severus was looking up at him, the hostile expression completely gone from his features and replaced by a look combining fear, betrayal, and hurt. His eyes were wide and frightened and his jaw trembled. Severus had expected James to hex him, but Remus he had just begun to trust.

"That is enough!" McGonagall now had her own wand out, as did the other teachers. No one was paying attention to them.

"Welcome back, Moony." James was grinning wildly, his wand still pointed at the grounded Severus.

"Shut up, Potter." Remus growled. He looked back down at Severus and with a flick of his wrist, the curse was gone. Then, something happened that made everyone lower their wands and rethink their priorities.

Severus let out a pained wail as Lily dropped to her knees next to him. He looked every bit an overgrown, defenseless child as he grabbed Lily's sleeve and shook violently on the stone floor. He let out a loud sob and his grip on Lily slackened. His hand hit the floor and he seemed to curl up into a ball. His screams echoed down the now silent corridors, the pain and terror laced in his voice seemed to drip down the walls. The whole of the Great Hall seemed to be dead silent. Some of the students across the hall were standing up and moving to crowd closer to see what was going on. Sadness and pity for his condition struck even the hardest of hearts. No one deserved the life he had to live. His wails filled the onlookers with sorrow, and even those who could only hear him felt tears prickle in the corner of their eyes. Lily was sobbing as well, but not nearly as loudly as Severus.

Remus now had silent tears marking lines on his face as he watched the spectacle before him. Severus' pained sobs made his heart tighten; feeling like it was spilling tears of its own. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Mary crying as well, in the arms of a grim looking Sirius. Joanna was looking smug as she inched her way toward James who, much to Remus' shock, had more than a couple tears forming in his eyes.

"Sev? Sev please look at me! Please…" Lily pleaded. Severus looked up at her, his eyes huge and watery. The pale skin of his cheeks was splotchy and tear stained. It was the most horrid and saddening sight anyone had seen. Pain flashed through his expression.

"Why?" Severus wailed painfully. "Why me? Somebody tell me! What did I do?" he sobbed. More than a few people surrounding turned their heads to the person next to them, crying as well. They pain that they heard made their hearts ache as though they had been hit with the Cruciatus as he had.

"Sev…" Lily reached out to stroke his hair, trying to comfort him as he turned towards her, shaking. His breath was ragged as he sobbed. Madam Pomfrey pushed through the crowd and dropped down beside Severus.

"There, there dear." she whispered, gently pressing a comforting hand to the back of his head.

"NO! Get away!" Severus thrashed about on the ground, trying to get away from Madam Pomfrey. "Why?" he groaned as he turned his face toward the stone floor, pressing it to the ground. A few more choked sobs were heard in the crowd as he sobbed against the cold stone.

"Sev…it's ok…" Lily whispered quietly.

"NO! Why? What did I do? Tell me!" he wailed again, but this time, it was muffled by the floor. Professor McGonagall's whispered tones almost echoed in the silence that followed.

"We need to get the boy out of here, Poppy." McGonagall tried not to look at the poor boy that she had nearly insulted not long before; knowing that she had played a part in what drove him to this. Her heart was aching as well, fighting the internal battle to let the tears in her eyes flow freely.

"Why doesn't anyone care? Why do they hate me?" Severus drew his knees up to his chest and held them. Lily leaned over further, trying not to break down into uncontrollable sobs from the waves of distress emanating from Severus' shaking body.

"I care Sev, I don't hate you. I love you." Lily managed to whisper to him. She cupped his cheek in her hand and stroked the skin gently with her thumb. Madam Pomfrey was back beside him, her wand out as she attempted to pry the boy away from Lily. "No…stop it!" Lily shrieked. "You won't help him! You won't make him better!"

"Get away! Get away from me!" Severus suddenly pushed both Lily and Madam Pomfrey away. He scrambled to his feet, his scared expression firmly in place as he looked at all the people surrounding him. Nearly everyone either looked sad, or was crying for him. His eyes locked for a split second with Remus', drinking in the Gryffindor's apologetic gaze. "Why?" he croaked as he backed away. Severus lowered his head and turned, pushing through the crowd and running out of the Great Hall.

XXXXXX

Most people were silent in their common rooms that night, but no one was as silent as they Slytherin house. Nearly everyone sat in various places in the cold dungeon room. Some of the younger students were crying, while the older ones just sat around with a grim look on their face. Since Avery, Mulciber, and Rosier's departure from the grounds, everyone in Slytherin house had relaxed slightly. The only people who were pressured to join the Dark Lord were the Black's, and as the youngest, Regulus was beginning to think he wasn't certain that was the path he wanted to follow.

"Are we going to sit around and let the poor little half-blood ruin our ways?" the voice of Bellatrix Black questioned, breaking the silence of the full common room.

"Your ways you mean." Another person shot back.

"I thought the Dark Lord showed more mercy than that! I don't want to join him if I'll end up like him!" Persephone Jacobs, a third year, added into the conversation.

"The Dark Lord doesn't do that to everyone, you git. Only to traitors like Snape." someone else snapped.

"Oh right, so now he's a traitor? You were bawling for him as he wailed like a child!" another voice said.

"So were you! I mean, we all heard what happened! Tortured with the Cruciatus, he was! If that's what people have to live like after that happens, then I don't want to do it! Just because we're in Slytherin doesn't mean that we can't know right from wrong! Who wants to join with people who do that stuff to people, to kids?" one of the sixth year girls stood up and put her hands on her hips.

"I heard it was your sister that was supposed to kill him! If she had done that, then maybe he wouldn't be put through this!" another girl turned to Bellatrix.

"Don't be silly. Narcissa cared about the stupid boy, as much as I hated it. She wanted him to live and so she didn't perform the curse right! It's her fault as much as anyone's that he still alive!" Bellatrix shot back. "The Dark Lord is merciful. He wanted to put the traitorous half-blood out of his misery, but my sister kept him alive!"

"Merciful! You know what I heard? I heard that the Dark Lord kept him in pain for hours before he tried to kill him! That is not the kind of stuff I want to do."

"You are all cowards if you do not join the Dark Lord for those reasons! Severus Snape is a traitorous mudblood lover that deserved what he got!" Rodolphus Lestrange snapped.

"In your opinion." Regulus finally said. "I used to be friends with Snape, and he's a lot better than people give him credit for. And it's horrible, what happened to him."

"Your mummy won't be happy to find that you're talking like your blood traitor brother." Bellatrix smirked.

"Don't talk about my brother like that!" Regulus growled.

"Oh, testy." Bellatrix raised one black eyebrow.

"Obviously, you've made your views clear and so have I. Anyone that changed their minds should sit with them." Regulus pointed at the group of students who didn't support the Dark Lord before. Much to everyone's surprise three quarters of the other students stood and moved to one side of the common room.

XXXXXX

Remus felt like he was going to throw up. His stomach was clenched in nervousness as he held his breath. Not only did he feel bad for playing his part in Severus' apparent mental breakdown, he felt like he had caused the world turn upside down. And, he was serving three weeks solid of detention with Filch and his Hogsmeade privileges were revoked for the rest of the year. But, James had gotten two months of detention helping Hagrid care for the animals and clean up the grounds as well as his Hogsmeade visits for the rest of his school career revoked. Most of the other participants in the fighting had gotten a week of detention, with the exception of Lily and Severus.

Most people had left the Great Hall in silence. The Slytherins seemed to be someone sad for their housemate's condition, while others sympathized with the pain he felt. James and Joanna's short lived relationship was broken up with a very loud shouting match at the foot of the grand staircase. Mary and Sirius grew even closer as she cried about how her Aunt was in St. Mungo's for being tortured to the point where she was worse than Severus. Frank and Alice disappeared away from everyone. Remus was then left, walking to the common room, trying to think of how he could make it up to Severus and Lily. He knew that Severus would probably never want to be in the same room as him, let alone be friends.

Now, several hours later, Remus was standing outside of Lily and Severus' room. He had revealed the door, but settled for knocking on it politely. He wasn't even sure they were in here. He heard from Mary, who heard from Alice, who heard from a Ravenclaw that it had taken an hour just for Lily to find Severus hiding in the boathouse. He waited for nearly five minutes before he heard the door opening slowly. Lily's green eyes could be seen looking at him through the small crack that had been opened.

"What?" she was nearly whispering, her voice hoarse sounding.

"I…er…I came to explain…" Remus managed to say.

"Explain what? Why you jinxed Sev?" Lily was still whispering, but her green eyes were filled with anger.

"I did it to stop him from hexing James. He didn't need to set James off anymore than he already had. I swear, Lily, if I had known what would've come from that, I wouldn't have done it! I would've let Snape hex him!" Remus told her.

"So, you were acting in his best interests, huh?" Lily's glare intensified as she drilled her gaze into him.

"I was trying…Lily, please understand that I didn't want to upset him. I…I want to be his friend." Remus tried to get out.

"Really? Do you really mean that?" Lily's eyes seemed to brighten.

"Lily, can I come in? Is he in there?" he asked. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and cast a worried glance behind her. Nodding, she opened the door a little more. "He's asleep?" Remus questioned quietly as he stepped in and noticed the figure under the green blankets in Severus' bed.

"Yes. Professor Slughorn fetched me a bottle of dreamless sleep potion. I don't know what I'm going to do, Rem. It's just so hard. I never know if what I'm doing is going to hurt him, or upset him, or something. I just want him to be comfortable and I want him to feel better, but every time we turn around people like James and Joanna and Bellatrix Black are there to hurt him." Lily told him. She pulled out the chair by the desk and offered it to him as she sat on the edge of Severus' bed.

"It's understandable that it's hard on you, Lily. A lot of the teachers say that he needs to be taken to St. Mungo's until he's completely better. Dumbledore says that won't help, so they don't do anything." Remus tried not to look at Severus, who was facing towards the wall.

"St. Mungo's would be far better than half the places out there. What are we going to do when he has to go home? His parents hate him, Rem. Can you imagine what they'd do to him? Sometimes I cry just thinking about those times he came to my house covered in fresh bruises, and I just turned around and paid him no attention. I mean, do you know what it would be like to be treated like that? To be so unwanted that people reject you the second you walk into a room? I can't imagine it!" Lily sighed as she placed a shaky had on Severus' arm.

"I can." Remus whispered. She looked at him, questioning. "Lily, there's something I should tell you. I…I know how he feels because people have rejected me…because…because I'm a werewolf." he said hurriedly. She stared at him, frozen in place with her green eyes wide and shocked.

"A-A werewolf?" Lily managed to reply.

"Ever wondered why I was always sick once a month at the same time all these years? Well, there's your answer. I'll explain more to you later, Lily, but I just wanted you to know. I know exactly how he feels that's why I want to be his friend," Remus said.

"That is quite a shock." Lily whispered, looking back down at Severus' sleeping form. He looked at peace when he slept, as though he had no problems at all.

"Well, if you would like, I'll leave." Remus stood. Lily didn't reply as he headed to the door. He paused before opening it and turned back. "If you can get him to come to breakfast in the morning, I think he'll find that he'll be even more welcome at our table. McGonagall was bawling like a baby after she dealt out the punishments. James broke up with Joanna and ran up to the dormitory trying to hide the fact that he was crying."

"Thank you, Remus." Lily said softly as she smiled at him. "I want people to accept him, but I know that's not going to happen quickly."

Remus just nodded and left.

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**So here's another chap. I hope you enjoyed. I know it seems like some parts of this story are moving rather slowly, while others are moving rather fast. Well...soon I'm hoping...things will begin to even out. My usual things about oocness apply. Also, I'd like to note that Sev and Lily are NOT going to be going to another school! So if that is stuck in your mind, please get it out! This story will be fairly long so there will be plenty of explanations later, just have patience! Anway, thanks to my readers and reviewers and thanks to the guys who put this story on all those c2s! Review!**


	16. Gaining Control

Nope, Not mine.

**YAYS i cannot believe i actually got this chapter up tonight!! Anyway a quick note before you read: this chap is full of angst, confusion, apologies, and teenage male hormones. Enjoy!**

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Dear Cissy,

_You'll never believe it. That brat you kept alive cried in front of everyone during dinner tonight. Now people are feeling sorry for him and half of the Dark Lord's supporters are turning around and changing their minds! It makes me wish I had strangled the twerp and his Mudblood when I had the chance._

_Just be lucky that I care about you enough to not run off and send a message to the Dark Lord. I could let him know that Snape is still alive, and sucking his supporters away from him. Then, he'd realize you disobeyed him and he'd kill you. I wouldn't want that, my only loyal sister, married to the prat Malfoy, killed at the hands of the Dark Lord for not following his orders. A right shame…_

_I don't wish to bring death upon you for you misdeeds, just know that Rodolphus and myself will not be offering the traitorous, muddy blooded half breed our sympathies. Personally, he probably would've been better off dead, seeing as the crack pot of a headmaster screwed his head up even more and that Mudblood and her blood traitor friends hexed him until he was crying on the floor. _

_Tut, tut Cissy, you really should've put the boy out of his misery. Too bad you had to take him in the closet before you graduated. Just hope that word doesn't slip to dear old Lucius that you still have feelings for the little boy who poked you in a shabby old broom closet. _

_So, the point of this letter was and still is: don't mess with me anymore, Cissy. I have plenty of blackmail to get you punished. And the best part is, is I don't even have to hardly get involved! Just a slip of the tongue and Lucius is hauling your stiff corpse over a cliff to get rid of the evidence. Keep it in mind._

_Bella_

Folding the parchment and sliding it into an envelope, Bellatrix smiled. The trip to the owlery would be most satisfying. She tucked the envelope into her robes and joined a couple of other Slytherin seventh years making the same trip. The smile never disappeared off her face for the rest of the night.

XXXXXX

Thankful for the dreamless sleep potion that ensured Severus eight restful hours without nightmares or waking up, Lily left the room and entered the old classroom. She tried to clear her mind of the thoughts of the night before, but she just couldn't just stop worrying. Everything was turning out to be so difficult.

She wasn't sure if she could handle it. Constantly worrying about Severus and wondering what would happen if she took him to do something or see someone was wearing her down and driving her almost as mental as he was. Almost.

The one thing that kept her clinging to her hope that Severus would actually get better was the image in the mirror. She sat down on the blanket she had brought and stared up at her older self, holding the child. She looked so happy, smiling at her while holding the child. But her gaze didn't linger long on herself, because as soon as Severus walked up she found herself looking up at him, locking her eyes with his dark ones. The expression his eyes held was something she had never seen before. They were almost sparkling with happiness and content. Seeing this, she because absolutely positive that if Severus were to look into that mirror, he would see the same thing.

He was smiling down at her, his usually thin lips looking somewhat fuller. His eyelids were heavy as he blinked lazily. His black hair was thick and full, shorter than it was now but still hanging down and framing his face. Lily let her eyes slowly drag down his body admiring his lean yet muscular figure. He almost looked like a totally different person than her Severus laying in bed in their room. He was more filled out and looked gorgeous in the black trousers and button-up shirt. She felt a burst of heat flow through her body as admired him. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, making her feel weak even though she was just sitting.

No wonder she married him. Not even James Potter could make her feel like that.

Yawning, Lily stretched out and laid on the blanket, forgetting everything else except for all of her hope that Severus was going to get better. Her tall and lanky Severus was going to heal and grow into a handsome, mature looking man. Yawning once more, Lily's eyes drifted closed and as she drifted off to sleep with the image of Severus' content and happy eyes watching over her.

XXXXXX

Severus' eyes shot open and he found himself in an unfamiliar environment. He looked around, slightly disoriented as he rolled onto his back. He glanced at the other side of the room to see Lily's empty bed. His heart raced as he looked around the room, finding that he was alone.

"Lily?" he croaked, pushing himself up so that he could sit. As he looked around, trying to figure out where he was, he remembered what happened the night before. The last thing he could remember from the incident in the Great Hall was being forced to the ground by Remus Lupin, whom he had thought was becoming his friend.

Deciding that he could trust Lupin just as much as Potter, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and began his visual search for Lily once more. "Lily?" he stood up and stretched, suddenly feeling very stiff. He found that his voice was hoarse and his throat was raspy. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and yawned, making his way toward the bathroom.

"Come on Lily, where are you?" he glanced around the room once more before closing the door and tending to his own needs. As he came out, he checked one more time for Lily, wondering what happened to her. It wasn't like her to not be there. Especially since she had specifically told him that she could be there for everything, whenever he needed her. But it wasn't like he needed her, he just wondered if something had happened to her. Sighing, he walked slowly to his bed and yanked the bed clothes straight and turned to his trunk. He dug around for a pair of plain dark grey trousers and a fairly ugly sweater of the same color.

He tugged off the once black, but now faded and almost grey shirt he was wearing and tossed it lazily into a pile on one side of his trunk. He quickly pulled the sweater over his head and pushed the waistband of his faded black pajama bottoms, which had more than a few holes in them, off his hips so that they pooled around his ankles. Pulling on the trousers, he brushed his fingers through his hair and shoved the pajama bottoms into his trunk just in time as someone knocked on the door.

Panicking slightly, he grabbed his wand off the table beside his bed and held it firmly in his hand. Secretly, he hoped it was just Lily who had forgotten the password or something. Opening the door, bracing himself in case it was an enemy, he found that he was somewhat surprised at what he found.

"Hey Severus." Mary was smiling at him and next to her, holding her hand, was Sirius. "Can we come in?" she questioned, glancing back at Sirius for a moment.

"I-I guess." Severus eyed Black wearily before stepping back and pulling the door open to allow them in.

"Sorry if we're intruding, mate. Mary wanted to talk to Lily before we went to breakfast." Sirius said as Mary drug him in. Sirius knew that Severus didn't like him, and knew that he had every right not to like him. The only reason Sirius had ever really been mean to Severus was because he was a Slytherin.

"Lily's not here." Severus muttered, sliding his wand into the pocket of his trousers.

"Where is she?" Mary asked, following Severus as he walked back over to his bed and sat on the edge.

"I don't know. I just woke up a little while ago. She wasn't here." Severus replied. He stiffened somewhat when Mary sat down beside him on his bed and Sirius sat in front of him in the desk chair.

"Oh, well…" Mary sighed. "Are you ok, Severus?"

"Yes, I'm fine. A little hungry, but fine." he replied, subconsciously leaning away from Mary. She was looking at him worriedly. He was wondering why.

"Are you sure? You took it pretty hard." Mary's eyebrows were knitted together in concern.

"Took what hard? I'm fine. Besides the fact that Lupin hexed me and Lily is nowhere to be found, I'm fine!" Severus snapped, fixing the Gryffindor girl with his best glare as he scooted away from her. Sirius chuckled as he watching his girlfriend pestering the Slytherin boy.

"So, Snape, just wanted to say, you know, sorry for treating you like I did all those years. I hope that you can forgive me and we can be friends. I'm just tired of fighting, you know. It's time to grow up, kind of thing. And, especially given the, you know, circumstances." Sirius managed to say. Severus narrowed his eyes and stared at Sirius.

"Are you just trying to be my friend because you pity me? Or perhaps you might one day wish to take advantage of my slow reaction times or my unstable mentality?" Severus sneered, hunching his shoulders slightly. Sirius just chuckled at his response, his truly handsome features showed as he grinned. This made Severus scowl, becoming slightly embarrassed at his own lack of decent features.

"Don't be silly, Severus. Sirius is being sincere. If he wasn't, I wouldn't have brought him down here." Mary tried to put on a reassuring tone, but it wasn't working on Severus. She was too much of a bubbly person to make him feel better.

"Well…" Severus was about to answer, but he was cut off by the door opening. Lily stood, slightly out of breath. Her hair was sticking up in random places and she had a few smudges of dirt on her face and clothing. Her eyes scanned the room, slightly sparkling as she spotted Mary and Sirius. When she came eye to eye with Severus, she smiled.

"Sev!" she yelped as she rushed toward him. She practically fell on the bed as she lunged at him. She was standing on her knees on the bed as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in his hair. "Are you ok, Sev?" she asked, pressing kisses to the top of his head.

"I'm fine," Severus replied, his voice muffled by Lily's arm as she cradled his head against her neck.

"Take it easy, Lily, you're going to choke him!" Mary joked. Lily pulled away and sat down beside him.

"What are you guys doing here?" Lily questioned.

"I just came to see how you were doing," Mary said. "Severus let us in."

"Sorry, but Sirius isn't supposed to be here." Glancing over as Sirius, she found herself scooting closer to Severus.

"It's alright, Lily. Bla-Sirius was just visiting. No harm in it, as long as he keeps the location of our room a secret." Severus told her, still eyeing Sirius with a look of great dislike, but deciding to give him a small chance. He would never fully trust him, not after that little stunt Lupin had pulled the night before.

"Mary, Sirius, excuse us. I want to talk to Severus in private for a moment." Lily stood and grasped Severus' hand, tugging him up until he stood and followed her like an obedient puppy. She pulled him into the bathroom and shut the door. Turning around, she met Severus' eyes. He looked as though he had never cried like he did the night before. He had an oddly stupid looking smile on his face as he looked down at her.

"What is it, Lily?" Severus asked.

"Are you sure you are ok?" Lily's brow was knitted with concern. She stepped closer to him and placed her hands on his chest, running them up to rest on his shoulders.

"I'm fine. Why does everyone keep asking me that?" his smile faded and he rolled his eyes.

"Last night…you were just…I had too…you don't remember?" Lily looked just as confused as he did. She had spent an hour last night searching for him before she found him under the tarp covering a boat in the boathouse. She managed to get him to their room and dressed in some pajamas before Professor Slughorn arrived with a vial of dreamless sleep potion.

"No, I don't remember anything that happened last night. Will you please tell me? The last thing I remember is Lupin hexing me!" Severus growled, grabbing her hands and pulling them off his shoulders.

"Sev…" Lily sighed, knowing the day probably would be much more enjoyable if he didn't know what happened.

"_Tell. Me._" he ground out, his eyes narrowing and his voice laced with his usual dark, nasty tone.

"I don't think…" Lily drew her bottom lip between her teeth and looked up at him apologetically.

"Don't…" Severus slid his hands down so that he was grasping her wrists tightly. He was slightly hunched over, looking angry as he backed her against the wall. Lily sucked in a breath and tried to stop the tears that were burning her eyelids.

"Sev…you're scaring me." she whined, trying to pull her wrists from his grip.

"Tell me." he snapped, loosening his grip on her wrists.

"You were crying! Yelling and sobbing and crying on the floor of the Great Hall! You kept screaming and it was horrible, everyone was crying! Everyone was crowding around you and you were sobbing so much. You sounded like you were hurting really bad, and then you took off running! I found you in the boathouse hiding under a tarp! Slughorn gave you some dreamless sleep potion." Lily was now crying. He just stared at her, his eyes still narrowed, but his mouth was hanging open slightly.

"I…I…" Severus stuttered. He let go of her wrists and he stepped back. "I…I can't remember…"

"Sev, I'm so sorry!" Lily stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. "You're ok, I know you are. It was just one thing. One thing and we're over that now, aren't we?"

"Can…I…Lily…" he grasped her upper arms and pushed her way. With a frustrated sigh, he reached up and cupped her cheek.

"Sev…" she raised her eyebrows, her lips curled upwards in a small smile as she leaned forward a bit more. Her eyes sparkled as he leaned down as well. Standing on her tip toes she leaned closer to him.

"Lily…" he whispered. She was closing in, about to press her lips to his. He reached up and ran his long fingers through her slightly tangled hair. He suddenly pulled back a bit and his eyes widened slightly. "Sh-Shouldn't you wash you hair? It's kind of dirty."

"Sev?" Lily pulled back looking slightly shocked. She looked at him, backing away. She couldn't help but smile as a deep blush crept up into his cheeks.

"S-sorry." he mumbled, backing away.

"I'll just shower then. I'll be out in a few minutes." she sighed as he turned to go to the door. "You're ok, right?"

"I…uh…I guess." he nodded, glancing over at her. She smiled and he blushed again before leaving. As he left, he went into the room to see Mary and Sirius just talking quietly.

"Bloody hell, Snape, what did she do to you? You're as red as a beet." Sirius chuckled.

"Shut it." Severus snapped, his mind reeling as he thought about everything Lily said to him. How had he not remembered what happened? He never remembered overreacting like that and showing his own vulnerability and weakness.

"She must really like you enough to snog you senseless." Mary joked. Severus narrowed his eyes and sneered at her.

"Shut. It." he said through gritted teeth.

"Well she must've. But, only virgins and fourth years blush like that after a snog fest." Sirius chuckled, intending it only as a harmless joke. Severus felt the sting of it as an insult.

"At least I haven't slept with every girl I lay my eyes on. You tell them you love them and then you leave them!" Severus snapped.

"How would you know? You don't even know what love is, you cold hearted git!" Sirius stood up and glared at Severus, who would have had the distinct advantage of being taller if he hadn't stepped back and hunched his shoulder's at the comment. It had stung him deep inside. The truth was, he didn't really know what love is. No one had ever loved him, and one day when he looked at Lily and he felt his stomach do a somersault and he suddenly realized how truly beautiful she was, it took him weeks to figure out what he was feeling.

"Sirius, stop!" Mary jumped up and grabbed Sirius' arm, pulling him back a step.

"You bastard, don't _ever_ question my honor." Sirius snapped. He made a motion like he was going to reach into his robes and grab his wand, but he thought twice about it when he saw all the emotion leave Severus' eyes and was replaced with a look of betrayal.

"I should've never even thought about trusting you." Severus backed another step away. "I may not remember the little show that I made last night, but I can remember every time someone has betrayed me. I shouldn't trust anyone."

"You're the one who had to over react! You can't even take a virgin joke!" Sirius said in his own defense.

"That's because I'm not!" and it was that moment that Lily, who had hurriedly washed her hair and cast a quick drying charm, chose to step out of the bathroom. But no one realized, so Severus kept talking. "I had one of the most beautiful women ever to walk through the halls of Hogwarts throwing herself at my feet!"

"Besides Evans, who in my mind is extremely foolish for getting herself involved with you, who would dare try to get themselves in your greasy trousers?" Sirius questioned rudely.

"I'm sure you'd be delighted to know that your dear cousin Narcissa wouldn't want me to kiss and tell, now would she?" Severus smirked, cocking his head to the side as a look of realization played across Sirius' handsome face.

"You shagged my cousin? Bloody hell, Malfoy wasn't good enough so she had to take you too? She really was too much of a bleeding heart." Sirius narrowed his eyes at Severus.

"You had sex with Narcissa Black?" Lily cried from the other side of the room. Her jaw was hanging open and her emerald eyes were narrowed in fury. Severus looked over, shocked that Lily had heard his confession. Mary jumped up and grabbed Sirius, dragging him to the door and out of the room without another word.

"I…I did," was all Severus could say.

"When? How? _Why_ didn't you tell me?" Lily stomped up to him.

"The loss of one's virginity at a young age is not something that one broadcasts to the public." Severus cringed as he waited for Lily's verbal attack to come.

"I'm not the public! When did it happen? How? Tell me!" Lily snapped at him, glaring harshly at him. Her hands were balled into fists at her sides, like it was taking every ounce of her self control not to slap him. Self control that was quickly slipping away.

"Fourth year. On my birthday. Cissy pulled me into a cupboard after I got out of Transfiguration and started snogging me. She started pulling off her clothes and told me it was my birthday present. I just lost it and the next thing you know I was…you know…doing it. But there was never another time! I promise that was the only time!" Severus told her, trying to calm her down. He could tell she was getting angrier though, as her face was nearly as red as her hair.

"It better have been one time! I will not _even_ touch you if you shagged that diseased whore more than once!" Lily snapped. "You're lucky if I'll touch you now!"

"I told you I was sorry! Do I have to bloody apologize for being a hormonal teenager?" Severus snapped back, getting tired of being pushed around. After the supposed incident that Lily described, he decided that now he would have to start redeeming himself.

"No, but you could try not to shag every girl who spreads her legs for you! Even if there's only been one!" Lily raised her voice almost yelling.

"I assure you, Lily, I am _not_ like Potter. I have no intentions of shagging anyone but you." Severus took a step forward, standing at a somewhat aggressive stance.

"And you assume that I'd want to shag you? You are disgusting!" and before she could control it, her hand was flying up and her palm struck him hard against the cheek. The sound of skin striking skin echoed in the room. Instantly, she regretted her words and her actions. Severus took a terrified step back as his hand shot up to his stinging cheek. He trembled slightly as he backed away from her. "Oh Sev…I-I didn't mean it…I'm sorry…" she stepped forward but he held his hands up in front of him.

"Stop! Get away! Go…get away!" he croaked. Trying to step off to the side, he stumbled and fell to his knees.

"Sev!" Lily rushed over to him, sinking to her knees beside him.

"Get away!" he pushed her away and she fell backwards. Scrambling, he pushed himself up and stood. Lily, slightly disoriented from the fall, looked up at him. He had his wand in his hand as he backed away from her towards the door. Before she could say anything, he was gone.

Shoving herself off the floor, she ran to the door and opened it quickly. "Sev!" she called down the corridor. Panicking, she ran down the dark corridor until she reached the larger one. Severus was nowhere to be seen. "Sev!" she called again, feeling her eyes burn with tears. She felt absolutely horrible! How could Severus ever heal and love her like the image in the mirror if she kept treating him like that?

Running as fast as she could, she dodged past people in the corridors until she reached the Grand Staircase. Looking around for someone who might be able to help her, she found none. With a strangled sigh, she ran down the staircases, yelling Severus' name. Several Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws offered to join in on the search, and they proceeded to check the corridors and classrooms through out the school.

Lily felt horrible. Never in her life had she thought she'd get so upset at him, and over such a little thing too! She had barely spoken to him in their fourth year. Why was it her business who he lost his virginity to?

_Because I always thought it would be me._

XXXXXX

Severus took a deep breath as he heard Lily pass him. She was too distressed to look in every little crevice. As soon as she was past, he darted out and down another hallway to a staircase. His cheek still burned and their argument kept replaying itself in his mind. Did she really think he was disgusting? He didn't care whether she wanted to shag him or not, that was the last thing on his mind. And he couldn't stop wondering why that comment had set her off to the point of slapping him.

Another thing that he couldn't stop thinking about was Cissy. She had always looked out for him. He always went to her for his problems. Cissy had been the one who explained what the feelings that started coming up when he looked at Lily really were. Besides Lily, Cissy had been the only other person who had ever loved him. He understood the sacrifices she made the day she almost killed him. He understood them better than anyone else in the world.

Besides, just thinking of that time he spent with her made him shiver. Along with a day he had spent with Lily in Hogsmeade where she held his hand for the first time since they arrived at Hogwarts, which happened the day after his encounter in the broom closet with Cissy, he had enough images and feelings to fuel his dreams for months.

Finally, he reached the destination that he seemed to be heading to. He stood, alone, outside the hospital wing doors. Rolling his eyes slightly, he stepped through the doors. Madam Pomfrey was hovering over a box, looking impatient and frantic. She looked up when she heard him enter and a look of relief washed over her face.

"Thank goodness you are alright!" she called, rushed over to him. "After last night I didn't think you'd make it! I was thinking of making my way up to that room of yours to check on you!" As she came closer to him, she noticed the bright red handprint on his cheek. "My god, who did this to you?"

"Lily and I had a bit of a row." Severus replied. "I started it, it was no big deal." he sighed.

"No big deal! She slapped you! You certainly don't need to be around her if she's going to be just one more person to hurt you!" Madam Pomfrey declared. She reached into her box and pulled out a small vial. Pouring some of the salve onto her fingertips, she gently rubbed it on his stinging cheek.

"I told you I started it. I'm not good with girls and Lily and I were having a rough time of it already." Severus told her.

"You are a charming young man, Severus. You deserve better than this. What did you say, anyway?" Madam Pomfrey questioned.

"I-I'd rather not say." he replied as he blushed softly.

"Ah, one of those matters. Well, I must say that you are hardly ready for those actions in your state of mind! And to try and force her! Severus, that is a bit beyond what I thought even you would do." Madam Pomfrey pulled away, looking ashamed.

"What? I didn't force her to do anything! I wasn't trying to do anything!" he defended himself.

"Well dear, even I'm not blind enough not to notice some things. But, you should wait until Miss Evans is ready to engage in those activities." Madam Pomfrey told him. He noticed her eyes flick downwards for a split second and he suddenly felt very self conscious.

"I wasn't trying to! We just had an argument! I didn't…I wouldn't force Lily to do anything with me! I don't want to drive her way!" Severus snapped. Madam Pomfrey was getting the wrong image. With a disgusted sigh, he added, "It was about…you know…Narcissa."

"Oh." Madam Pomfrey looked as though the light bulb had turned on. She only knew of sexual encounters between students when they came to her for contraceptive potions, and she was the only staff member who didn't give detentions to students for becoming intimate. When Narcissa had come to her that day, stating she needed a potion, Madam Pomfrey had been surprised. She knew that her and Lucius had been engaged so Narcissa never asked for potions then. But when she came in that day, Madam Pomfrey had inquired as to what she was planning, and Narcissa let it slip that she was planning on giving young Severus "a birthday to remember".

"I let it slip about that day, and Lily heard. We got into an argument and I just said something to fire her up, that's all." Severus sighed.

"Well, she probably realized her mistake. I'm glad you came here, though. All this stress you're putting yourself through, I'm surprised you're still standing." Madam Pomfrey pulled out a vial and handed it to him. "Drink that, and then you may go."

XXXXXX

"Sev?" Lily questioned when she heard footsteps behind her. Turning, she discovered James Potter walking up behind her. She narrowed her eyes and folded her arms in front of her. "Get away from me."

"Lily, please…listen to what I have to say before you turn me away." James said in a pleading tone.

"I will not go out with you again! I love Severus," Lily told him.

"I know…but I want to apologize. Really apologize." James had never looked more sorry for whatever he wanted to apologize for in all the years Lily had known him.

"Fine. I'm listening, but make it quick." Lily huffed.

"I'm sorry for all the times I terrorized Snape, I'm sorry for insulting you for liking him and helping him, I'm sorry for turning against you when you needed comfort, I'm sorry for not getting a clue and continuing to torment Snape, I'm sorry for calling you the M word, I'm sorry for calling Snape that nickname for so many years, I'm sorry for hexing him when he was hurt, I'm sorry for being an insensitive jerk, I'm sorry for not leaving you alone, I'm sorry for saying that I wished Snape was dead because I really don't, I'm sorry for trying to make you jealous, and I'm sorry for going off with Joanna and bringing her into the fight because she only made things worse." James was out of breath by the time he finished what seemed to be a well rehearsed apology. Lily bit her lip as she thought about an answer, her mind absorbing all the words he had said. He seemed be hanging on to every shred of hope he had left as he watched her. Finally, she spoke.

"James Potter, someday I may forgive you. But I will never forget the things you said or done." Lily told him. He seemed to sigh out of relief and confusion at the same time.

"Can we ever be friends again? Just friends?" James asked.

"That's up to you and Severus. If you can accept him and he can tolerate you, than maybe." Lily told him. James nodded and left without another word, knowing that was the best he was going to get from her.

"Lily? Was he bothering you?" a familiar, low voice said from behind her.

"Sev!" she turned around and raced towards him, throwing her arms around him. "I'm so sorry, Sev! I didn't mean to hurt you! I was just jealous! I'm so sorry!"

"It's ok Lily, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have even brought it up." Severus hugged her tight as she buried her head into his shoulder.

"If it weren't for Sirius, I'm sure you wouldn't have. We'll have to have a few words with him later." Lily told him, turning her head and pressing her lips to the side of his neck. She heard him let out a contented sigh and she wrapped her arms around his neck and dug her fingers into his hair.

"Lily…fighting with you today hurt more than a thousand slaps. I just want you to know that no matter what happens, what you say or do, or what anyone else says or does, you are my one and only love." Severus whispered. He reached up and tugged one of her hands from his hair and brought it down to his chest right over his heart. "This heart beats only for you, Lily Evans."

"Oh Sev…" she grinned up at him, then rested her head on his shoulder. "I love you."

They stood like that for a few minutes, ignoring the whistles, hoots, and whispers that passed by them. Finally, Lily pulled away from him slightly. She ran the hand that had been over his heart up to his shoulder, and then down his arm. Never losing contact with him, she ran her hand down and entwined her fingers with his.

"I want to show you something," she said, still smiling.

"What?" he questioned, following her as she led him back up the staircase.

"It's a thing I found. A mirror. It shows the future, or the brightest part of your future! I want you to see it!" Lily told him.

"My entire future will be bright if I spend it with you," he told her. She smiled wider, and tugged on his hand.

"It's amazing, Sev. That's where I was last night! I fell asleep in front of it accidentally. But you won't believe it when you see it," Lily said excitedly.

"What do you see in it?" Severus asked her.

"Oh…I see myself holding a baby. Not sure if it's a boy or girl, but it has my eyes and your black hair. And you're there. You walk up next to me and standing, smiling at the baby in my arms. We're married, too. The rings are wonderful. You, Sev, are handsome. You fill out and get muscle on those arms of yours. And you look happy. We both do. But you'll see. If that's my happiest moment than it'll probably be yours too if we spend the rest of our lives together!" Lily told him. Severus visualized the entire scene as Lily described it. He smiled as he thought of marrying Lily. Hopefully the mirror told the truth…

"Do you think that it's a long ways off?" Severus asked, curious.

"I don't know, maybe right after graduation or something. We don't look very old, but just enough that it's noticeable," she replied.

"Where is this mirror?" he wondered.

"That old classroom across from our room!" she tugged on his hand, nearly jogging with excitement. She had been waiting for the perfect moment to show the mirror to Severus since she discovered it. Excitedly, she drug him up to the fourth floor to the heavy wooden door. Pushing it open, she towed him to the mirror. He stood beside her as she watched herself holding the baby and the handsome older Severus appear.

"See Sev, just there. You and I and the baby!" She pointed. He had a somewhat disappointed look on his face as he watched the sight in the mirror play out before him.

There was no Lily in the picture he saw. Only himself. He was older, much older. There were a few worry lines on his face. He was dressed in long black robes and a black cloak that billowed around his ankles. He had a small smile on his face as he turned around to see a young girl running up to him. She had long, flowing black hair and bright, emerald green eyes. She jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him. He was laughing as he twirled her around and she dropped to her feet on the ground. It appeared that she was around eleven. Proudly, she stood, pointing to the blue and bronze badge with an eagle sitting on it. She was a Ravenclaw. She was his daughter.

But there was no Lily.

"Don't you see us?" Lily asked, her smile faded.

"N-no. I see myself and a girl. She is our daughter, that's for sure. Your nose and eyes and my height and hair. She's a Ravenclaw. It looks like she just got sorted." Severus told her, still looking at the mirror. "You…aren't there."

"What?" Lily's brow furrowed. "How can…you just said…"

"I thought…but maybe…maybe things in the future change." Severus wondered as he squeezed her hand. They both stood in silence for a few more minutes, watching their futures in the mirror. Severus' stomach growled loudly, breaking the silence.

"Hungry, Sev?" Lily giggled. He smirked and nodded.

"Perhaps we could go to the kitchen and request something from the house elves?" Severus raised an eyebrow and looked down at his beautiful Lily. She smiled at him and nodded. "I don't quite feel up to eating in the Great Hall just yet."

* * *

**Hope you guys liked this! After the fiasco of my laptop crashing, I had the loverly chance to rewrite most of the chapter. Thanks so much to Black-Wolf Dog for helping and coaching me along through my crisis...my ususal oocness note applies, however I was extremely proud of this chapter because I felt like there was progress made! If you agree, click the button and review!! **


	17. Classes

Nope, Not mine.

"Albus, I have spoken with some of the other teachers. It is our understanding that Severus is returning to classes today?" Minerva McGonagall asked as she walked alongside the headmaster. It was a quiet Monday morning before the students were awake and the teachers often took strolls through the silent corridors.

"Yes, I happened upon Miss Evans and Mr. Snape yesterday in the library. I noticed he was attempting to catch up on a few Arithmancy assignments and an essay for Potions and I asked him if he was well enough to return to classes. He seemed determined." Dumbledore replied. His hands were folded in front of him, the long sleeves of his robes hanging from his wrists.

"He'll start back in my class tomorrow afternoon. I'm not sure if he'll be able to keep up with any of the course work. He's missed so much. Don't forget, Albus, you were concerned that the boy may be forced to drop a few subjects or even be held back a year." Minerva told him. Ever since the incident in the Great Hall on Friday night McGonagall had been feeling somewhat guilty for being so prejudiced towards the young Slytherin boy.

"Severus is a smart boy, and I believe he is capable of catching up. I am thinking of asking Poppy this afternoon when it would be prudent to begin using Legilimency to begin the next stage of his healing," Albus said. Minerva let out a heavy sigh as they continued their lazy stroll through the corridors.

"Why won't you agree to send him to St. Mungo's? Do you feel as though it will be better to cram his brain full of more things to think about? What if it makes him worse? The boy is unpredictable; we don't know what will happen to him! Poppy's been watching the boy like hawk. She doesn't even know what will happen to him." McGonagall held up her hands and sighed once more.

"I have said it once, and I will say it again: that boy has everything he needs to recover here at Hogwarts!" Albus said, his tone growing slightly agitated. This wouldn't be the first time that he has had this conversation.

"And what happens when the poor boy has to go home! Don't you even pretend that the issue of his parents is out, either." Minerva narrowed her gaze and watched Dumbledore out of the corner of her eye.

"He will turn seventeen in a couple of months. If he doesn't wish to return to his parents then, he won't have to." Dumbledore replied.

"Albus, I cannot believe that you would turn on this boy after everything that you've promised him. Everything you've promised to do, you'll forget? You need to forget your predjudices." Minerva huffed.

"What ever do you mean? I hold no prejudices towards students," Dumbledore said.

"From the moment that boy was sorted into Slytherin you started thinking he was like Riddle. You know that he is not." Minerva almost scowled. Dumbledore didn't respond as they kept walking.

XXXXXX

Lily balanced a phial of potion, a covered tray, and her wand as she pushed the door open with her shoulder. It was still early and she had been the only one up. Not wanting to rush Severus anymore than she had to, she started going to the kitchen early in the morning to get breakfast while the house elves busied themselves with preparations for the rest of the students.

The day before, Lily had asked Severus what he wanted to do, and he led her to the library. She was slightly thankful for this, as she had a twelve inch charms essay she needed to finish. Severus had barely spoken a word to her the entire time they were in the library, though. His large nose had been buried in his Arithmancy book while he scribbled away on parchment for the first hour, and after that he had worked on Potions essays he had missed. Occasionally, she heard him mumbling to himself as he would tear off a piece of parchment and scribble on it and shove it in his book. Lily had forgotten how amusing he was to watch while he studied.

Setting the tray and phial on the parchment and book covered desk, Lily sat down on the edge of Severus' bed, where he was sleeping soundly. She mentally went over the questions she was going to ask him when he woke up. The last couple of days, Severus had been having memory problems in the morning. Madam Pomfrey told her that the best way to help his memory was to ask him questions as soon as he woke up. Despite what people thought, it turned out that Severus seemed better when he was kept thinking.

Lily placed her hand on his upper arm and shook him gently. He let out a low groan and rolled onto his back, stretching his arms. He opened his eyes slowly as he yawned.

"Lily?" he muttered. She smiled down at him.

"What day is it, Sev?" she asked.

"Er…Monday." He yawned again, reaching down and pulling the blankets up to his chin.

"Where did we spend yesterday?"

"Mmmm…library." he rubbed the palms of his hands against his eyes.

"What did you do in the library?"

"Study."

"What did you study?" Lily rolled her eyes slightly when he turned back on his side, only now he faced her.

"Potions…Arithmancy…" came his muffled answer.

"What are we going to be doing today?" she asked. There was a small paused as she watched his brow furrow for a moment. He looked up at her, his eyelids heavy as he looked up at her with his solid black eyes.

"Classes." Severus replied. He stretched his long legs and yawned again.

"Good. Now get up." She giggled. He groaned again as he sat up.

"Why?" he pushed his hair out of his face as he watched her. She was already up and lively, and it almost bugged him. In all the mornings he spent in Slytherin, no one got up early. On the weekends, no one woke up until eleven or noon. And no one in the Slytherin common room was ever lively.

"We have to get you back on a regular schedule. You're going to eat, then shower, and then get dressed. Don't forget to drink your potion, it's on the desk beside the breakfast tray. I was hoping you could help me with the Potions essay after you get around. You've been gone for months and you're almost all ready caught up in that class." Lily was chattering away as she pulled the cover off the tray to reveal two plates of bacon, eggs, and sausage.

"I can help you with the essay. It was easy." Severus told her as he moved to sit at the desk.

"You're brilliant." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, and was kind of surprised when he leaned towards to her. Blushing, she continued talking. "What classes do you have? I never knew what you got on your O.W.L.s."

"Uh…Potions, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Transfiguration, Arithmancy, and Ancient Runes. I got Outstanding on all but Charms, but I got an Exceeds Expectations on that." Severus told her.

"You really are brilliant, taking so many classes. But, I thought you hated Charms, Transfiguration, and Herbology?" Lily smirked, knowing he once loathed the first two subjects because it had taken him weeks just to get some of the simplest charms down perfect and he once tried to transfigure a quill into a flower, but ended up burning his eyebrows off.

"Charms and Transfiguration are basic for any wizard, and not taking them makes me seems stupid, which I certainly am _not_. Herbology is good for knowing different plants for potion making, you know that." Severus told her.

"Do you still have you schedule? We never really got a chance to compare what classes we have together," Lily said. He bit into a piece of sausage as he nodded towards his school bag, lying on the floor beside his bed. Lily reached in a pulled out his schedule, which he had not yet memorized, only having attended classes for the first week.

"Merlin, Sev, you don't have a single free period today! Your schedule is packed!"

"Don't need free period…" he muttered around the food in his mouth.

"Nonsense, Sev. Catching up is going to be a lot harder than you think. You're smart but not that smart." Lily raised an eyebrow as she examined his schedule.

"Lily, you're wonderful, but you don't know half the struggles I have been through. Before, my 'friends' piled their homework on me and threatened that they'd let the rest of the house know I was a half-blood - which they did anyway - if I didn't do it. If I didn't do their homework first, then they hurt me. The oafs barely knew anything to pass their exams." Severus told her in between bites of his food.

"Sev, that's awful! Why didn't you ever say anything? I would've helped you," Lily told him, leaning against the desk and watching him. She reached behind her and pulled sausage off of her own plate.

"I didn't want you to get involved. Given your…blood status…they wouldn't have treated you kindly," Severus said.

"Is it always about blood status with those people?" Lily narrowed her eyes, still standing above him.

"Yes. Blood status and loyalty. There are two things they hate: traitors and Mudbloods," Severus told her. His eyes widened suddenly and his mouth was left hanging open slightly. Lily stepped away, glaring at him.

"Here we go again." She snapped.

"I'm sorry." Severus seemed to sink in his chair as he looked away from her. "You just have to understand…six years of being around those people…and my mum's family…they just all think that way and having it around me all the time, sometimes it's just not that easy to change." Lily just went over to her bed and sat down, sorting through her school bag.

"Sev, wasn't your mother's family all purebloods?" she asked.

"Yeah. My mum was the last pureblooded Prince." He sighed, remembering many holidays as a small child where his mother had taken him to family gatherings where they had rejected him and treated him like a disease. They had not treated his mother well either, but the Prince family had no problem calling him a bastard.

"That must've been horrible for you." Lily sighed. His response was a soft grunt as he turned away from her, his shoulders slightly hunched as his black hair fell in a curtain around his face. She knew he hated talking about his childhood more than anything else. One of the reasons his mother had neglected him was the fact that the noble pureblooded Prince family had practically disowned her for marrying a muggle and ending the line.

"I…I'll go take a shower," Severus sighed, sounding depressed. Lily felt a pang of sympathy for him, knowing that his life had been a lot harder than hers had ever been. She knew that she was over reacting to his slip of the one word that offended her the most.

"Alright." Lily looked watched as he pulled his new robes from his trunk and trudging into the bathroom. "Poor Severus."

XXXXXX

"So, be sure to include the bit in your conclusion about the use of the bezoar as an option for the antidote," Severus told her. Lily nodded as she scribbled away on the bottom of the parchment.

"Got it." Lily finished the last word and looked up. Severus was shoving four huge books into his back and a few rolls of parchment. He was also pulling out small scraps of parchment covered in words. He would read them, then shove some back in his bag and others in the pockets of his robes. "You are taking too many classes." Lily smirked as she rolled her essay up and shoved it in her bag, which only had three books in it and half the pieces of parchment.

"Just enough. Have to keep the options open." He muttered, impatiently shoving a stray lock of hair behind his ear and picking up another scrap of parchment.

"Merlin, Sev, it's nearly nine! We have to get to potions!" Lily grabbed her bag and hung it over her shoulder. He didn't respond verbally, but he shoved the remainder of the scraps to the bottom of his bag. Sliding his wand into his robes, he grabbed his bag and slipped out of the room, shortly followed by Lily.

XXXXXX

Lily and Severus slipped into the dungeons right before class started, but their table towards the front was still empty. As Severus walked towards the front, people whispered and looked when he passed them. Lily caught sight of the grim looking marauders sitting on the other side of the class. Remus was looking pale, sick, and ashamed. James and Sirius both had unreadable expressions, and Peter – who had hardly been involved at all – looked like his normal mousy self.

"Ah! Severus, so glad to have you back!" Slughorn said jovially. Severus raised an eyebrow as he sat down, not really acknowledging the professor. "Everyone please get out you books! As you know, we've been working on cures and antidotes! Severus, m'boy, has Miss Evans been letting you know what's been going on in the class?" Slughorn was still standing beside Severus and Lily's table.

"Yes, sir." Severus muttered quietly. He pulled his dirty, torn copy of _Advanced Potion-Making_ and set it on the desk.

"Then I trust that you, of all people, can remind us all about Golpalott's Third Law?" Slughorn was still smiling as he looked at Severus, who narrowed his eyes as he thought. Lily was looking slightly worried.

"Golpalott's Third Law states that the antidote for a blended poison will be equal to more than the sum of the antidotes for each of the separate components." Severus stated, word for word – which was most unlike him – from the book. He paused, and Slughorn opened his mouth to praise him for his knowledge, but Severus continued to speak. "If you accept Golpalott's Third Law as true, you are thinking of course on the assumption that the ingredients of the potion you have are correctly identified."

"Very nice! Very, very nice Mr. Snape! Couldn't have said it better myself. Ten points to Slytherin!" Slughorn grinned as he waddled across the front of the class. There were only three other Slytherins in the class besides Severus, and they were all girls. And they all rolled their eyes and shot dirty looks at Severus from behind his back. "Now, like Severus was telling us so wisely, Golpalott's Third Law only works if the ingredients are correctly identified and separated into individual ingredients. But our primary goal is not simply finding the antidote for each ingredient in and of themselves, but instead to find that added component that will, by an almost alchemical process, transform these ingredients into something that will not harm, but instead heal the damages that have been done."

Lily was quickly scribbling notes on a piece of parchment as Slughorn spoke, but Severus looked absolutely bored. She sent him an annoyed glare as she finished her last word. He was tapping his quill on his parchment, watching as a splotch of ink was growing rounder. Slughorn was instructing them to look at the list of antidotes on the next page. Severus pulled his book toward him and slowly flipped the page while Lily was quickly scanning the antidotes. He dipped his quill in the pot of ink and began to

scribble right across the page.

"Sev!" Lily gasped when she saw what he had done. He shoved the book toward her and sighed loudly. She read what he had written right across the page:

_Just shove a bezoar down their throats._

"Who carries a bezoar around in their pocket?" Lily scoffed. Severus smirked and reached into the pocket of his robe, pulling out a shriveled, brown kidney shaped stone. Looking shocked, Lily said, "Where did you get that?"

"Supply cupboard. Have a whole box of them in my trunk." Severus shrugged and placed the stone back in his pocket.

"Alright everyone, each of you come and take one of these phials from my desk. They contain a potion in which you are to create an antidote for it by the end of class!" Slughorn instructed. Groaning, the class stood and trudged up to Slughorn's desk. But two of the Slytherin girls and Joanna didn't miss the opportunity to roughly push Severus to the floor to get to the desk first. Lily shot them mean looks and pulled Severus to his feet. The other girls just laughed as they walked away.

"Poor baby Severus…needs his Mudblood to protect him!" they all laughed. Severus scowled and dusted off his robes. Lily handed him the phial of potion as they went back to their desks. He was hanging his head, not even touching his cauldron or anything.

"Sev, don't think about it. It's ok." Lily whispered.

"I don't want it to be like this all the time," Severus told her.

"It'll get better, Sev. They'll get over it." Lily was situating her cauldron over a fire. Severus sighed and picked up the phial. He uncorked it and lifted it up to his nose. Sniffing the potion, he uncorked it and dumped it in his cauldron.

"What are you doing?" Lily wondered.

"It's easy. It's sickening potion. It'll make you spew till you croak." Severus told her. They both made their way over to the supplies and gathered what they needed. They went back to the table and worked in silence. After fifteen minutes, Severus' antidote was nearly finished, while Lily was still struggling.

"How are you doing it?" Lily scowled, watching as he stirred once and then stepped away.

"Book says counterclockwise, but if you want it to brew faster and stronger stir clockwise. I figured that out third year." Severus responded.

"Why would you need to know that?" Lily shook her head.

"Someone thought it would be funny to put a sickening potion in my morning pumpkin juice. I'll never forget the smell." Severus told her.

"And may I ask why you keep a bezoar in you pocket?" Lily raised an eyebrow.

"Avery poisoned me while I slept second year. I woke up, but I was paralyzed. Narcissa found me and took me to the Hospital wing. Third year, your Black and Potter tried to 

poison me again, and that's when I thought of the bezoars. Always have one with me." Severus took the stone in his hand and sighed.

"No wonder you're so paranoid. How many times have they done things like that?" Lily wondered aloud.

"Too many to count. But sadly, between my housemates and Potter, this place is still a nicer home than any place else I've ever been," Severus told her. Lily turned away and continued stirring her potion.

"Two minutes left!" Slughorn called from across the room. Severus grabbed a couple of crystal phials and began to fill them full, leaving half his potion still in the cauldron.

"What are you doing now?" Lily questioned. She hadn't been Severus' partner in potions since fourth year, and she had forgotten all of the strange things that he did during class.

"You never know when you might need some." He smirked as he slid the two crystal phials into his back. Just as he said that, Slughorn waddled his way over.

"Let's see what we've got from my star students. Miss Evans, lets see…" Slughorn looked into Lily's cauldron and examined what she had done. "Hmmm…not quite what I would've expected from you." Slughorn looked disappointed. Lily sighed, then got an idea. She held up a finger to single that she still had something for the professor. Severus, who was standing and examining his perfect antidote, had lifted his hand from the bezoar so that he could poke around in the simmering ingredients. Lily grabbed it and handed it to Slughorn.

"A bezoar protects is an antidote for most poisons." Lily smiled sweetly. Slughorn stared at it, puzzled for a moment, and then smiled. Severus looked horrified as Slughorn awarded Lily ten points for her nerve and intelligence. Slughorn turned towards Severus' cauldron.

"Now, let's see what Severus has for us." Slughorn said as he examined Severus' potion. "A perfect potion as always." Slughorn chuckled as he moved on.

"He took it." Severus watched as Slughorn walked away, pocketing the bezoar Lily had had.

"Oh, Sev it's not that bad. You said you had a box in your trunk." Lily looked up at him and slipped her hand into his, tugging gently to get him to turn to her.

"I know, but I hate it when people take my things." Severus grumbled, turning back to his cauldron to clean up.

"Alright everyone, for homework I want twelve inches on the properties of popular poison ingredients and their antidotes!" Slughorn was telling them as the class began cleaning up their work stations.

"Sev, what class do you have next?" Lily wondered.

"Charms."

"I have a free period. I'll walk with you," Lily said. Severus just nodded in reply.

XXXXXX

"You sure you're going to be fine, Sev?" Lily asked. Severus rolled his eyes as they came up to the charms class.

"Fine, Lily. I'm not an invalid." Severus growled.

"I know, it's just that…"

"Fine, Lily. I'll be fine."

"Alright. I'll see you at lunch." Lily ran her hands up his chest and stepped closer to him. "You know Sev…" she lowered her voice and stood on her toes so she could whisper in his ear. "You looked really sexy brewing that potion today."

"Oh really?" Severus raised an eyebrow. She was smiling up at him.

"Yes of course…" she grinned, and started giggling. His eyebrow leveled out and he looked puzzled.

"What?"

"I'm sorry; it's just sort of difficult imagining you in the throes of passion with Narcissa Black." She giggled. Severus just rolled his eyes.

"Not that again." He grumbled. Lily had taken every opportunity she could to tease him about his previous encounters with the female species. "It wasn't exactly passionate, Lily."

"Oh passionate or not, I bet she enjoyed it." Lily smirked as one of his eyebrows raised and his thin lips drew tighter. "You know what they say, Sev. Big nose," she paused drew her hand up to his thin face and trailed a finger down the large appendage. Then she trailed the finger down his chest and to the waistband of his trousers, "Big…you know…" she blushed. His other eyebrow shot up as he looked down at her.

"I suppose you'll just have to find that out for yourself." His voice was low and silky, nearly making her knees give out from underneath her.

"You should get to class." She whispered, leaning up to kiss him. "Don't get yourself into too much trouble, Sev. Oh, and watch out for Rayna Brooks. Rumor has it that you're her new target these days." Lily told him.

"That blonde girl that follows guys around and tries to snog them?" Severus groaned as Lily nodded. "I always thought I was too ugly for her affections. For nearly six years I tried to stay away from her and one little incident and the freak starts stalking me?"

"Sorry Sev, but all of this has hardly been a _little_ incident." Lily smiled sympathetically. "And you are not ugly!"

"Face it, Lily, your boyfriend is a greasy, nasty, dirty, ugly git." Severus sighed. Lily narrowed her eyes and slapped his chest.

"Stop insulting yourself. You are brilliant and handsome." Lily told him. "Besides, if anyone insults you, I just tell them beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

Just then, the bell rang and Lily hugged him quickly before pushing him towards the door of the classroom. He trudged into the class to find the Slytherins and Ravenclaws busy getting out their books and parchment. He slipped into the first available seat beside the door.

"Severus Snape?" a sugary sweet voice questioned from next to him. As he pulled his book out, he looked over and felt his stomach flip over. A girl in Ravenclaw robes was sitting next to him, her blonde hair cascading down her back. She was smiling at him stupidly as he set the book on the table.

"Yeah." Severus gulped. "Rayna, right?" he cringed as she nodded quickly.

"Alright, class! Please open your books to page fifty-three, and read chapter five! Take notes, please!" Professor Flitwick's squeaky voice told them from the front of the class. Severus opened his book and tried to begin reading. He tensed when the girl next to him scooted closer to him. He could tell she was more intent on staring at him than reading the chapter.

This was going to be a long class period.

XXXXXX

After Charms, Severus met Lily outside of the class. She had greeted him and gave him a quick kiss before grabbing his hand and leading him down the corridor. They began walking to the staircase. Walking in silence, they held hands as they headed to lunch. 

But as they approached the Great Hall, Severus began to tense up. Lily tugged on his arm.

"I don't really want to." Severus stopped and started backing away.

"Come on, Sev. You'll never get over it if you don't go in there. You can sit with the Hufflepuffs, who are scared of you. You can sit with the Ravenclaws and get smothered by Rayna. You can sit with the Slytherins who hate you. Or, you can sit at the Gryffindor table with me." Lily told him.

"Or I can not go in there at all and just eat lunch in the kitchen or something." Severus backed away again.

"Sev, don't be foolish! I'm going in there so I can talk to people. You know, be social." Lily told him. "Sometimes your company just isn't enough."

"I try to be social and I get poisoned by housemates and pinned to the floor by 'friends'." Severus snapped. She rolled her eyes and tugged on his hand. "Stop! Why are you making me do this? I don't want to go in there!"

"Sev, stop being difficult! You fight me at every turn! Do you _want_ to not get along with me? You know, this is why I was never sure a relationship between us would work!" Lily dropped his hand and folded her arms in front of her. "You are being selfish!"

"Selfish? I've never been selfish! I never complained about anything! I can't help the things that happen to me while trying to please you! Is that why you're even standing here? Because you found I was only trying to please you and you felt guilty? If you don't love me Lily, then stop playing games with me!" Severus was nearly yelling.

"I'm not playing games with you! Now you're being selfish!" Lily snapped back.

"No, you're the selfish one, Lily! Just because you think you're stuck with me doesn't mean you have to treat me like I'm scum!"

"I'd never do that! I can't believe you'd accuse me of treating you bad!"

"Stop pretending, then! Stop acting like you love being around me and that you love me! I know that you only were friends with me when we were younger because you felt sorry for me!"

"Sev…" Lily trailed off, knowing he was partially right. When they were nine years old, she had only befriended him because she felt sorry for him.

"You know, I can't help the fact that I love you with all my heart." Severus said quietly. "I would do anything for you, Lily. I would die for you. But don't think you have to return 

the favor." He turned around and started walking away. Lily was rooted to her spot, tears spilling out of the corner of her eyes.

"Lily, are you guys fighting again?" a voice asked from behind her. Lily glanced behind to see Mary walking up to her.

"I pushed him too far, again. I keep forgetting he's not well! I just pushed him too far!" Lily cried.

"Maybe if you just gave him time by himself for a moment, he'll come around." Mary tugged on her friends arm and pulled her into the Great Hall. They sat at the table with the normal group. Remus was looking slightly surprised as she sat down, by herself. James and Sirius were wondering as they noticed Lily had been crying. No one said anything as Lily began to pick at some food she scooped onto her plate. There was ten minutes of awkward silence between the broken group of friends.

As they ate, if took them a moment to notice the shadow that came over the table. Sirius looked up to see a frowning Severus standing behind Lily.

"Oy, Lily." Sirius pointed behind her. She looked up and saw Severus standing behind her, his hair hanging down in its usual curtain like way.

"Sev?" Lily questioned, not knowing if she should be angry with him or not.

"C-can I join you?" he asked quietly. She felt her heart melt at how timid and vulnerable he sounded. Scooting over, she motioned for him to sit next to her. She could tell he was trembling with unease as he sat stiffly next to her. "I'm s-sorry." He whispered.

"I love you, Sev." Lily told him. He didn't reply as he looked around at all the people watching him.

"Why are they staring?" he asked her. Lily couldn't help but laugh as he stared at her. She noticed the troubled look in his eyes and knew that he was very uncomfortable around all the people that had hurt him the last couple of days.

"We weren't expecting you here." Lily smiled at him. He didn't return the smile, nor did he reply. Before he could, everyone's attention was drawn towards a third year named Erik came running up waving a copy of the _Daily Prophet_.

"They've caught them! They've caught them!" he yelled, running up and slamming the paper down right between Severus and Lily. Lily grabbed the paper as everyone leaned in, interested. Severus was reading over Lily's shoulder as she read out loud.

"Former Hogwarts students Michael Avery, Alexander Mulciber, and Evan Rosier have been found in a small village outside of London hiding with three other known Death Eaters. Four muggle families had noticed strange lights in an abandoned house near 

their neighborhood and they called their local police. Aurors were notified of the disturbances before the police could arrive and they arrested the known Death Eaters and the three teenagers and sent them to Azkaban. Avery, Mulciber, and Rosier will be tried for being Death Eaters and for playing a part in the murder of their classmate Severus Snape."

"They still think that you're dead?" Sirius questioned, looking at Severus.

"Not everyone knows he was found alive." Lily said, glancing down at the paper.

"That's great! Now we don't have to worry about those guys coming around and trying to hurt Severus again!" Mary was on Lily's other side. Everyone was suddenly looking at Severus, waiting for him to say something.

"I…er…I'm just going to go now." Severus stood and walked away from the table and out of the Great Hall.

XXXXXX

Lily went up to their room to pick up her school bag and found Severus lying on his bed. He looked as though he was asleep with his arm draped across his eyes. When the door drifted closed and Lily stepped up to the bed, he looked up at her.

"Lily," he said as he sat up, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things to you. Yes, I was being selfish and if you don't really want to be in a relationship with me then I understand. It hurts, but I understand."

"No! No, no, no, no, no! I love you and I shouldn't have said that! It was wrong of me to try and force you to do something you didn't want to do. I shouldn't have accused you of being selfish. You never complained when I turned you away, you never said anything when I broke your heart, and you never, ever complained about the horrible things that happened to you!" Lily sat next to him. "You never cried about the bruises you got." She reached up and traced his jaw, remembering a time when she saw him trying to hide a huge black and purple bruise along his jaw. He had mentioned something about his father and a fist, but nothing more.

"I'm not a complainer. Lily, you have to realize, I don't want your love out of pity! I want you to love me because you do! Don't make any commitments if you can't say for sure, right now, that you love me for me." Severus told her. Lily just stared at him blankly. Her heart was pounding hard in her chest as she thought. Was he right? Did she only love him out of pity? _NO_._ I love him!_ But she just stared at him, not responding. "That's what I thought." He sighed, grabbing his bag up off the floor and headed to the door. "I'll see you in Defense."

"Severus! Wait!" Lily jumped up. He paused and turned back, fixing an emotionless expression on his face. His eyes looked like cold, bottomless pits and it nearly scared 

Lily. "You are the most horrible, mean, sarcastic, cruel person in the world. But I love you because, besides that one incident last year, you have never been horrible, mean, or cruel to me. Sarcasm is your nature, Sev, and I'm hoping that you're just being sarcastic."

"I already told you. I would do anything for you, Lily. I would die for you. But you are way too good for me. Why don't you just go run off with Potter or something?"

"Are you kidding me?" Lily sighed, frustrated. "I wouldn't do that! Just because he apologized doesn't mean I'd be run off with him!"

"Oh you wouldn't want to do that, would you? Apologies mean nothing, Lily!" Severus snapped.

"Does that mean your apologies mean nothing? Are you really sorry for calling me that name? Are you _really_ sorry for the nasty things you said to me?" Lily raised her voice. Severus' expression changed. He looked strange as his face contorted into an unreadable look.

"Lily…" he trailed off. He glanced away and looked back at her with narrowed eyes and his lip was curled upward in a snarl. If looks could kill, Lily would've been six feet under. "You ungrateful little…I can't believe that you'd question that! I nearly _died_ trying to make it up to you!" Severus growled. Before she could say anything, he was gone. Crying and distressed, she ran out of the room and dodged into the empty classroom.

The mirror was still sitting there. The image was still the same. And she loved Severus more than ever. But why wouldn't he believe her?

* * *

**Alright, I finally got this chapter done!! First off, I'd like to apologize for the lateness, sloppiness, lack of editing, and overall horribleness of this chapter. I also wanted to say that I didn't like this chapter. I didn't like making Lily seem like a horrible person, and I didn't like the way Sev acted in some parts either, but I felt it was necessary. And the arguments they are having kind of show that they are still not quite comfortable with the new circumstances that life (me) has put them in. So, normal ooc things apply. If you guys want more, then review!!**


	18. Making or Breaking Up

Nope, not mine.

**Warning: This chapter is mildly happy! So if you're in a bad mood, you may be cheered up. If you're in a good mood, prepare for it to be better! This chapter is dedicated to those people who are ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS at the people who decided to be greedy and change the date for Half-Blood Prince to JULY FRICKEN 19th OF FRICKEN 2009!! (if you can tell, that goes for me too...) So enjoy the wonderfulness of a happy chapter :D**

* * *

Narcissa couldn't believe her sister's nerve! Threatening her like that. And talking about poor Severus like that! Her heart ached when she read that he was not well. The lonely, invisible Severus she once knew would never have cried in public, nor would he have gained the sympathy of others. And when she insulted Lucius…that was the end of it! Bellatrix was going to get it!

"_Damn_…" Narcissa swore as she crumpled the letter in her hand. She had dreaded reading it, so she had left it lying on the table next to her chair in the sitting room. Bellatrix never had anything good to say. Especially not this time. Bellatrix was going to tell everyone everything because she thought it would make life fun. It was times like these Narcissa hated her sister.

"What is it, my sweet?" Lucius' low voice asked from behind her, sensing his wife's frustrations. Narcissa internally froze. She had not seen Lucius enter the room. He never came into the sitting room unless there was company. If he got a hold of the letter and read it, she would be either dead or on the door step.

"Nothing, dearest. Just my troublesome sister getting over enthusiastic about her relationship with Rodolphus. You know how I just don't like him." Narcissa faked a smile as Lucius rounded the chair and sat on the arm, looking down at her. Her heart pounded as she thought about Lucius grabbing the letter and reading that she had disobeyed the Dark Lord's orders and that Severus was still alive. Lucius knew about her little endeavor in the broom closet with the boy, and Severus had paid dearly for it. That wasn't what she was concerned about. If the Dark Lord heard that Severus was still alive, not only would he be hunted down and killed, she would be as well.

"I see…well, you've been troubled a lot lately. Perhaps you shouldn't worry too much about Bellatrix." Lucius slid his hand onto her shoulder and gripped it lightly. She looked up him.

"Yes, my love." she blinked at him and placed a tiny smile on her lips as he stood.

"I came to tell you that we were invited to dinner at the Dolohov's house. Their son is still in Hogwarts, isn't he?" Lucius looked down at his wife, nearly grimacing in the way she looked slightly intimidated.

"Yes, he is. As I recall, the Dark Lord was angry he did not partake in the delivery of the Snape boy. It is a wonder they are still around." Narcissa met Lucius' eyes, trying not to show how nervous he was making her.

"Well, since Macnair, Nott, and Goyle were caught with those three kids, the Dark Lord is keeping a tighter watch on when and where we are going places. He wants to be watching our every move to make sure we are not caught and accidently leak information to the ministry," Lucius said.

"A wonderful thing no one suspects us." Narcissa stood from the chair and stepped closer to Lucius.

"A wonderful thing I inherited my father's fortune." Lucius smirked. Narcissa didn't respond as she ducked her head down and glanced at the piece of parchment sticking out from her fisted hand.

"Excuse me, dearest, but I must write a response to my sister." Narcissa turned away and headed out of the sitting room to the large staircase.

XXXXXX

Severus could not have had a worse night. Usually, his mind was plagued with nightmares of the pains of the Cruciatus during his sleep. But the last night, his nightmares were of something different. He had dreamed seven different dreams. And in each dream, he lost Lily a different way. The first, she had told him he was worthless and went off with Potter. The second dream she had thrown a goblet of pumpkin juice at him and stomped off, saying she never wanted to see him again. The third, fourth, and fifth dreams were somewhat similar to dreams one and two. But six had him worried. In dream six, Lily was kidnapped and beaten by a hooded figure. The worst dream of them all of was dream seven. He had woken from dream seven and had to get up and go see if Lily was still breathing while she slept. In dream seven, they were sitting together in the dining room of a small cottage when the door was busted down and a flash of green light swept through the room and took Lily's life. He had cried for what seemed like hours after that image, until he had fallen back into a restless sleep.

He had woken, sometime later, to a ray of sunlight directing itself right over his bed. Grunting, he sat up and his gaze was immediately directed towards Lily's bed. It was completely empty and made. Her school bag was gone and it appeared as though she had already left. Panic momentarily hit him as he surveyed the room. Out of the corner of his eye, sitting on the desk, he saw a piece of parchment folded and propped against a small phial. His name was scribbled on the front in Lily's perfect handwriting. He stood and hurriedly grabbing the parchment and read it.

_Severus,_

_I want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you. I know that it may not seem like it sometimes, but you have to understand that I really do feel that way about you. I just wanted to say this because I heard you crying last night and it broke my heart because I knew…I just knew that you were crying because of me. Sev, I love you so much no matter what we're arguing about. So, I'll be in the Great Hall this morning if you want to talk. Remember, take your potion! Madam Pomfrey is serious about it, you have to take it. I know it tastes horrible, but you have to. _

_Love,  
__Lily_

Severus set down the letter and closed his eyes. He was washed over with a wave of relief as he grasped the phial of potion. Not even thinking, he downed it all in one gulp. Scooping his robes out of his trunk, he washed himself and dressed at record speed. He left his school bag on the floor, knowing he had a free period right away.

When he arrived at the Great Hall, he paused before entering. Slowly, he walked between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables, his eyes locked on the back of Lily's head, her silky red hair cascading down her back and over her shoulders. He walked up behind her and sat down in the open spot next to her, not even making eye contact with anyone.

Lily jumped as she sensed the presence of someone else next to her. She looked to see Severus sitting beside her. He was kind of looking at her, kind of not. His eyes held so many different emotions in them, it was impossible to tell all of them apart.

"Good morning, Severus," she said. He blinked at her for a moment, and he quickly glanced at Remus, Sirius, Mary, and James who were all watching him and Lily.

"Can we talk?" Severus asked quietly. Lily sighed, and then nodded. She stood and started walking away towards the entrance of the Great Hall. Severus followed a stride behind as she led him into the Entrance Hall and then to the cloudy outside. She stopped when they reached their favorite tree.

"I'm listening." Lily crossed her arms in front of him and watched him as he seemed to be struggling for words.

"Lily…I-I had these dreams last night…n-nightmares. And at the end of every nightmare, I lost you. In the last one, you…you were gone…forever…I just can't stand the thought of losing you and it…it would hurt _so_ much I-I don't think that I could go on living without you." Severus tried to hold himself together as he confessed to her. He felt the urge to start crying, but he wouldn't do it here. Meanwhile, Lily was absolutely speechless as she stared up at him. Her arms fell to her sides as she fought the same urge to cry.

"Oh Sev…you shouldn't say that." Lily whispered. "I never knew you loved me so much. Why didn't you ever say anything all these years?"

"I've been trying to tell you, but you never listened. Since the end of third year I tried to get you to understand. I knew you never thought of me as anything more than your first friend from the Wizarding World. I gave up trying at the beginning of fifth year, after you didn't believe me when I told you I loved you with every ounce of my being," Severus told her.

"I'm sorry…I just never thought you could love someone like that, let alone me," she said.

"Always, Lily. From the first time I set eyes on you." he stepped closer to her, reaching up and cupping her cheek in his hand.

"Sev…" she sighed, tipping her head and leaning into his palm.

"I need to hear it, Lily. I need you to say that you love me." he whispered. He was now so close to her that she could feel the warm breath slipping from his parted lips as his dark eyes drilled into hers with an intensity she had never seen before.

"I love you, Severus. I have loved you for as long as I can remember," she told him, never feeling more confident in her words. He seemed to step even closer to her. She ran her hands up his chest and hooked one around his neck while the other rested on his heart, which she could feel beating so quickly it might jump right out of his chest.

"I want to kiss you…" he whispered his eyes darting quickly to her lips and then back to her eyes.

"Then kiss me." she answered, her voice sounded strange and low to her, but she didn't care. She was focusing on Severus as he lowered his head and pressed his lips against hers. His mouth opened slightly as his tongue darted out and traced her bottom lip. Her lips parted as a small moan was stifled by his tongue slipping into her mouth and lightly stroking hers. Her knees soon became weak and she was hanging onto him for support as she returned the kiss with an amount of passion she didn't even know she had. Her tongue slipped into his mouth and began to explore. Soon, air became necessary and they pulled away, panting. Severus placed his hands on her hips and pulled her with him as he pressed his back against the tree, needing something to support himself with. They pressed their foreheads together as they still gasped for air.

"That was the most amazing kiss I've ever had." Lily whispered after a long, drawn out silence. He took a moment to respond.

"I've been wanting to do that for a long time." he sighed, his eyes still closed as he held her close.

"Sev…" Lily pressed her lips to his in another passionate kiss. He grabbed her waist and flipped them so that she was pressed against the tree. He slipped one of his legs between hers and kissed her back with such intensity and passion she thought she might explode from it all. Surprising even herself, she found her hands were travelling to the clasp of his outer robes. She undid it and pushed it off his shoulders. Her fingers danced down his chest and pushed up the gray sweater to reveal the white shirt underneath. With a groan, he pulled away and whipped the sweater over his head. Pressing his lips to hers, he undid the top button of her shirt and kissed his way down her neck to the place where her neck and her shoulder met.

"Merlin, Lily…" he groaned as he ground his arousal against her. He looked her in the eye and surprised her when she saw that his eyes were clouded with desire. Lily gasped and placed both hands on his chest and pushed him away.

"Stop!" she shrieked. He backed away, the look of desire replaced with confusion and fear. She was fumbling with the buttons of her shirt, trying to button them back up.

"I-I'm sorry, Lily. I didn't mean to rush you." Severus was now blushing as he fixed his own clothing.

"I'm sorry, Sev. I shouldn't have let it go that far." Lily suddenly felt bad as she looked him over, her eyes landing on the evident bulge in his trousers. Her face suddenly felt hot and turned bright red. He pulled his robes back on and tried to use them to cover himself. "I'm just not ready for that sort of thing." He just nodded in agreement as he turned away from her. She watched his back for a moment as he hung his head.

He willed the images and memories of everything that had just happened to _go away_. They weren't helping him at all. He wouldn't have traded the last few minutes for anything, but if she planned on taking him back to the castle anytime soon he needed to place them in the back of his mind. His cluttered, tortured, undisciplined mind. _Need to think of something else…toast…gargoyles…fish…McGonagall…problem solved!!_

"Sev, are you ok?" Lily wondered.

"Yes." he answered quickly, turning back to face her. "Shall we head back to the castle? I'm starving for some sausage right now. And I supposed I can attempt this thing you call, 'being social'."

"I've forgotten how funny you can be." Lily smiled, taking his hand in hers and leading him back to the castle.

XXXXXX

For the remainder of the day, Severus had a smile on his face. At breakfast, he had even shared a laugh with the four marauders. And when they left, Severus didn't mind when James walked out with them. Lily felt as though it was too good to be true, but as it turned out, nothing spoiled the day. The two of them had no classes together that day, but shared a free period at the end. At dinner, when their discussion reached the topic of studying, Severus proposed that they meet in the library after dinner to study as a group. Surprisingly, everyone agreed, including James.

That night, back in their room, Lily had managed to get another fabulous snog from Severus before they turned to go to bed. And not once did either of them wake up from a bad dream.

The next day seemed to start off just as great. Severus was smiling as he got up, which made Lily smile. She had never seen him smile this much in all the years they had been friends. But, she supposed that now that he was certain she returned his feelings nothing could break his happy mood. Well, almost nothing.

As they walked down the staircase, heading to the Great Hall for breakfast, they ran right into Professor Dumbledore. Oddly enough, it turned out that he was looking for them. Lily watched as all happiness drained from Severus' expression.

"Ah, Miss Evans and Mr. Snape, just the people I was looking for," Dumbledore said.

"What do you need, Professor?" Lily asked, reaching over and grasping Severus' hand.

"Madam Pomfrey has informed me that you seem to be making progress. Progress enough, that we would both like to begin your treatment," Dumbledore told them.

"Treatment? I've already been on treatment! I've been taking that bloody potion!" Severus snapped, surprising Dumbledore.

"I am to use Legilimency to help heal your mind. The Cruciatus can do horrible, painful things to a person's mind and if proper treatment doesn't happen soon, then you'll be worse as the years go on," the headmaster explained. Severus looked at Lily for a moment, almost asking her what he should do. Lily nodded, hoping it would encourage him.

"I guess. When do we start?" Severus sighed. Dumbledore's eye sparkled slightly as he smiled.

"This evening. Meet me in my office at eight." Dumbledore told him. Severus just nodded and turned away from the headmaster. Lily bid Dumbledore good day and followed Severus down the staircase.

"I wonder if it will end up like last time." Lily grasped Severus' hand.

"I hope not." Severus muttered. "I'm beginning to really hate Dumbledore."

"He's going to help you. It'll be alright," Lily said. "You'll be alright."

XXXXXX

Severus was not alright. He was standing nervously in front of Dumbledore's desk. He was shaking and trembling and no amount of snogging with Lily could make him calm down right now. His previous experiences in this office hadn't gone well. He didn't trust Dumbledore, and he didn't want Dumbledore snooping around his mind. But, as the headmaster stood and walked over to him, he took a deep breath and prepared himself.

"Severus, we might as well get started. I want you to look me in the eye and think of the most painful memory you have." Dumbledore instructed. Severus looked at the old man like he was crazy.

"That sounds like a terrible idea," Severus stated. Dumbledore eyed him with a disapproving look. He sighed and nodded, closing his eyes for a second and then opened them and looked right into Dumbledore's blue ones. It hadn't taken his long to choose a memory. After a second, he felt Dumbledore enter his mind and the memory began to play out.

_The occupants of the last house on Spinner's End were not getting along as usual. But, strangely enough, Severus was downstairs as his parents fought upstairs. It was the complete opposite of usual. Severus appeared to be eleven years old. He was sitting on the floor in the tiny living room, nursing what appeared to be a twisted ankle and a large, bleeding gash on his calf. He had torn off his pant leg and ripped it open and wrapped it tightly around his skinny leg. He ripped the other pant leg off so he could wrap it around his swollen ankle. _

_Suddenly, the doorbell rang, startling the boy. He jumped up and immediately put too much pressure on the injured ankle, making him cry out. The doorbell rang again and he limped to the door. He peaked through the curtain of the window beside the door and was horrified at what he saw. The unmistakable red hair and green eyes of Lily were there, examining the carved pattern on the door. He pulled open the door and met her eyes._

"_Oh my, Sev what happened to you?" Lily cried launching herself forward and hugging him. _

"_Lily…please get out of here!" Severus tried to push her away. _

"_Severus, what is going on?" Lily questioned. She looked down and saw a thick drop of blood drip down his leg from the bandage. _

"_It's dad. He's drunk." Severus grunted as he shifted the weight off his hurt ankle. _

"_What's going on down there, boy?" the voice of Tobias boomed from the top of the staircase. _

"_Nothing!" Severus replied. He turned back to Lily. "Please get out of here! Now!" _

"_Sev, no…you need help!" Lily was kneeling by his leg and wiping the blood off his leg with her jacket sleeve. _

"_Who is at the door? Is it one of your freak friends?" Tobias was stomping down the stairs, half empty bottle in hand. _

"_It's no one!" Severus tried to push Lily away. "Go! Get away from here!" But it was too late. Tobias swung open the door and grabbed Lily by her hair and hoisted her off the ground. _

"_Help!" she screamed, tears bursting from her eyes as she whimpered in pain. _

"_Let go of her!" Severus yelled, angry and horrified that his father had a painful grip on the beautiful red hair he loved so much. He balled his hands into fists and threw a punch Tobias. Soon, he was kicking at him too. _

"_Get off me, brat!" Tobias swung his free arm, knocking Severus hard against the wall. He hit his head and slid down, leaving a trail of blood on the wall. _

"_SEV!" Lily screamed, struggling to get out of Tobias' grip._

"_Well, well. Pretty little thing, aren't you?" Tobias grinned, pulling the squirming and whimpering girl closer to him. _

"_Let go of her!" a new voice was added. Eileen was standing, blood trickling from the ends of a few strands of stringy black hair, with her wand pointed directly at Tobias. "Let go of her." Eileen repeated. Tobias narrowed his eyes and tossed Lily to the ground next to Severus. _

"_You wouldn't." he growled, reaching out and grabbing her wand before she could react. He snapped it in two pieces, throwing it to the ground. The fight continued between the adults as Lily kneeled next to Severus, crying. The boy opened his eyes and looked up at her._

"_I'm so sorry, Lily." Severus whispered. _

"_Severus…" Lily brushed her fingers against his bruised cheek. Standing, she ran away from the house so quickly that she was out of sight before Severus could even sit up. _

The memory ended abruptly and Dumbledore pulled out of Severus' mind so quickly that he nearly fell over. Severus was on his knees, trying not to cry as he gasped for breath. He leaned against Dumbledore's desk and closed his eyes for a moment. The memory had been painful, for he had just remembered it like it was yesterday. It had been the first time he felt as though he might lose Lily forever.

"Severus?" Dumbledore leaned over and extended a hand to help the boy up. Severus took his hand and stood up. "Now I want you to explain why that was a painful memory," Dumbledore said.

"It…it was the first time I thought I'd lose Lily forever. I thought he was going to hurt her really bad and that she'd never want to talk to me again," Severus mumbled.

"That is truly a sad thought," Dumbledore sighed. This was going to be harder than he thought. "Now, Severus, I want you to think of the happiest memory you can. The moment when you truly felt the most joyous, the most content."

Severus nodded and thought. This memory was even easier to pick out. When one does not have very many happy memories, one spends most of their time dwelling on those few. With a sigh, not really wanting to share the moment when Dumbledore, he looked into the older man's eyes.

_It was the day before. Lily and Severus were standing by the tree, his hand cupping her cheek as they looked into each other's eyes. _

"_I need to hear it, Lily. I need you to say that you love me." he whispered. He was close to her now, his breath was tickling her. _

"_I love you, Severus. I have loved you for as long as I can remember," she told him. He seemed to step even closer to her. She ran her hands up his chest and hooked one around his neck while the other rested on his heart, which was beating so quickly it might jump right out of his chest. _

"_I want to kiss you…" he whispered his eyes darting quickly to her lips and then back to her eyes_.

Dumbledore pulled back abruptly. He didn't want to see what was coming up next, nor did Severus want to show him. The older man noticed a blush creeping up on Severus' cheeks.

"Do most of your happy memories center around Lily?" Dumbledore asked. Severus just nodded as he avoided eye contact with the headmaster. "Can you show me one that doesn't?" Severus looked troubled for a moment as he thought, but then he looked up into Dumbledore's eyes once more.

"_Severus, darling wake up." Eileen was sitting on the edge of the shabby twin bed in Severus' tiny bedroom. She was smiling as she shook his arm. _

"_Mum…" Severus sat up, rubbing his tired eyes. _

"_Look what arrived this morning." Eileen couldn't wipe the grin off of her face as she held up the yellowish envelope addressed to him. He smiled and grabbed it greedily out of her hands. Turning it over, he ran his fingers over the Hogwarts seal. "We'll be going to Diagon Alley today, while your father is at work." Eileen told him. It was then that Severus realized that his mother, for the first time in his entire life, was wearing wizards clothing. The dark plum robes she was wearing made her look entirely different than normal. They were expensive looking, too. She pulled out a pouch from her pocket and handed it to him._

"_What's this?" Severus asked, looking up from the letter and taking the pouch. _

"_Open it." she was still smiling. Severus set the letter aside and looked into the pouch. His eyes widened as he dug his hand into the pouch and pulled out a handful of gold coins. He was overjoyed to find that there were in fact several handfuls in the pouch. _

"_There must be a _hundred_ galleons in here!" Severus said gleefully. _

"_Your grandmother gave it to me before you were born. She said that it was not to be spent for anyone but you. But Severus, you must listen to me. This money has to last you through all seven years of your schooling. We can't go off and buy the most expensive things we set our eyes on, do you understand?" Eileen looked at him sternly. He nodded as he dropped the money back into the pouch. _

_The scene faded and they appeared in a busy Diagon Alley. Eileen was smirking as she held an armful of packages and watched her son pressing his oversized nose against the glass of the broom shop, looking at the newest broomstick models with a bunch of other kids. _

"_Severus, come on. We must get your books." Eileen stepped forward and tugged on his arm. He walked away; casting glanced back at the shop. "We might be able to squeeze enough for a broomstick out of your grandfather if you make the Slytherin house team." Eileen told him._

"_Grandfather wouldn't give me anything if he had a choice between that and dying a horrible, painful death." Severus grumbled. "He always calls me a disgusting Half-Blood."_

"_You're not disgusting, Severus." Eileen assured him as they arrived at Flourish and Blotts. "You'll love this store." _

_And she was right. Severus loved the book store. It was two stories tall, with shelves and aisles and stacks filled with books. Every different book imaginable. Severus trailed his fingers along the brand new, leather bound spines of the books near the door. Eileen told him she was going to go get his school books while he looked around. He just nodded as he picked out a book titled, _Dark Spells and Hexes for Beginners._ Sitting in one of the old chairs that occupied the corner of the store, he began reading the book. _

This time is was Severus who pulled away, panting heavily and pressing his fingers into his temple. He shut his eyes as his forehead pulsed with pain.

"Are you alright?" Dumbledore asked.

"Can we stop for today?" Severus asked through gritted teeth.

"Yes." Dumbledore pulled out a phial of pain relieving potion and handed it to him. "You are making progress on your own, even."

"What kind of progress? You haven't even told me why I'm here, or why you're making me do this!" Severus glared at the headmaster before gulping down the purplish liquid in the phial.

"The purpose of this treatment and ones to come are to organize and discipline your mind." Dumbledore explained to him. "You explained to me that you once were studying Legilimency and Occlumency, so you must understand the importance of this."

"Yes." Severus answered quietly. "Can I go? I have a Defense Against the Dark Arts essay do tomorrow that I have to finish."

"Very well. I will send you a note when we should meet next." Dumbledore nodded as Severus headed towards the door.

XXXXXX

When he arrived back at the room, Lily immediately began questioning him about what had happened in Dumbledore's office. Severus explained that Dumbledore made him chose a few memories and show them to him. Lily had, of course, demanded to know which memories he had chosen, and Severus figured that since two of them involved her, it wouldn't hurt to tell her.

After Lily had gotten over her concern for what Dumbledore had done, they pulled out their books and began to study. Severus was still working on catching up on most of the materials in the classes, but he figured he'd be caught up by Christmas holiday. Unfortunately, Lily was causing him to rethink that. Just as he began on the Defense Against the Dark Arts essay he had to do, Lily taken it upon herself to seat herself in his lap and hug him tightly.

"Lily…what are you up to?" Severus smirked as she leaned towards him and silenced him with her lips. After a few minutes of snogging, he pulled away and sighed. "I really have to finish this essay."

"I know. I just realized I really like snogging you." Lily couldn't help but giggle as she stood and made her way over to her four-poster. She smiled at him when she saw that he was still watching her. "Essay, Sev." she reminded him as she opened the book that was sitting next to her.

With a smile on his face, Severus turned back to his essay. And he was the happiest he had ever been.

* * *

**Well, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!! Anyway...I am finally back home with the comforts of a safe and reliable computer that WORKS...so...my usual ooc things apply, however I feel that they are growing less ooc with every chap!! And thank you to everyone who's reviewed, faved, alerted, and/or c2ed this story! Keep reviewing, please and I'll keep updating as best I can!**


	19. Fall to Pieces

Nope, not mine.

**Warning, this chapter contains the following: Lily Evans being what could be classified as the stupidest girl alive, James Potter being a jealous git, and Severus Snape being, quite literally, mental. Enjoy!**

* * *

Two blissful weeks passed in which Severus and Lily were perhaps the happiest people in the entire castle. They would walk down the corridors, hand in hand, with smiles on their faces. People would spot them in the library or out by the lake, looking as though nothing could bring them down.

Things were going so well, that James felt enough nerve to address Severus as his 'pal' one day during lunch. And Severus had responded with a low chuckle before turning back to his discussion with Remus, who he had forgiven. Even Sirius had decided that Severus wasn't so bad, and had asked him for help on an essay for Potions on day. Mary even hugged him one day after ran up to them and exclaimed – in an extremely girlishly squeal – that Sirius had asked her to be his girlfriend officially. He actually returned the hug.

Lily felt like she was in a dream. All of her friends were getting along. Severus was happy and nearly always had at least a small smile on his face. She had high marks in all her classes and, remarkably, so did Severus. Their evenings were filled with studying, and more often than not, long snog sessions. One night, they were up so late that the lanterns in their room actually extinguished themselves, telling the two of them to go to bed.

Snogging had become one of Lily's favorite things for the moment, now that she found out how wonderful it could be. Severus preferred to keep it private, only doing it in their room or in a dark corner of the library. Lily, on the other hand, enjoyed sitting by the lake or standing in the open for everyone to see.

Although, one night, a question popped into Lily's mind. It was nearing the end of the first week of November. They were sitting on the floor leaning against Lily's bed. Lily was nearly sitting in Severus' lap as they engaged in their nightly snog session. Her hands were buried in his hair and his hands where on her waist as he practically devoured her. She pulled away as soon as the question formed, leaving a panting Severus shooting her a questioning look.

"Sev, you're very good at this," Lily told him. She reached up and traced his bottom lip with her finger as he raised an eyebrow.

"Thank you," he whispered, the words barely slipping out of his mouth.

"So…just how many girls have you had to practice on?" Lily questioned, rather harshly. She dropped her finger and watched him as his eyes darted back and forth.

"What?" his voice cracked slightly as he stared at her.

"How many girls have you snogged before me?" Lily laid it out simple for him.

"Just Narcissa," he told her. She eyed him, knowing that it was making him somewhat nervous.

"Really? Just Narcissa?" Lily watched his expression for any sign of him hinting there was someone else. It didn't really matter, she just didn't like the thought of Severus being with a girl and not telling her. But then again, since when had there been any other girls to show an interest in Severus? Most of the previous years, the female population found him physically repulsive. Now that they were beginning to see him as a person, their opinions were changing. But Severus' nod satisfied her, for the moment. She just replied by cupping both his cheeks in her hands and pulling him closer to restart their unfinished kiss.

XXXXXX

That Saturday was the first Hogsmeade visit of the school year. It had been scheduled, as usual, on Halloween, but due to a Death Eater attack just outside the village it had been rescheduled for nearly two weeks later. Most of the teachers would be supervising the students and so would the inhabitants of the village.

After hearing about the Death Eaters near the village, Severus did not want to go. He wanted to stay in the castle, near the warm fireplace in their room and read a book. Lily wanted to go and be social and have fun. So, much to his dismay, Severus found himself being dragged down to the village by Lily. The only thing that kept him coming willingly was her promise to sneak through the fence and get up close to the Shrieking Shack with him.

Unfortunately, that would have to wait. Severus followed Lily to the Three Broomsticks where Sirius, Mary, James, and Remus were all sitting at two tables pushed close together. They were all huddled close, the cold outside was drifting into the room. Lily and Severus brought up two more chairs and sat at the end of one of the tables, huddling together with the rest of them.

"It's freezing," Lily stated, leaning closer to Severus. James and Sirius laughed at her.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Sirius chuckled. Severus smirked as Peter came up to the table with an armful of butterbeers. He gave one to each of his friends, then realized the additions to the group and hurried back to the bar.

"Good thing we got Wormtail to volunteer to get the drinks." James was grinning as he took a long drink out of the mug. Severus did not miss it when James glanced over and looked somewhat longingly at Lily. He slipped his arm around Lily's waist and moved closer to her.

When Peter arrived back with the last of the butterbeers, the group sat around and just talked while they sipped the sugary sweet drinks. When they finished they all stood and parted ways. Mary drug Sirius off to Madam Puddifoot's while James, Remus, and Peter went to Zonko's Joke Shop. Lily and Severus went to Honeydukes.

Honeydukes was Severus' least favorite store. He hated the crowds in it, and he detested the sweets. A mug of butterbeer was enough sugar to last him for a week. But Lily had insisted they go because she adored the home made chocolate bars they sold. Severus just told Lily he was going to look at the new editions of the _Daily Prophet_ while she shopped. She just nodded and wandered off to shop. Unfortunately, just as she turned to buy a couple of the chocolate bars she loved, a hand was placed on her arm and she was pulled through the crowd and out the door.

"What the…" she turned to find James tugging her to the small alley between the shops. "What is going on?"

"Lily…I just wanted to talk to you…alone," James told her. She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"But I can't just leave Severus in there, he'll worry about me. He hates crowds, they remind him of…" she trailed off, not wanting to talk about what happened to Severus.

"Just for a moment, Lily." James' hand was on her arm, holding her in her spot, forcing her to face him. His eyes were staring into hers, soft hazel orbs looking at her with all the care and the love that he had in him. Then it dawned on Lily. _He still loves me…_

"James…I can't." Lily tried to pull away, her voice getting softer.

"How is he treating you? Is all that happiness just a mask? Are you miserable with him?" James questioned.

"Don't insult Severus. I love him and he treats me wonderfully. Better than you, I might add." Lily snapped, narrowing her eyes and jerking away from him.

"Lily, you never gave me a chance. You decided that muggleborn hating miniature Death Eater was more worth your time and your love than someone more like you!" James stepped closer to her, backing her against the cold stone wall.

"Didn't I tell you not to insult Severus? Hasn't he proven to you that he can be kind?" Lily pushed him away, her anger boiling and her desire to go find Severus rising.

"He's a fake, Lily. He can't wait to run off with the other Slytherins as soon as they'll have him. Please, just rethink this decision. You never trusted him before. What makes you think he'll change? A couple of decent snogs by the lake? If that's all it takes to have you melting, I should've tried that!" James pushed her against the wall, placed hands on the outside of her shoulders, trapping her.

"Get away from me! I wouldn't have let you get near me! You're disgusting!" Lily struggled, trying to push him away.

"Lily, just listen to me! The only reason you didn't give me a chance is because that greasy git got hurt! If he hadn't, wouldn't you still be with me? Wouldn't you still be angry at him for calling you names?" James questioned harshly.

"You've called me more names than he has! Get away from me!" Lily tried to duck under his arm, but he caught her.

"Give me a chance, Lily. Please, I'm begging you. You'll just be hurt if you're with him. If he doesn't hurt you, than his Death Eater pals will. Please." James' tone took on a more pleading quality. Lily felt her heart pound as she looked up at him. Looking in into his eyes, she realized they were quite mesmerizing. Severus' eyes often looked cold and distant, and he conveyed _every_ emotion he felt through his eyes. James' eyes were soft, caring, and full of love and concern and all manner of other pleasant emotions. Lily found herself thinking it a nice change.

"James…I can't…" Lily whispered, glancing down at his lips. They were soft and full, different from Severus' thin lips that were often pulled into a straight line. Lily couldn't believe she was thinking about James like that! Her boyfriend was standing in the store, by the window just around the corner! What if he came out and saw?

"Just one kiss?" James was leaning down, his hand drifting to her hair, running his fingers through the silky strands. Lily shivered against her will.

"James…no." Lily found herself saying. But instead of pushing him away, her hand was on his shoulder. He was leaning closer and brushing his lips against hers. "We've got to stop…" Lily muttered, but made no effort to stop. His tongue flicked out, tracing her lips as Severus' so often did. Immediately out of reflex, she parted her lips and immediately found him pressing his lips against her harder, his tongue slipping in.

"James? Lily?" a horrified voice questioned from the light end of the alley. James pulled back immediately, wide-eyed and red cheeked.

"Remus, hello." James smiled, running a hand through his messy hair. Lily was looking horrified as she stared at Remus.

"Lily, what have you done? When Severus finds out he'll be crushed!" Remus looked disapprovingly between his friends.

"But Severus won't find out, will he? Because we aren't going to say a word to anyone! This never happened!" Lily shrieked, feeling the urge to slap James silly. "I hate you!" She stomped off around the corner and walked right into Severus.

"Lily? What's going on? Why did you leave?" Severus asked, wrapping his arms around her to steady her.

"Nothing's going on. I just was having a talk with James and Remus." Lily smiled as said boys came out of the alley.

"In a dark alley?" Severus raised an eyebrow, his mind coming up with all kinds of questions, among them were, "Why are you cheeks all red? You must be cold." Severus said, cupping her cheek in his hand.

"Y-Yes…cold." Lily shivered and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. She was so ashamed of what she had done. She prayed to whatever deity was listening that Severus never found out. He would be absolutely crushed and there was no telling what he would do.

XXXXXX

Monday morning, Severus awoke to the near daily routine. Lily was gone; her book bag already gone as well. A small note reminding him of her love for him and to go to Madam Pomfrey for his potion. He would read the note, tuck it in his pocket, drink the potion, and then quickly ready himself for the day all while keeping Lily's declaration of love close to him.

He grabbed his bag, ready for a long day of classes, and set off to find Lily. On his way to the Great Hall, he encountered a group of young Gryffindor girls chatting away. He heard "Lily", "snog", "James", and "Severus" out of the discussion, and was instantly wondering what was going on. Ducking around the corner, he listened to the girls.

"James Potter is so cute." one girl giggled.

"Yeah, but she shouldn't have done that. That poor Severus boy is so nice. He loves her so much, it's so obvious," another girl said.

"I'd leave him for Potter any day."

"But you wouldn't snog him in Hogsmeade with your boyfriend right around the corner."

"That's true. She must be just like that Joanna girl, sleeping with whoever will bed her."

"I still think it's sad. What will happen when Severus finds out? I bet it'll be a huge breakup, and then he'll be free…I wonder if he'll go out with me…"

"Shut up! He wouldn't…he loves Lily too much."

And around the corner, Severus felt silent tears pouring down his cheeks at what he had heard. Had Lily really snogged Potter that weekend? Had she lied to him, and that's what she was doing in that alley? What if she had snogged Lupin, too? Severus felt as though his heart was breaking right down the middle. Wiping his eyes, he stumbled down the remaining stairs, only to pass Mary and Alice on the way down.

"Hey Severus." Mary waved at him, a sympathetic look in her eye.

"Is it true?" Severus croaked, trying not to break down in front of them. "Did Lily really…snog Potter?"

"Oh dear…" Alice sighed, biting her lip and sharing a glance at her friend. "Severus…it's not what you think. Whatever you heard those third years saying…"

"So she did! She really did…" Severus backed away, feeling his control slipping away. Everything he had held onto was simply falling away from him. Somehow, the last of his control led him to the Great Hall, where he had the pleasure of witnessing James and Lily, sitting beside each other, laughing and thoroughly enjoying themselves. Then, James slipped his arm around her shoulders and squeezed her quickly before retracting. Immediately after, he turned and locked eyes with a stunned and broken Severus. He nudged Lily, and she looked over at him as well. She looked horrified at his expression.

Severus saw her stand, like she was going to approach. He backed away, tears silently falling from his eyes. He was trembling, barely able to stay on his feet as he wandered his way away from the Great Hall to somewhere in a dark corner of the Entrance Hall, out of sight. He sank to the floor, pulled his knees up to his chest and sobbed. He didn't care anymore. His heart was broken, his soul was shattered, and everything that he had hoped for, didn't seem worth it now. He didn't even feel like living.

Severus Snape felt like now would be a good time for Lord Voldemort to sweep in and finish the job.

XXXXXX

Lily knew something was wrong when Severus didn't show up for Potions that morning. When she had seen him running from the Great Hall, she went after him, but couldn't find him. She had wondered if he had found out about her and James. James had certainly taken the liberty of treating her like his girlfriend, and she hated it. She was waiting for Severus to slip in and throw James his infamous glare to get rid of him. But Severus did not. Instead he stood, crying by the looks of it, and watched.

He knew. And it worried her.

So, she fidgeted all of potions class, worrying. James kept sending her glances and suggestive looks, and she glared angrily back. Her mind was focused on where Severus was. What if he was hurt? What if he tried something horrible? Was he ok? Would he believe her when she tried to explain? What would she say?

It was all so horrible…she knew that he would probably never want to talk to her again. No doubt his ability to love and trust would be shattered. It made her heart ache to know that she had single handedly destroyed Severus.

After class, she was on her way up from the dungeons so she could go to her room and spend her free period searching for Severus. She couldn't study with Severus on her mind like this. But, she was distracted by the large crowd of students pushing their ways through the main entrance to the Entrance Hall. Curious, she followed them and ended up standing by a fourth year Hufflepuff.

"What's going on?" Lily asked. The Hufflepuff wasn't paying attention to who she was as she answered the question.

"It's that Snape boy. He's threatening to jump off the Astronomy tower. Professor Dumbledore is trying to talk him down." the girl told her. Lily gasped, feeling her heart beating faster. She pushed her way through the crowd and ran out to where the whole school seemed to be crowding around the bottom of the Astronomy tower. There, at the top, sitting on the edge with his legs dangling in front of him, was Severus.

"NO!" Lily cried. She bolted back into the castle. She was running as fast as her legs would carry her. She_ had_ to get there. She would explain, somehow. She would tell him it was a mistake, and that she loved him with all her heart because she really, _really _did. She was just experimenting, that was it! Experimenting, confirming that Severus was indeed the better choice! Her legs were aching, and her lungs were struggling for air as she ran nearly across the entire castle and up the long, tall, winding stairs. Finally, she collapsed at the top, where Professor Dumbledore was standing, along with McGonagall and Slughorn, trying to talk to Severus.

"Miss Evans?" McGonagall whispered, pulling her off the ground.

"Lily?" Severus had turned around. He was looking at her with the most hurt, broken expression she had ever seen.

"Severus…please come here. Please come over here and we'll talk." Lily pleaded in between breaths.

"Miss Evans…" McGonagall tugged on her arm, her tone warning her. Lily's presence was enough to send him over the edge, and they all knew it. They watched in horror, holding their breath, as Severus turned back to face the crowd below.

"I wish the Dark Lord had just killed me himself," Severus said. He cocked his head to the side as he looked down. "At least I wouldn't be here having to do it myself."

"You don't have to, Severus. Just come back here, and we'll help you. We'll sort through this all." Dumbledore was saying, in his kindest voice.

"There's nothing to sort through. She loves Potter. If she loves Potter, than she doesn't love me. If she's just going to lie to me, I might as well not be here for her to have to lie to! I'm just a burden to her. She doesn't want someone who she has to worry about. I'm too much trouble." Severus shook his head and reached into the pocket of his trousers. 

He pulled out the small note she had written this morning. "She says, 'Sev, remember how much I love you, because I may not always be able to tell you. But I really do.' Yeah right." he ripped the note into four pieces and watched it float down to the ground below. "You don't love me, just admit it! I'm too ugly, I'm too mean, I'm too…everything you don't like!" Severus was practically shouting. "Just leave me be…"

"Sev, please…it was just an accident…it didn't happen on purpose! It wasn't like I planned it! Please…Sev you have to listen to me! He forced me! He forced me to kiss him! I'm sorry, Severus. I really, really am. And I really do love you! Please…you have to understand…you can't jump." Lily was sobbing as she pushed Dumbledore aside and fell on his knees behind Severus, who was just staring down below.

"Yeah right. You're just playing with me. Playing that game. Playing with Severus' heart, seeing how fast you can rip it apart. How much can you break it? Twenty points if you break it in two…fifty if you shatter it to pieces." Severus was ripping at the hem of his shirt.

"Severus! Please listen to me! If you jump off, I couldn't stand to live with myself! I love you so much!" Lily cried. Severus looked back at her. This time, she was closer. When she looked up at him, she noticed a crazy glint in his eye. It almost scared her. It was something she had never seen before.

"Love me so much? Do you?" Severus was watching her with the crazy look in his eyes, like he was going to rip out his own hair or something strange. Behind her, Lily heard the voice of Madam Pomfrey talking.

"He didn't take his potion this morning. I knew the effects could be dangerous. Any sort of emotional conflict at all could set him off to do something dangerous." Madam Pomfrey watched as Lily inched closer to him.

"Severus, please take my hand. We'll go back to our room and talk, just you and I. We'll sort this out. Please." Lily pleaded, extending a hand. He just watched as she sat there, her eyes filled with tears and begging him to go with her.

"I love you, Lily." he whispered, inching closer toward the edge.

"No…Sev, I know…I love you too…so very, very much! Please…Sev…take my hand and come with me!" Lily's heart was pounding so hard she thought she could see it through her shirt. She could barely breathe as she watched Severus, hoping that in whatever state of mind he was in, he had enough sense to take her hand. "So many people care about you, Sev."

"You're the only one that matters." Severus turned back to her, a sad look in his glazed eyes. "I only ever wanted you to love me more than him. I just wanted you…but you always go back to him."

"Severus…I love _you_. You, Severus, and only you! I told you, he forced me! I wanted you to come this morning, into the Great Hall so that you could save me. I didn't want to be around him!" Lily tried to tell him. She was beginning to wonder if it was hopeless. She had ruined everything.

"I hate Potter. Did you know that? I really hate him." Severus was muttering. He looked back down to the people below him and scooted more to the edge. He pulled out his wand. "I wonder if it would be easier if I stun myself." He pointed his wand to his forehead.

"NO!" Lily nearly screamed. Out of fear, she did something she hadn't imagined herself doing. She lunged forward, slipped her arms through Severus'. She hauled him backwards, pulling him from the edge. With a yelp, she handed on her back with Severus scrambling off of her.

"I told you to leave me be!" Severus cried, moving back towards where he was. Suddenly, he froze mid step. Lily looked behind her to see Dumbledore with his wand pointed at Severus.

"Professor?" Lily questioned, tears still pouring from her eyes as she stood. She moved in front of Severus, his unblinking eyes frozen with the crazy, glazed over look.

"You got him away from the edge. That was good." Dumbledore whispered. There was a moment of deafening silence at the top of the Astronomy tower, as everyone was able to breathe again. Lily stood, running her fingers across the cold, stony skin of his cheek.

"_Mobilicorpus_," was muttered from behind, and Severus' body began to float towards Madam Pomfrey.

XXXXXX

"What?" Lily questioned loudly, standing over an unconscious Severus.

"We have to Obliviate him. Wiping his memory of this event is the only way that we can ensure he will return to the way he was. It's simple, really. A carefully targeted _Obliviate_ will erase the events of today. He'll just be mildly disoriented and we'll tell him a story to make up for his loss of time." Madam Pomfrey explains, waving her wand over Severus.

"And what if he hears after he wakes up? What will happen?" Lily stepped forward and grasped his hand.

"You said yourself that he forced you to kiss him. Had Severus heard the story from you, and had he taken his potion this morning, I'm sure the outcome would've been less drastic. Of course, you never know. I've said it before, he is going to be unpredictable." Madam Pomfrey shook her head.

"So...Sev would be like that all the time if he didn't take the potion? He'd be crazy?" Lily asked.

"Unpredictable, not crazy. But yes, he'd be like that without the potion. Overreacting to every tiny thing that set off his emotions, hurting himself and others, and having extreme mood swings. He's sick, Miss Evans, injured and sick and it's not going to heal just like that. He needs to be on a constant schedule of taking the potion. Otherwise, there's just no hope of him ever getting normal," said Madam Pomfrey.

"But he will get better, won't he?" Lily felt her eyes filling with tears.

"Oh yes. If he stays on the potion and properly goes through the healing sessions with Professor Dumbledore, he'll be better. It will be a long, uneasy, and uncertain course." Madam Pomfrey looked down at her patient with motherly eyes, "And if you're going to go with him down that road, you've got to commit to it. You have to be by his side, you can't just let him take care of himself like he'll want to. You have to make sure he takes the potion and you have to watch him. Are you ready to commit to this? You can't be running off with Mr. Potter or any of them, and you can't leave him wondering about your trustworthiness. He needs someone to rely on, and you're initially taking on that role? We've come far, Lily, but the real journey has only just begun. Are you ready?"

"I…I am." Lily grasped Severus' hand, silently vowing that she would never go near James or any of the Marauders without him by her side. She would never, ever again give him a reason not to trust her. Not after the incident on the Astronomy tower. The sheer terror at the thought of nearly losing him that she felt would be enough by itself to keep her in line.

"I wouldn't be having this discussion with you if that crackpot old fool had enough sense to allow him to have his treatment at St. Mungo's." Madam Pomfrey turned away from Severus and began rummaging through her box of potions.

"St. Mungo's? You want to send him to St. Mungo's?" Lily looked horrified.

"He needs their constant supervision. He needs the predictable schedule," Madam Pomfrey said.

"But…they'd put him in with the crazy people! Sev's not crazy, you just said. He's just unpredictable, and emotionally unstable." Lily was nearly pleading.

"I realize that, Miss Evans. I wouldn't expect you to understand the severity of the curses used on him," said Madam Pomfrey.

"What, the Cruciatus? I knew that it was bad, and that it could drive someone to be mental. Is there a more terrible curse that I don't know about?" Lily questioned harshly.

"Yes there was a curse worse than that! It's called the Killing Curse! Do you not understand, child, that Severus is supposed to be dead? His subconscious is fighting with itself over it. His mind knows that he's supposed to be dead, part of it probably is, but he is not," Madam Pomfrey tried to explain.

"So, he's constantly fighting with himself over whether he should be dead or not?" Lily asked, looking down at Severus' still face. The only sign that he was still alive was the steady rise and fall of his chest.

"That's why Professor Dumbledore has been helping him. He's been trying to find the place in his mind that's damaged so that he can repair it. I'm afraid that Narcissa Malfoy did this boy no favors by keeping him alive." Madam Pomfrey administered the some potions to him. "The Headmaster will be here soon to erase the memories. I recommend you go back to your room when he arrives. It'll be better for both you and Severus if you're not here," Madam Pomfrey said gravely, as though she was preparing Severus' body for a funeral.

"How long will it take before he can go back to classes?" Lily asked.

"Just long enough for the rumors of you and Mr. Potter to die down." Madam Pomfrey answered. Lily raised an eyebrow, not liking the answer. With a smirk, Madam Pomfrey added, "A week, at most."

* * *

**Before you kill me, let me explain. Somebody whether it be you guys, myself, or Lily, needed to see just how messed up Severus still is. And unfortunately, it wouldn've taken such a drastic event (Jame+Lilysnog in dark alley) to set him off. Although, I guarentee you that there will be ZERO romance of James and Lily from here on out. ZERO. ZILCH. NADA. NONE. Got it?? Good... Just wanted you guys to understand that I needed to show this part...and I really, really hated writing it...but it had to happen. I hope you, my dear and beloved readers, understand why I must have this part here. I could say it is crucial to the story, but everything is crucial to the story. It's what makes the story. Thank you for taking the time to read and review this, and I hope this chapter has not disappointed you, because things will get better...I promise! Thanks again, readers...and to those of you who read through this obscenely long author's note...reviews are nice ;)**


	20. Angel of Guilt

Nope, not mine. They belong to Jo.

* * *

Lily had not left Severus' side since they walked out of the hospital wing a week ago, except for classes. She was always holding his hand, or hugging him, or sitting close enough to him that they touched in some ways. He, of course, had no idea of the reason behind her sudden desire to constantly be touching him in some way. But he was not objecting.

At night, Lily would lie awake on her side and stare at Severus from across the room. She often found herself crying to sleep, her mind overrun with guilt. It took all of her will power not to confess outright to Severus what she had done. Things were getting better with each day that passed. She had accepted what had to be done to keep her Severus happy and sane. That small glimpse of what he would be like if she neglected him had scared her so much that she spent more time caring for Severus than herself.

The desire to "be social" had left Lily. If Severus wanted to sit beside the fire and read, then by Merlin that's what they were going to do. If Severus wanted to walk down to the kitchen and get dinner from the house elves, then that's what they did. In fact, Lily encouraged his desire to be secluded in their rooms during their free time. She wanted to avoid James more than anything. Of course, Severus was still happy. He had no idea what had happened during their visit to Hogsmeade. He was still mildly nice to James and the other Marauders.

Due to Lily's sudden change, she was now sitting in a huge leather chair in the corner of Dumbledore's office, an open book perched in her lap that she wasn't really reading. She was watching as Severus stood with a vacant expression on his face as he stared into the Headmaster's eyes. Dumbledore was staring back, his wand gripped tightly in his hand as he searched through Severus' mind. Lily had insisted on accompanying Severus, which Dumbledore had first objected to. But, as she sat quietly and watched, no one seemed to mind.

XXXXXX

Severus pulled back abruptly, closing his eyes and turning away from Dumbledore. He was panting as he rubbed his throbbing forehead. He had done it again. He had focused all of his energy on a particular memory that the old man had demanded to see, but somehow, the memory stopped right in the middle and another memory took its place. It was extremely frustrating for both Severus and Dumbledore.

"Severus, focus next time," Dumbledore instructed, his tone reflecting his thinning patience.

"I'm _trying_." Severus bit back. He rubbed his hand across his forehead once more before turning back.

"Now, I want you to look beyond that memory. Reach inside your own mind and push it aside so that we can view what we need to see." Dumbledore told him. Severus growled something inaudible as he looked up at Dumbledore. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Lily watching him. With a sigh, Severus nodded once to Dumbledore before he felt the familiar feeling of him entering his mind.

"_You brought that brat home yet?" Tobias called from the living room. Eileen sighed as she muttered "yes" in reply, shoving Severus towards the stairs. _

"_He's drunk. Take your things upstairs." she whispered, glancing at his trunk before kissing him on the top of the head and heading to the living room. Severus sighed, hung his head, and stalked up the old stairs with his trunk in tow. _

"_Well, where is he? I want to give the ugly brat a welcome home gift." Tobias sneered. Severus cringed, knowing what his father meant. He didn't want to come home. He had even told his mother that. In fact, he had practically begged her at the train station. He narrowed his eyes as he pushed his heavy trunk into his small bedroom. Flipping the light switch, he pulled out his wand and hid it in the bottom of his trunk, underneath the broken quills and the bundle of notes he had kept for his own research. Last summer, his father had tried to break his wand. That wasn't going to happen again._

"_Get down here, brat! I want to give you something!" Tobias' voice rang out through the house. Severus gulped and stood. He mentally prepared himself for what was sure to be a lot of pain. Walking out of the room and down the hall to the stairs, he went slowly, trying to drag it out. Suddenly, he heard his mother yelling. _

"_Severus, go! Upstairs, NOW!" Eileen nearly screamed. Severus saw Tobias coming at him, the usual drunken craziness was evident as he stumbled out of the living room. He pulled out the switch blade he kept in his pocket. Severus turned and bolted up the stairs and into his room, slamming the door. He could hear the clunk of his father's boots as he got closer. _

"_THE WINDOW, SEVERUS! THE WINDOW!" Eileen screamed from somewhere else in the house. The door was kicked open easily by Tobias. Severus scrambled to push the stuck window open. He knew that jumping would be a lot less painful than anything his father subjected him to. Just as he pushed open the window and started to crawl out, he felt the cool blade of the knife swipe across the back of his patched trousers, slicing them and the skin of his leg open. With a scream suppressed into a surprised cry, he pushed himself out the window. _

_Then everything turned black. The memory faded mid-fall…_

"_What did you just say?" a cool voice asked. A hooded figure was standing over and pointing his wand at writhing Severus._

"_Please stop…" Severus, too terrified to do anything else, begged. Tears ran silently down his cheeks as another painful burst spread through his body and out of the tips of his fingers and toes. _

"_Now let's try that again. What did you just say?" Lord Voldemort questioned, intensifying the curse once more, earning a yelp and a moan from the twitching boy…_

"Please stop!" Severus pushed Dumbledore away and broke the eye contact they had been holding. Dumbledore retreated and backed away, watching as Severus sank to his knees, sobbing as he twitched violently. Lily was struggling not to jump out of the chair and help him, but she knew that Dumbledore had instructed her not to interfere with the session if she wanted to stay in the company of Severus.

"Severus? Did you focus like I instructed?" Dumbledore questioned, crouching down beside the sobbing boy, who had leaned against the desk and pulled his knees to his chest.

"Yes! Yes, I focused…please stop! I don't want to do anymore tonight…" Severus sobbed, burying his head in his knees. He trembling and twitched, pain from the memories coursing through his veins almost as strongly as it had the night it happened.

"Severus…you must compose yourself. We are not finished." Albus felt a pang of sympathy for the boy as he watched his hand slide down from his knees to the back of his thigh, clutching the spot where there probably was a thin scar from the clean cut of the knife.

"I don't want to…I don't want to…I don't want to…" Severus shook his head and started rocking slowly back and forth. Albus sighed, slightly frustrated. Poppy had told him not to push it too much. This had been the sixth time tonight that he had relived the memory of jumping out of the window to save his own life, only to be interrupted each and every time by a different memory of the Cruciatus curse being used on him the week he was kidnapped.

"Severus, perhaps you could show me a good memory? Can you do that?" Albus tried to say in the nicest, most comforting voice he could muster. He loved children, but he had no experience comforting hysterical teenage boys. Comfort was obviously what he needed. And Lily was itching to give it.

"Good…" Severus mumbled, looking up at Albus, tears flowing from his eyes like a raging river. He glanced over and saw Lily, sitting on the edge of the chair; the book she had been holding was on the floor. She was gripping fistfuls of her thick red hair and biting her lip hard, as if it took every ounce of control she had not to go running over to him. Severus tore his eyes away from her and looked back up at Dumbledore. The tears had stop flowing, leaving only the slightly damp paths they had traveled from the corner of his eyes. Dumbledore stared into Severus' solid black eyes.

"_Severus? Are you here?" the sweet voice of Lily spoke as she pushed through some bushes. She appeared to be ten years old, and so did Severus. "Why did we have to meet here? Why not back at The Spot?" she questioned, making her way over to _

_Severus, who's feet were dangling off the bank and into the surprisingly clear water of the slow flowing river. _

"_She knows we go there, Lily. I don't want her spying," Severus said as Lily sat next to him, taking off her stockings and slipping her feet into the cool water. Severus watched her pleasantly pale legs slip off the edge of the bank into the water, but was forced to look away when he heard her criticizing voice._

"_Tuney's really a nice person, Severus. If you'd just give her a chance." Lily splashed some water at him with her foot. He smirked, kicking some water back at her._

"_But she's a muggle," Severus answered. _

"_But you're dad's a muggle." Lily bit back, forgetting what he had said about his father. When she saw the look of shock and horror on his sallow face, she turned away. "Right, sorry. I forgot." _

"_S'ok," Severus mumbled, looking down at his feet as he kicked the water slightly. _

"_Is that why you're wearing long sleeves today?" Lily asked bravely. When she reached over and touched his arm, he didn't jerk it away. When she scooted closer to him and pulled his arm into her lap and rolled up his sleeve, he didn't pull away. When she saw the angry red scar that ran from his elbow and curled inwards a little ways down his forearm, she gasped. "Oh Severus…" she gently rolled the sleeve down and slipped her arms around him, pulling him close to her. It was the first time she had embraced him._

"_He did it yesterday. Mum tried to heal it; she couldn't get rid of the scar." Severus muttered. He felt tears filling his eyes, but forced them to stay. He didn't want to cry in front of Lily. _

"_Why doesn't she do something? Doesn't she care about you?" Lily asked, slipping her hand into his. _

"_Yes, she does. But she's an outcast in her own family. The magic world wouldn't take her back, especially if she has me with her. She's the disgrace of the Prince family, and everyone knows it." Severus sighed. Lily was desperately thinking of something to change the subject with._

"_So, I'm muggleborn because I have two muggle parents, right?" Lily asked. Severus just nodded, curious to see where she was going. "And if someone has two magical parents, they're a pureblood?" He nodded again. "So, if you have one muggle parent and one magical parent, than what are you?" _

"_Half-Blood." Severus sighed, ashamed even of his own blood status. But he told Lily it didn't matter, so he acted like it. Besides, it only mattered to the pureblood families, like the Princes. _

"_I see." Lily cocked her head and kicked her feet in the water. _

"_Prince is a better name than Snape. Why couldn't I have been one of them?" Severus wondered aloud. He felt like an outcast in his own world. He was pining for acceptance, even in his own household._

"_Well, Severus, you might not be a pureblood Prince, but you're certainly _the_ Half-Blood Prince." Lily pulled her feet out of the water and scooted back on the grass. Severus did the same, a small smile quirking the corners of his mouth. As he lay back in the grass, he watched Lily as she scooted over to him and laid her head on his stomach and stared up at the clouds. Her hand still clutched his, close to her heart as they laid there._

Whether the memory ended, or that was all Severus chose to show, Dumbledore backed away. He was pleased to see a small smile on the boys' face. It had seemed like an unpleasant memory at first, but Severus seemed to have few happy moments in his younger years. Dumbledore was familiar with the name Severus sometimes used, but not among the Slytherins.

"Very good, Severus. I believe that should be enough for tonight. Take this potion and return to your room to rest." Dumbledore handed him the usual phial of purple potion. Severus took it, drained it in one gulp, and pushed himself off the ground. He wiped his eyes and nodded once to the Professor before collecting his bag and walking over to Lily, who leapt up the chair and wrapped her arms around him.

"Oh Sev! Whatever it was he made you relive, I'm so sorry!" Lily pressed her cheek against his shoulder as she hugged him tight.

"It's alright, Lily. I'm tired, let's go." Severus gently pushed her away and grasped her hand. Together, they left Dumbledore's office, leaving the headmaster watching the door as he sat behind his desk, contemplating what he had seen inside Severus' head.

XXXXXX

"Obviously not _too_ tired." Lily giggled as Severus dug his hands into her hair and pulled her closer to him.

"Never _too_ tired." Severus smirked, pressing his lips against hers. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she returned the kiss, practically devouring his mouth. Suddenly, she couldn't help but think about James. The kiss she had shared with him was somehow still fresh in her mind. Although he may be more attractive than Severus by any girl's standards, Severus was a better kisser by far. "Lily?" Severus had pulled away, sensing that she was troubled.

"It's nothing, Sev." she whispered, feeling guilty for lying to him. She had been thinking about James, who she despised, hated, and would never forgive. There was no excuse for that. But she would not tell Severus about it unless he asked.

"Alright." Severus shrugged, returning to the task of snogging her. Lily suddenly forgot about James, and climbed onto Severus' lap, placing her legs on either side of him so that she was straddling his hips. Beneath her, Severus bit back a groan as she made an effort to get closer to him. The truth was, this was not the moment he wanted her to get closer to him. And Lily felt why.

"Sev…" she nearly moaned as he found himself kissing his way down her exposed throat. Pressing a final kiss on the nape of her neck, he pulled away.

"I-I can't…" he trailing off, hoping she'd get the picture. Obviously, she didn't as she looked at him with a confused expression. "Unless you want to take this any further, I suggest you remove yourself from my lower body." he growled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Her eyes widened as she practically scrambled off his lap, blushing as she looked at where she had been sitting. Severus made no effort to hide himself as he watched her, standing and running a hand through her hair.

"I suppose it's late. Maybe we should get to bed." she looked away from him. He stood up as well, blushing as he turned away from her.

"I…I'm going to the loo." he muttered, making a quick dash for the bathroom as he suddenly realized how exposed he felt. As he shut the door, Lily couldn't help but smile as she lay on her bed. She knew that she was pushing it with him sometimes. There was only so much control a hormonal teenager had, and Merlin knows that Severus was hardly in control of anything these days. But it still flattered her that someone could respond like _that_ to her.

Ten minutes later, Severus emerged from the bathroom, his pale cheeks tinted slightly red as he looked down at the floor. Without a word, he trudged to his bed and flopped onto it. He pulled closed the curtains and striped off his clothing, slipping on the pair of pajama bottoms and the old t-shirt that he kept at the foot of his bed. He threw his robes in his trunk and then laid down. He pulled the curtain back just enough that he could see Lily's smiling face as she watched him.

"Night, Lily." he whispered. She stood and walked over to him. Pressing a kiss to his forehead and waving her wand to put out the lights, she whispered to him.

"Good night, my Severus."

XXXXXX

On Monday afternoon, Severus was walking out of Arithmancy to be met by Lily rushing up to him and throwing her arms around him. She mumbled, "I missed you," in his ear 

before letting him go. He enjoyed the sudden attention that she paid him. She had quit bugging him constantly about eating with the other Gryffindors, and she never insisted on anything he didn't want to do. But, being the paranoid and suspicious person he was, he wondered what had provoked the sudden change. She had been nice and happy before, but suddenly he woke up in the hospital wing and they told him that he'd had an accident and he was knocked out for a week, and now he's the center of her world. He liked it, was confused by it, and it worried him all at the same time. Lily grabbed Severus' hand and they walked to Defense Against the Dark Arts together.

"I got a letter from my parents. Remus got it for me and gave it to me during Charms." Lily reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of parchment.

"They say anything good?" Severus asked.

"I asked them about Christmas. They said it's alright if you spend the holidays at my house. I mean, we have a spare bedroom and all, so you can stay there. Won't it be great, Sev? Spend a couple of weeks together outside of this castle? Away from these people?" Lily looked up at him with a smile on her face.

"That's great, Lily, but what about that twat of a sister?" Severus asked.

"Sev, don't insult Petunia!" she slapped his arm and he smirked, rolling his eyes. "Mum said she was spending the holidays with her fiancé." Lily sighed, sad that her attempts to patch together their relationship had all failed.

"Fiancé? How old is she?" Severus wondered.

"Nineteen." Lily answered. "I met him last summer. He was a prick." Lily looked down at the ground.

"Lily, such language!" Severus chuckled.

"Yeah, well, he called me a freak. And he called James a freak too," said Lily. She caught the pained look on Severus' face out of the corner of her eye. No doubt that had been the worst summer ever for him, knowing that she was with James, not far from where he lived. "I'm sorry, Sev. I can't imagine how horrible that summer was for you."

"It was…lonely." Severus hung his head; the smile had turned into a thin, straight line. Lily felt a pang of guilt as she leaned her head on his shoulder while they walked to the staircase that would lead them to the third floor.

"So, you're coming to my house? We can have Christmas together, and some of my relatives are coming. They can meet you." Lily was grinning again, trying to change the subject.

"Great," Severus mumbled. She rolled her eyes. "Yes, Lily, I am going to go home with you because you are overworking yourself and you need to go home for the holidays. Since you won't leave my side and I really don't find the idea of staying here alone that appealing, I will go to your home and intrude upon your family's Christmas."

"You would not be an intruder, Severus Snape." Lily told him.

"I will probably feel like it. Besides, I haven't heard from Mum and I want to drop by and see if she's ok. You know, one day while father is at work," Severus said. Lily's eyes widened and she looked up at him.

"You still want to see her?" Lily looked shocked. After witnessing Eileen standing over him while he lay helpless in bed, holding a knife above his chest like she was going to kill him, Lily didn't trust Eileen one bit.

"Yes. She is my mum. She may not have been perfect, but at least she tried to help me sometimes," Severus told her. He looked down, confusion flashing through his eyes when he saw her expression. "Something wrong?"

"I-I…it's just…she tried to hurt you, Sev." Lily whispered, instantly regretting the words. But she continued on, "She said that before you came along, she was happy. Before you woke up, she kept saying she didn't want to watch you suffer, so she tried to stab you. "

"What?" Severus stopped walking, his feet suddenly rooted to the spot on the ground. "She tried to stab me?" he looked at her in disbelief.

"Yes, I'm sorry…" Lily looked away, unable to bear the look of hurt and betrayal that she found settled in his eyes.

"So that's why she hasn't written me, because she was happier without me. And to just think that I died would've been a lot better for her than having to deal with me." Severus sucked in a quick breath.

"Severus…" Lily stopped. She tugged on his arm so that he was facing her. "I'm not entirely certain of your mother's priorities, but I can tell you that it never seemed like you were a very high one."

"I always knew that there was a reason she wouldn't take me away from him." Severus' stare was unfixed, his eyes seemingly looking beyond her. His jaw was clamped shut tightly, grinding his teeth together as he fought not to sob at the realization that his mother's love for him had been an illusion.

"I doubt she wanted to see you suffer at the hand of the man she loved." Lily gripped his upper arms, not knowing that her words weren't helping.

"She loved him! All the years…everything that happened…she loved him? I was just…just an inconvenience. She hated me just like her stupid pureblooded family hated me!" Severus jerked his arms away from her, trying to back away. Tears burned his dark eyes like acid, and he fought to keep them from flowing. "I never did anything to them, did I? I never gave them a reason to hate me…"

"Sev, it wasn't you. They never hated _you_. They just…didn't like the situation in which you had been born in." Lily tried to soothe him, but knew there were no words that could heal the wounds that dug deep like that. He needed time. Time to recover from his loveless childhood. Time to recover from his pain that was suffered at the hands of the Death Eaters. Lily wasn't even sure they had that much time to spare for him, but she would try.

"Stop it, Lily! It's not going to work!" Severus snapped.

"Don't be mad at me, Severus. You can't kill the messenger. What happened, happened. You just have to move past it." she rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips.

"Easy for you to say. No one hates you. Everyone loves you and wants to be your friend. And your parents love you because they wanted to have you." Severus narrowed his eyes into the glare that he was famous for. His lip curled as he jerked away from her.

"Severus…not everybody loves me!" Lily's glare rivaled his as she looked him in the eyes.

"Oh save it, Lily. That stuck up prat Petunia doesn't count," Severus said.

"Stop it, Severus! If you weren't too busy moping around feeling sorry for yourself, I'd understand more!"

"How am I supposed to react, huh? I just found out my own mother tried to kill me. What am I supposed to do? Finish the job for her?" Severus growled. Lily suddenly felt like slapping herself. Guilt and fear washed over her as she remembered two weeks ago, trying to get a crazy Severus to get away from the edge of the Astronomy Tower as he threatened to jump.

"Sev, I'm so sorry!" Lily jumped forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

"Lily?" the harsh tone in his voice was gone and as he hesitantly placed his hands on her hips.

"Never ever say anything like that ever again! Promise me, Sev; promise me you'll never try to take your own life! _Please_ promise!" Lily was nearly sobbing into the side of his neck as she pleaded.

"I promise, Lily. I'd never…I wouldn't…I didn't mean it…Lily don't cry…" Severus whispered, holding her to him as he dug his hand in her hair and closing his eyes.

"You must be having a horrible enough time as it is, I shouldn't have started fighting with you!" She hugged him as hard as she could.

"Lily, my angel…we must get to class." Severus stroked her hair as she clung to him. She pulled away and placed her hands on his bony shoulders. Looking him in the eye she spoke.

"I never want to lose you," she stated. He was surprised by the seriousness of her expression and nodded.

"You never will." he lowered his voice, speaking the words only for her. "I love you."

"I love you too, Sev. Now, let's get to class quickly before we're late." Lily gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before grabbing his hand. Together, they made their way to the third floor for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

* * *

**Hope you guys (and gals) liked it. Just so you guys know, I'll be starting school againt tomorrow (yeah sophomore, baby!! go class of 2011!!) so updates may not come as often, but I will try and write a lot! So...thanks to all my reviewers. And in the next chap: Sev and Lily go home (Lily's home) for the holidays! But...they are in for a little surprise!! Reviews give me motivation!! Thanks...**


	21. Going Crazy

Nope, Not mine at all.

warning: some language in here. Just so you know.

* * *

As the next few weeks passed, the weather got increasingly colder. Classes were getting harder and harder. Lily and Severus barely had any time for anything other than studying. Unfortunately, on top of everything that was going on, Dumbledore had been increasing Severus' treatments. They had been once a week, but in light of the news that Severus was going home with Lily for the holidays, Dumbledore met with them every evening for the two weeks before they left.

The day that they would be taking the carriages down to the station to get on the train, Lily was excited. She couldn't wait to get out of Hogwarts and away from the stress of studying. Of course, she still had the stress of Severus trailing along with her, but she refused to let that bother her. She loved Severus very much and didn't think of his needs as a constant bother.

It wasn't as easy for Severus to leave, though. Madam Pomfrey gave them a box with a phial of potion for each day they would be gone, and an extensive set of instructions for various "what if" situations based on how Severus had been acting lately. Dumbledore gave them equally extensive instructions on how to handle various "episodes" Severus might have to endure if he experiences any flashbacks. Severus was convinced it would've just been easier if he stayed at the castle. But he wanted Lily to be happy.

So, they sat in a compartment on the train occupied by only themselves and two giggling Hufflepuff first years. It was a freezing day and Lily was wrapped up in Severus' cloak as she napped with her head on his shoulder, her knees pulled up, and her arms around his waist. He sat, staring out the window and trying to ignore the two Hufflepuffs that were giggling at _him_.

"Shut it." Severus had snapped when they pointed at him, whispered, and then laughed loudly. Giving them his best glare, he turned to the window and leaned against it, shivering at the cold glass. With a sigh, he drifted off to sleep with Lily curled up by his side.

Sometime later, the Hogwarts Express pulled into King's Cross Station. Severus woke Lily up and they gathered their things and left the compartments. The whole time they tried to avoid running into any of the Marauders. When they got off the train and found themselves on platform nine and three-quarters, they were met instantly by Lily's mother.

"Mum!" Lily said, somewhat surprised. Violet Evans wrapped her arms around her daughter in a huge bear hug.

"Oh I missed you so much, Lily. Home is so lonely without you or your sister," Violet said as she let go of her daughter. She glanced over at Severus, who was wearing an unreadable expression as he watched the two women. "Severus, how are you?"

"Fine." Severus shrugged before hunching his shoulders and staring at the floor. Lily smiled and grabbed his hand as they went over to load their trunks onto trolleys and lead the way through the platform barrier. On the other side, Violet led the way to the car as Severus and Lily pushed their trolleys. Silently, they loaded their things into the trunk of the car. Lily motioned for Severus to get in the back seat and she was about to do the same when her mother grabbed her arm.

"Perhaps you should ride in the front seat." Violet had a smiled at her daughter. Lily looked at Severus, who was sitting in the seat looking up at her, and then at her mother.

"Mum…I'm sitting with Severus." Lily stated, sliding into the back. Violet gave her daughter a disapproving look, but continued to the front seat. It was no secret to either of them that Lily's parents didn't like Severus. At first, they had taken him in out of pity. But when Lily began telling them stories of how he was around the wrong people at school, they had changed their opinions of him. Both Lily and Severus knew that her parents were only accepting him now because Lily had told them what happened to him.

"So, how are you feeling, Severus? It's horrible what happened to you; Lily told me all about it in the letter." Violet started the car and looked over her shoulder at Severus, who was slouching slightly in his seat as Lily looping her arm through his and took his hand.

"Fine." Severus muttered. Lily frowned, gripping his hand tighter as her mother glanced over him, clearly evaluating him.

"Well then, best get going. It's quite a ways home." Violet's face wore a frown similar to Lily's. She did not enjoy the idea of having a boy like Severus in her house for nearly two weeks. Especially if he was like Lily had explained in the letters. But, she did feel bad for him and wanted to help him. Even if she didn't like him, she was proud of Lily for watching out for him.

It seemed as though a few silent hours had passed before Violet looked back to check on the two teenagers behind her. She smiled slightly as she saw Lily, looking down at Severus as he slept, curled up on his side with his head in her lap. She was stroking his hair as his eyelids fluttered slightly beneath his eyelids. As if sensing Violet's eyes on her, Lily looked up.

"He hasn't slept properly in a week," Lily said quietly as her mother turned back around to focus on the road. "He's been having nightmares lately because Professor Dumbledore increased his healing sessions."

"That's too bad," Violet replied. "I hope he doesn't wake you up during the night too much during the holiday."

"Well he won't, because the guest room is down the hall. Unless he comes to my room, which knowing dad, he'll be shot or something ridiculous if he does," Lily said.

"Well your father is being a bit more easy going this time. We put a spare bed in your room for Severus." Violet told her. "I know that we never got a chance to tell you, but your father is at the airport picking up your cousins Cassidy and Jessica."

"Wow, I haven't seen them since I was nine. But can't Sev just stay in Petunia's room or something, so it isn't a big deal?" Lily wondered. Personally, she was almost looking forward to a moment alone, but didn't mind it if Severus was staying in her room.

"I don't think Petunia or Vernon would particularly enjoy his company." Violet was careful to speak quietly, although it was evident that Severus was in a deep sleep.

"But I thought you said Petunia was going to Vernon's for the holiday," said Lily.

"Lily, dear, I believe you misread the letter. I said that Petunia was bringing Vernon to our house for the holiday." Violet glanced back at Lily, whose mouth was hanging open and her green eyes were wide.

"Mum!" she shrieked. Severus jumped up, startled away by Lily's high pitched shriek.

"I'm sorry, but I warned you. I know that Severus and Petunia get along like cats and mice, but I told you in the letter." Violet shook her head.

"And that pig Vernon! You're letting him in our house? He'll take one look at Sev and you know what'll happen! I told you how Severus reacts to things!" Lily said loudly, almost oblivious to the fact that Severus was wide awake and aware of everything being said.

"Yes, Vernon is going to spend two weeks at our home and his family is coming for Christmas. He is part of the family now, I know that we didn't get a chance to tell you but they were married just a week ago." Violet replied.

"I can't believe this!" Lily ground out, clearly frustrated.

"Lily…" Severus reached out a hand and tried to grasp hers.

"Just stay out of this, Severus!" Lily batted his hand away and folded her arms across her chest. Severus retracted and slumped against the other door.

"That is quite enough, young lady!" Violet snapped. "Do not take your frustrations out on someone who does not deserve it! Besides, you were the one who wanted to be with him and this is the situation that we are in! If you are not happy, then I can turn right around and send you back to that school!"

Lily did not say another word for the rest of the ride home, but did eventually accept Severus' outstretched hand.

XXXXXX

When Violet arrived back at the Evans house with Lily and Severus, it was late. It was pitch black outside and all the lights in the house were on. They hauled their trunks out of the car and walked up to the house. They entered and found everyone in the sitting room. Violet announced loudly that they were home. Jessica and Cassidy came running into the room, embracing Lily – their "favorite cousin" – and expressing how much they missed her.

Severus felt like an outcast. He was not looking forward to seeing Petunia or her new husband. He was not looking forward to listening to any more lectures from Dan Evans. And he was not looking forward to listening to Lily's two muggle cousins chatter on about stupid things.

"Severus, why don't you join Lily in the sitting room? Dan will take your trunks upstairs." Violet's hand was on his shoulder. He looked over at her and realized that Lily was already gone. Nodding, he proceeded into the sitting room where Lily was already laughing with her cousins. Petunia and Vernon were sitting on the couch, holding hands, and glaring at him. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his tattered jeans, he narrowed his eyes at the overly large buffalo sitting beside Lily's unpleasantly horse faced sister.

"What are you looking at?" Vernon snapped. Severus' nostrils flared and his lip curled into a particularly vicious looking sneer as he moved away.

"Come here, Sev." Lily grabbed his hand and pulled him down between her and the younger cousin. "This is Cassidy," she pointed to the brown haired girl next to him, "And that is Jessica." she pointed to the blonde sitting next to her. "Cassie, Jess, this is Severus. He's my boyfriend." Lily grasped his hand, sensing his discomfort.

"You've got yourself a cutie." Cassidy giggled, scooting slightly closer to him. She lowered her voice just enough for Lily and Severus to hear. "Unlike the cow Tuney hauled in." Both Lily and Cassidy laughed loudly, and Severus even smiled a bit too.

"Hey, what's going on?" Petunia's voice interrupted them. Before anyone could answer, Violet appeared in the sitting room. She approached Lily and Severus.

"You look exhausted, dear boy." Violet looked down at Severus, taking note of the dark rings around his sleepy eyes.

"I am," Severus answered quietly. He attempted to stifle a yawn, but was unsuccessful. He clapped his hand over his mouth. Lily's hand was on his arm as she turned to face him.

"Let me show you the room, and we can get you into bed. Merlin knows you need it." Lily stood, tugging him along with her. Slowly, he stood back up and followed her out, 

glancing back briefly at Lily's cousins and completely ignoring Petunia and the pig. As they exited the room and Lily led him up the stairs, Cassidy and Jessica looked at Violet.

"Who's Merlin?" Cassidy questioned. Violet smiled as the two girls laughed. Petunia rolled her eyes and looked disgusted.

XXXXXX

Lily was about to lead him into the bedroom, but Dan was slipping out of the door just as they came up. "Daddy!" Lily let go of Severus' hand and practically pounced on the man.

"Lily!" Dan hugged her back. "How's my little girl?" he asked. Severus watched from behind as Lily embraced her father. She had often told him stories of her dad taking her out on special days, just her. He had short red hair and almond shaped green eyes. It was easy to tell where Lily had inherited her looks.

"Great, daddy." Lily answered, stepping away from her father.

"Wonderful." Dan patted her arm as she slipped into her bedroom. "Ah, Severus, I was wondering if I could have a word." Severus inwardly groaned as he saw Lily shooting him a sympathetic look.

"Yes, sir." Severus answered. Lily shut the bedroom door as Dan took him down the hall.

"First off, I want to apologize for any uneasiness myself or Violet my show around you." Dan began. Severus raised an eyebrow. "The last time that we saw Lily, she was very angry at you and burst into tears at the mere mention of your name. Violet almost was against you spending the holiday here, but when she heard what happened, she was out buying another mattress to have somewhere for you to sleep."

Severus said nothing. He knew that Lily's parents didn't like him. He knew they only pitied him because of his sickly appearance and his weak mental status.

"Anyway, I'm going to give you the same lecture I gave Mr. Potter." Dan didn't miss the narrowed eyes and the scowl that were present on Severus' face as he mentioned James. "Lily is a lot like her mother. She is adventurous, and she is stubborn. She is also very sensitive. Obviously she cares a lot about you, and you obviously care about her. If you break her heart and I ever see you again, I will make sure you never break another girl's heart. Do you understand?" Severus nodded at this, holding back a number of comments he'd like to make.

"And now for some of the rules. There will be no touching, no fondling, no 'snogging'. As much as I disliked the thought, you will be sharing a room with Lily here, and it will be smaller than the one at your school. You will stay in your bed and Lily will stay in hers. Do I make myself clear?" Dan questioned. Severus just nodded and raised an eyebrow. He had no intention of touching or snogging Lily in front of her parents anyway. Nor did he think about sleeping with her. Surely he'd like to, but she wouldn't have it.

"Yes, sir." Severus finally said quietly.

"Call me Dan." the older man smiled a lopsided smile and clapped a hand on his back, making him cough involuntarily. Chuckling Dan watched as Severus walked back down the hall and knocked on the door to Lily's room. The door opened and Lily pulled him inside by his shirt.

"Finally, Sev. Did he give you the whole lecture about no kissing or touching?" Lily wondered. She had him pinned to the wall, her hands resting on his chest as she hovered her lips close to his.

"Yes." Severus replied, staring into his eyes. She leaned forward and pressed as gentle kiss against his lips and smiled.

"Well, let's get you into some pajamas and into bed. You must be exhausted." Lily turned away and popped open the lid of his trunk, lifting it and digging around. She pulled out some pajamas and handed them to him. "Hurry up and get changed." she smirked, grabbing her own clothes.

"I'm not an invalid. I can get my own clothes." Severus growled, narrowing his eyes. Lily raised an eyebrow and placed a hand on his bony shoulder.

"I'm just encouraging you, Sev. It's not going to kill you to except someone's help once in a while." Lily shook her head and walked out, shutting the door behind her. Severus stood, staring at the door for a few moments before changing into the pajamas. Lily returned a few moments later and he made his way down the hall to use the bathroom before returning to the room. He crawled into the small bed across the bedroom from Lily's and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

XXXXXX

Four days into Christmas Holiday, things were not going well. When Violet had got them all into her car to go shopping, Severus had been wedged between Lily and Vernon. Petunia had flat out refused to sit beside "that disgusting freak boy". Vernon made faces at him when he thought he wasn't looking, clearly showing that he agreed with every statement Petunia made about Severus being a "disgusting freak". But when they reached down town, Violet had divided up a large amount of money for them all to spend, as long as it was on presents for everyone. Petunia and Vernon (thankfully) went off on their own while Violet and Dan had disappeared as well. That left Lily, Severus, Cassidy, and Jessica by themselves.

They had strolled through the stores, and Severus had managed to get away from the girls long enough to spend all the money that he had reluctantly accepted from Violet and a small bit he had in the bottom of his trunk on a beautiful diamond necklace. It had taken him ten minutes to find one he thought he could afford, and then when he realized he didn't have enough, he spent another fifteen minutes telling the man at the counter a sad story about his mother dying in the hospital and he wanted her to have one last nice gift before she passed on. As he left the shop and tucked the box into the pocket of his jacket, he smiled to himself, glad he still had his cunning and his wits.

The next day Dan had brought home a beautiful Christmas tree for them, Lily had been so excited about decorating it that she had gotten Severus to "join in on the fun". The third day of holidays, Violet had convinced Lily and her cousins to help bake cookies. Severus had rolled his eyes and stood back, insisting that he didn't enjoy baking cookies. Violet had been disappointed, but instead had sent him outside to help Dan set up Christmas lights.

Day four was unplanned. In the morning, Severus had decided he wanted to go for a walk, so Lily followed. They walked in silence, their boots crunching in the snow. After nearly an hour, Severus stopped. Lily looked up from the ground that she had been staring at. She realized they had reached Spinner's End. Gulping audibly, she looked up at Severus. He was staring, fixed straight ahead, down the dreary old street.

"He's at work." Severus stated. "The car's gone."

"Are you going to go?" Lily asked, squeezing his hand in hers.

"Yes." he started walking, slower than before. Lily sighed and followed. A couple of silent minutes later, they were standing in front of the last house on Spinner's End.

It was almost unrecognizable. Like a different family lived there completely. It was even a different color. Most of the other houses were dark grayish colors. This house was painted a lovely tan color, with white trim. A beautiful wooden sign had "The Snape's" carved into it and was hanging near the door. Severus took a deep breath and stepped towards the door, knocking twice.

"Just a minute!" was heard from the other side of the door. They heard some rustling around and then the door was opened. Eileen stood in front of them. Her black hair pulled back in a loose bun and her features were actually pleasant looking. She was wearing new clothes, and she looked beautiful. And so did the inside of the house. But as soon as Eileen set eyes on him, she looked as though she had just witnessed murder.

"S-S-Severus?" her black eyes were wide, staring at her son in horror. "Oh my God, what are you doing here?"

"So it's true then?" Severus' usually silky, smooth voice was harsh as he shook with anger. There was a murderous look in his eyes as he advanced through the door.

"Sev…" Lily bit her lip and tried to grab his arm.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I…I just never heard anything from the school. I thought you were gone. I was so sad, but Tobias said I had to move on. He bought new furniture and painted the house. He even quit drinking because he knew that it would help." Eileen was nearly cowering beneath Severus.

"Bullshit!" Severus yelled. "You hate me! You enjoyed thinking I was dead and never coming back! You thought he would love you more if I wasn't there! I can see how much you really wanted me now. Nice to know that all that 'love' was just fake!"

"It wasn't fake! I loved you! You were my son! I would trade nothing in the world for you, my Severus." Eileen was afraid, and it was clear.

"Don't lie to him!" Lily stepped forward. "I saw you try to kill him! You never cared about him! Stop lying to him!" and before she knew it, her hand was flying through the air, striking the older woman across the cheek.

"Lily!" Severus grabbed her and pulled her away as Eileen reached to the pocket of her jeans, where her brand new looking wand was resting. Pulling it out, she shot a hex and Lily, making her fly backwards.

"Take your mudblood and get out. I will not tolerate _filth_ in my house." Eileen spat.

"Then you better kick out that bastard." Severus snarled back.

"Get out, you filthy half-blood. I will not have you ruin this because you are greedy. Get. Out." Eileen pointed her wand at Severus, who couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Marry a muggle, what do you expect to get? All that pureblood pride and prejudice goes down the drain! You can't marry a muggle and hate me or her because our blood is dirty! It doesn't work that way!" Severus was nearly yelling. He couldn't believe the nerve of the woman, yelling at him because of his blood status. It wasn't as if he could've helped it. She made him, after all.

"That's different. Tobias has no blood status, as he is muggle. For a witch or wizard to have muggle blood is disgraceful. Get out." Eileen took a step forward, her wand now directly under his chin.

"You used to tell me that being half-blood was better than a mudblood. Is that not true?" Severus' voice was nearly a whisper as his face was contorted to show the betrayal he was feeling.

"There is no such thing as a half-blood Prince. I should have listened to my family and gotten rid of you from the start." Eileen snapped. Severus was trying desperately not to cry. All of his childhood he had wanted nothing more than to be accepted by his parents. Now to be flat out rejected nearly crushed him. What they say is very right. The truth really does hurt.

"But…but I'm your son." Severus was backing away, trying once more to get his mother to understand.

"You are no son of mine." Eileen stated. Lily was standing up now, groaning as she grabbed Severus' hand and wiped the dirt off her jacket. Severus yanked her hand, towing her along with him as she ran out of the house and slammed the door. With Lily lagging behind him, he ran down the snow covered side walk until they reached the end of the street.

He let go of Lily's hand and sunk to his knees in the deep snow. Sobbing, he buried his head in his hands. Lily dropped down beside him and placed her hand on his back, slowly rubbing gentle circles.

"It's ok, Sev." she whispered, wrapping her arms around his thin shoulders. She closed her eyes and cried with him. He leaned into her, his whole body shaking as he sobbed loudly. "It's going to be alright…" Lily pressed her cheek against the side of his head, pulling him even closer to her.

"Lily…" he grabbed the sleeve of her heavy winter coat and pulled her down so that she was looking at him. "I love you." he whispered, grabbing the collar of her coat and burying his head in her chest.

"I love you too, Sev." She held him close, ignoring the rising blush in her cheeks. They sat in the freezing snow for a long while as he cried. Lily just held him, not really knowing exactly how else to help. She knew that the outcome wouldn't be very good if he went to that house. The only thing she could think of was why she let him go. So lost in thought was she, she didn't realize that Severus had stopped crying and was looking up at her. His eyes were red and his cheeks glistening with still fresh trails that the salty tears had flowed down.

"Let's go back. Its freezing," he stated. Lily could tell simply by his words and tone of voice that he wasn't himself.

"Alright." she stood and held a hand out for him to take.

XXXXXX

No one asked any questions when Severus didn't get out of bed at all the next day. Lily had simply said he was tired. Implying that he didn't feel well would make Violet want to 

care for him. Saying he had an encounter with his mother would make Violet and Dan want to go have a talk with Eileen about raising her son.

Unfortunately, people began asking questions when Severus stayed locked up in the bedroom for three days straight. On Christmas Eve, Violet began demanding that Severus come to eat dinner with them, as it was evident Lily was getting tired of bringing meals to him.

Violet took it upon herself to storm up the stairs, fling open the door, and pull back the covers on his bed. She realized quickly that it was a mistake. He was lying there, curled up into a fetal position, sleeping quietly on the bed. When she pulled back the covers, he was startled awake, let out an awkward squawk, and jumped up to the head of the bed and leaned against the wall.

"Severus, dear, it's quite alright. Come over and sit here." she patted the bed next to her. Slowly he moved so that he was sitting beside her. "Now why don't you tell me what's wrong? What's got you so jumpy?" she asked gently. Severus sat, staring down at his lap for a long while. The room was silent as Violet stared at him with gentle eyes. It was easy to tell where Lily inherited her kindness and generosity from. Finally, Severus spoke.

"My mum disowned me," he said quietly.

"That's awful." Violet felt a pang of sympathy for him. "It's Christmas Eve, Severus. My nieces have worried about you almost as much as Lily. Come and join your knew family for dinner." Violet placed a comforting hand on his shoulder as watched him as he looked up at her with a hopeful expression.

"I'll get dressed," was all he said. Violet patted his shoulder before standing. She looked down at him. "Whatever I have said to you before, I apologize. You are very welcome in this house, Severus."

"Thank you." Severus whispered, watching as Violet left him alone in the room.

XXXXXX

Christmas morning had come and everyone was happy. The living room was full. Late the night before, Vernon's exceptionally large parents and sister arrived. They stayed in the den, which was the only open place to stay.

Presents surrounded the tree as the adults and teenagers surrounded the tree. Vernon's parents took up the couch while his sister Marge sat in one of the armchairs. Violet was standing near the tree and Dan was sitting on the floor. Cassidy and Jessica sat on the floor as well while Severus sat in a recliner with Lily on the arm of the chair.

"Happy Christmas, everyone!" Violet called out cheerfully, a red pointed hat was atop her head with a jingly ball at the end of it. She had sorted the presents into piles according to who they were for. Severus was shocked and delighted to find quite a big stack for him.

After everyone had received a gift from their stack, they all began tearing at the wrapping paper. Except for Severus. His box, which he was surprised to see that it was from Cassidy and Jessica both, sat in his lap as he watched Lily tear at the paper of a small box. He smiled as he watched her pull out a pair of gold earrings her parents had gotten her. She was grinning as she put them on and flashed them around. She turned to him and smiled.

"Come on, Sev, open your present!" she said. She watched as he carefully pulled the ends apart and pulled a white box from the paper. Carefully he opened the box and smirked when he saw a green and black sweater that he had mentioned he liked as they were passing by a rack in a particular clothing store. Cassidy was smiling when she saw that he liked it. When his eyes met hers, she blushed and turned away.

"I like it." he smiled as Lily pushed the paper and the box off his lap to make way for the new round of presents. They continued opening presents until there were just two left. The gifts that Lily and Severus had gotten each other. They decided it would be better to open their gifts alone, so when everyone began to clean up and take their new things upstairs, Lily drug Severus up to their room so that they could open them.

"Open yours first, Sev." Lily said as he sat beside her on her bed. He nodded and pulled the paper off more aggressively as he eagerly wanted to see what she had gotten him. He pulled out a book. A leather bound notebook to be exact. On the front cover were his initials, "S.T.S." pressed into the leather in curly, extravagant letters. He ran his fingers over them. The pages in the book were empty parchment, waiting to be written on. "It's charmed, so that it fixes any spelling or grammar mistakes. And it is supposed to be really easy to erase words too. I figured you could use something to write your notes in, besides the margins of you old potions book."

"I love it," he whispered. "Thank you so much." He leaned forward, sliding his hand through her hair and cupping the back of her head. He drew her closer and pressed his lips against hers in a gently and passionate kiss. The kiss lasted for a long while before they finally pulled apart, needing air. "Open yours," he told her. She nodded and looked at the small, poorly wrapped box in her hand. Nibbling on her lip, she tore off the paper and ran her fingers across the velvet box. She had an idea what it was, but wasn't certain. Opening the box, she felt her heart skip a beat as a sparkling diamond necklace glittered in the light.

"Oh Merlin, Sev this is beautiful." Lily knew her mouth was hanging open, but she didn't care. "Thank you so much!" She jumped over onto his lap, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. "I love you, Sev."

XXXXXX

The dinner table was exceptionally crowded. There was hardly any room to move. But Lily had no problem proudly showing off her favorite present, which sparkled in the light of the chandelier above the table. Severus did have a problem. For one, he was not sitting near Lily at all. In fact, he was as far away from her as could possibly be. And he was crammed between Petunia and Vernon's sister Marge.

"You are such a skinny boy, aren't you?" Marge was elbowing him as she crammed a fork full of roast into her mouth. Severus grunted as he stabbed at a pea on his plate.

"He's a freak is what he is. He called me a freak, but he's the strange one." Petunia practically snarled as she glared at him. "And he probably thinks he's better than you, too."

"You're one of those, are you? Think you're better than everyone? Well, well then." Marge glared at him too.

"Now, now that is enough. This is Christmas, there will be no name calling." Violet scolded from across the table.

"It's not my fault these two are just so ignorant that they have been reduced to calling their superiors 'freaks'." Severus snarled, his lip curling as his back straightened.

"Severus, that is quite enough!" Violet snapped.

"How dare you call me ignorant!" Petunia exclaimed.

"Well I can't help it that you're just a muggle! You are what you are. An ignorant muggle!" Severus snapped.

"You're disgusting!" Petunia shrieked. She reached forward and grabbed the gravy dish. With an angry glint in her eye, she poured the gravy down his front and into his lap.

"Fuck!" Severus yelped loudly, earning a gasp from nearly everyone at the table. He backhanded Petunia in an effort to jump away from the table and get the scalding hot gravy away from certain areas of his body.

"Don't lay a hand on my wife!" Vernon bellowed. He was about to lunge, but Severus grabbed the nearest thing (a freshly buttered dinner roll) and chucked it at Vernon's pudgy face. There was a shriek from the other side of the table and Violet was yelling at them.

"Stop this nonsense right now!" Violet yelled. Vernon had scooped his hand into the mashed potatoes and thrown it in the direction of Violet, but it landed in Cassidy's hair. Cassidy picked up the nearest food dish and threw it across the table, landing it on the 

front of Lily's perfectly while top. Soon, everyone was throwing food across the table. Violet was yelling at them through the cloud of Christmas Dinner. Finally, after ten minutes, Violet had gone hoarse and there was not a single piece of food that wasn't splattered across the floor, ceiling, walls, or occupants of the room.

"Disgusting!" Violet shrieked. There was a moment of silence where everyone was just staring at each other.

"That. Was. Awesome." Jessica broke the silence. All eyes turned to her, and suddenly everyone began to laugh.

And it was a Christmas that all eleven of them would remember for years. The seven teenagers were set to the task of cleaning up the remnants of the food fight, laughing and messing around until late that night as they replayed moments of the fight. All the hate and prejudice between some members of the family seemed to be forgotten for a few hours as they were forced to eat left over pasta from the night before and some stale Christmas cookies.

Severus felt, as if for the first time, that he was part of a family. Petunia may have called him a freak and spilled hot gravy down his front, but when they were all joking and messing around while cleaning the dining room, he felt accepted. And that night, for the first time in the last couple weeks, he slept without a single nightmare.

* * *

**Woo hope you guys liked! First week of school was alright, hope the second week is alright too! Anyway, I tried to give you guys a bit of a longer chapter...hope you enjoy. And please review people! I only got like 4 reviews on the last chapter!! They are very much appreciated!! Anyway, I enjoy writing this story so if you guys enjoy reading it, then let me know!! Thanx**


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